Thank You For Welcoming Me Back


The King Returns

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The Second Reign

It is without much fanfare that I’ve emerged from my self-imposed exile from blogging. While a lot has changed, what hasn’t is the frequency and intensity that you, my audience, have cried out for someone to guide you again through the labyrinthine simulacrum of reality referred to as daily living. I understand your concern as well, as I take upon my shoulders the responsibility to speak honestly and cast my light on the nefarious shadows that engulf your every thought.

You must be asking,  ‘Does he still have it ?’  Can he lead out of the perilous dark of moral somnolence into a new beginning wrought with hope, possibility and free condoms? I still honor my commitment to sweeten reality with my acerbic wit, overly didactic diatribe, perspicacious social commentary and irreverent joking, because laughter as well as discrete masturbation habits is all that separates us from the beast of the field, unless it’s Spring Break Panama City.

I decree that:

Even though large tracts of blogs on WordPress, many old and famous have fallen or may soon fall into the grip of an almost eternal slumber I shall go on to the end fight against becoming boring, typical and predictable whatever the cost may be until, in God’s good time, something new (preferably a lady in her mid to late twenties) steps forth to the rescue me from my old habits putting my absurd pontifications online.

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What’s Been Happening: A Retrospective Look at the Last 7 Months Part 1


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2014 in Review: “They’re beating negroes like hotcakes!

Did you think 2015 could enter in the world scene with the fanfare and pomp of a prized erection, and while 2014 escape my commentary ? I wouldn’t stand for such tom-foolery. Camus has said that: “At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face.” If only he knew that, that feeling of absurdity is another name for the police. Of course the incidence of police brutality and its ramifications on the ever widening socio economic interpretations of race relations elicited the greatest response from me this year.

I thought Orwell’s asking us to imagine a boot stomping on a human face forever was an invitation for reflection not so much a bankable prediction. But anyways here it is:


 

Air Malaysia

Living through 9/11 did a lot to influence how I view world events. Normally when I hear that Muslims crashed in a plane I assume they were trying to steer it into a building. The first plane crashed into a sea which leads to me believe that if terrorist were on board they were the ones on academic probation at Jihad Uni. Everyone knows there are no tall buildings under water. The second flight was downed by reprobate pro-Russian separatist in the Ukraine. Of course this will be the inspiration of an opening sequence to a plot-less Michael Bay film.

Ebola

Everyone with AIDS and Cancer felt complete irrelevant this past year with the emergence of Ebola. If you were a non-minority american you with Ebola you got to be on TV. Ebola was so popular I believe the UN might replace cholera with it as the gift its brings to countries it tries to ‘help’

George Clooney gets married

George Clooney and his wife remind of the John McCain and Sarah Palin presidential run. The formula is the same: swollen prostate, past-prime non-contributing once celebrated public figure with a younger more accessible woman by his side, moonlighting as something other than a nurse or health care assistant. Why is this news?

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10 Observations from Working In a Corporate Office


downloadIt’s not just wearing collared shirts these days; I put away my treasured copy of Che Guevara’s Guerilla Warfare. I have changed. Did you know what I got in return from leaving my wildness, untamed imagination and  straight talking at home when I go to the office ?

Options.

My paycheck almost doubled in a year. I can afford to put cheese on everything I order at the restaurant. To show you how extreme it has gotten, the other day I ordered a cheese platter, and asked for extra cheese on top of that. A few months ago I washed down a Minetta Tavern Black label Burger (a $26 dollar affair) with amazing dessert, and some Calvados.

