Satire || Three Beautiful Stories That Prove There’s More to Life than Having Erections (NSFW)

Erectile-Dysfunction

Warning: This article contains sorta nude images and may be inappropriate for work.

In what is clearly a case of art imitating the reality of imitation, local Chicago area artist ‘RiverCat, Inc’ has created what some are calling a counterculture masterwork of criticism. The main rumor going around the gallery is that social media was the central inspiration for this installation. About three hours after boarding a direct flight from JFK to Chicago O’Hare, I find myself seated across from a demure ‘Rivercat, Inc.’ in a plain-looking coffee shop.

As a blogger, I’ve always made it a point to talk about the negatives of social media how it tends to promote more isolation than socialization, not to mention the mob mentality it encourages when dealing with serious issues.With that said, what is the importance of social media for this installation?

Bengal-cat-in-riverRecently the plus sized woman was featured on the cover of ‘Sports Illustrated magazine inspired many congratulatory articles about disarming the stranglehold that industry beauty standards hold over women.

Did you find shattering beauty standards inherently wrong?

Bengal-cat-in-riverOh no, not at all, but what bugs me is how we forget that beauty standards just don’t appear out of thin air. Beauty standards evolve as people do. The serious problem we haven’t addressed are the subversive messages our corporate owners inculcate us with through the media. The hijacking of beauty standards in order to market products, technology, and cheeseburgers is a corporate means to an end. Putting a voluptuous plus-sized woman on the cover of a popular magazine doesn’t solve the root issue of why we are so easily inculcated with falsity.

You know when left to my own devices, I find that I enjoy a wide spectrum of beauty, looking at my blow up doll collection. Sadly, I had to let one down easy the other day. So where do the flaccid dicks come in, outside niche porn?

Bengal-cat-in-river[Chuckling] What’s wrong with you?  I find many online magazines first present a given a conclusion before the facts. The rest of the article is written in such a tone to imply that if you don’t agree 100% with the initial conclusion your part of the problem.

But going back to your question: The main article that most directly had an impact was this one: ‘Stunning Nude Photos Prove Love Comes In All Shapes And Sizes‘and ‘Bearded Model Harnaam Kaur Absolutely slain Her First Runway Show‘. Again, I’m mocking the type of writing and presentation of reality. In a country with an obesity epidemic, I didn’t think photos could prove that love comes in all sizes more than good eyeglass prescriptions. Proof requires more stringent conditions, numbers, demographics polled etc.

Three Pictures that [Ironically] Nail there’s more to life than Erections

RiverCat INc

a.)

Retired Marine Corps Sergeant Mace can’t find a more fulfilling life than the one he leads at The Deer Creek Nursing Home. His erectile dysfunction never obstructs his breaking the hearts of visiting family members he can’t recognize. After a brief tenure in the military during the 50’s, Sergeant Mace worked assiduously to climb the ranks of his hometown police force in rural Mississippi where, according to local estimates he was directly responsible for curbing the onslaught of the Civil Right movement in his county by 2-3 years.

b.)
Next, retired Polish American business mogul ‘Tomasz’ doesn’t let Erectile Dysfunction frustrate neither his goals nor his salaried trophy wife. With an impoverished family back in her home country to inspire her, ‘Maria’ has no problem projecting the illusion of love and physical desire. He [Tomasz] tells me that if and when he so desires an earth shattering orgasm, he only has to pour money into the campaign of an ultraconservative politician eager to further destabilize the nation’s already porous social net.

c.)
Finally, William says his early onset flaccidity has been a gift. He feels less guilty about his wife fulfilling her cuckold fantasies. [Cuckold fantasies since 2010 have been labeled as the sexy fetish for intellectuals.] His well-kept half-court basketball setup facilitates ‘socializing’ with all the brothers his wife brings over. Consequently, his game has noticeably improved according to his new best black friend, D-money. According to Mr. Money: “..Can’t fuck with his jump shot, his wife, yes but his jump shots, no.”

 

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