Jocular Look@ Today’s News: LeBron James Heroin

LeBron James gets high enough to dunk. This stuff will get you high enough to get arrested. Police in Upper Darby, Pa., say they busted a 19-year-old drug dealer with a whopping 140 packets of heroin, all of which featured a silhouette of the Miami Heat star throwing down a monster dunk, according to the Philadelphia Daily News.

“I don’t think LeBron James would be too happy with this drug-dealer dude using his name on these street bags,” Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood told the paper. Marlon Guess, of Philadelphia, was arrested after he allegedly sold all 140 baggies to an undercover officer for $750 at about 6 p.m. on Thursday. Guess reportedly gave chase before authorities collared him, slamming his rental car into a police cruiser and another car before he ditched his vehicle and ran. Cops caught up to him shortly after.

MrMary Weigh’s In

Some people judge how influential they are by their Twitter Followers, or KLOUT score or maybe by how many views their blog gets , or if we are outside the the domain of the internet some people measure there influence by magazine covers, or talk show invites.  There is a new way  to gauge how successful you are. You have reached the ultimate creshendo of success if there is an recreational though illegal drugs are named after you. It make sense, LeBron can sometimes soar through the air, to deliver a nasty powerful dunk. I would imagine this LeBron heroin will get you lifted to new heights of the once untouchable stratosphere with out the usual tickets, long lines and of course the airplane.

Lebron is of course not alone. Have you checked out:

  1.  Obama-shaped ecstasy pills,
  2. Harry Potter ecstasy pills,
  3. Bin Laden-brand heroin.

Why stop at just there let us flash back to an interesting Interview with Howie Mandel

MANDEL: You know what, it`s funny you ask because I talk about that in the book. I don`t. But there is – not here but when you watch me on “Deal,” you know I have just a little goat here. A little, what do you call that — soul patch. 
BEHAR: Uh huh. I don`t know, yes.
MANDEL: Like that, you know I do that, I have, like that you see it? I`m walking out, I have a little soul patch. 
MANDEL: And I tnk this is one of the biggest honors is there is a Brazilian waxing place in California, southern California.
BEHAR: Right.
MANDEL: And they actually — you can order the Howie Mandel. The ladies can order that. 
BEHAR: Oh god. 
MANDEL: That`s not a joke. 

In Conclusion

Maybe on day I will be famous, but I am preparing myself. If I get famous it wont be for my ball handling skill [had to make that joke], I figure if i get famous I would want a sexual act named after for starters because we are all getting fucked, buts its not always so bad. I dunno that sounds uplifting and inspiration to me. Anyone want to nominate a sexual act ? that I can rebrand and package as my own ?


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