Yet I am grossly unhappy with my job. Why ? Here are 10  of my many observations accrued since June 16th:

  1. CEO’s fall into two categories sociopathic or psychopathic. They want to extract the most from you with the least effort. And they do this in part by staffing the higher-up positions  with yes-men and yes women who will never question the why’s and how’s. They contort reality with insincere words.
  2. Your ability to think critically is only appreciated when it is in accord with someone’s fantasy. Pointing out inconsistencies, offering other alternatives, being proactive, can and are easily labeled as being, negative.
  3. Meetings are hell on earth. Over 40% of your work week will be mired in meetings forcing you to work weekend and nights to meet immutable deadlines because someone likes the sound of their voice.
  4. No one at the top is accountable. In other words the captain steering the ship straight into the iceberg isn’t responsible for the carnage. The engine room staff, the kitchen staff, maintenance is responsible. If they all have been doing their job nothing bad will happen ever.
  5. Ass in seat syndrome rules. Someone who has their ass in a seat for 10 hours is lauded more than some who does double their work in 8 hours. Loyalty is judged by the appearance of being present

I was an Entrepreneur Once

I think I may start my own business mostly because I don’t have the patience and tolerance for bullshit.

Question of the Day: What kinda of business would you start if you could ?

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The World Cup Commentary You Weren’t Aloud to See (1)


The Real Reason Argentina Lost the World Cup

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The following is commentary I posted on Facebook during the course of the World Series Final.  I have reproduced it here for you because, the powerful voice of the people will not be suppressed and I got comments from friends as to how insightful and poignant it was. Why not share? There will be a follow-up post to this explaining some things in case you don’t get the jokes.

 

-> Mrmary Muthafucking Poppins


Socio-Culural But Brutal Commentary on the World Cup Game

 

The Germans looked like they Are bunkering down in front of the goal,  sounds oddly familiar…..

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If they had scored that goal I couldn’t shit talk as much over this nice meal at Pollo Supremo*

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No matter who wins the Brazilian people are the real winner. They get to return to abject poverty while watching million dollar stadiums crumble

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jesusThis just in: German Goalie learned defense from over-religious sheltered girls saving it for Jesus

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Even if Margaret Thatcher and I are the only two rooting for Germany I don’t care. Granted if she is watching it will be from the deepest pit of hell, but … Go Germany

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If Argentina loses they can blame the War over the Falkland islands. Generations to come will still suffer the shame

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Worse case scenario after a German Victory, the German team can parade through Las pampas and bring victory to Argentina by diffusion

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Well with the national soccer team getting, for lack of a better word, gang banged, the last 2 games it’s expected

The World Cup of Prostitution: How the Soccer Tourney Is Affecting Brazil’s Sex Workers

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Before the World Cup kickoff on June 12 the country invested an additional $900 million in security with the hope of making it, as they said, “one of the most protected sports events in history.” In addition to cutting edge helicopters and surveillance equipment, the police crackdown on crime also extended to prostitution in order to, as the district attorney stated, “contribute to changing [Rio’s] soiled image.” Thousands of sex websites were reportedly targeted, and Brazil’s leftist president, Dilma Rousseff, took to Twitter to denounce “sexual tourism” during the World Cup. (Read More)

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Ok recap: Argentina thought by trying to cripple German players they could score an early goal. Second half they may have to play soccer

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ball-pit-costume-6963Outside of a Marquis de Sade novel I’ve never seen such good ball-handling lead to no penetrations on goal

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Second half  Bitvhes!! Saved the best shit talking for this

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To all my Caribbean folk if Argentina loses will they still pencil in Caucasian on forms or will they import more prisoners from Western Europe ? ****

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How many knife fight are happening in Buenos Aires, Right now

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Last month Miguel Cotto beat Mendez like he was garbage, now can Argentina handle another loss ?

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I think right after the world cup the current pope from Argentina should fight the old pope. Who ever wins gets jail some pedophiles lives on national tv!!!

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The Argentinians gave a nice shoulder to the face and now one good turn deserves another

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Charging_on_German_Trenches_in_Gas_MasksHistory shows that you can’t take a German charge so lightly

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I’m guessing that the German’s goalkeepers grandfather fought in a tanks under Rommel ‘s command. That Argentinian pendejo got crushed like Poland in the early part of the War

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Uhm Messi ?

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I haven’t seen Argentineans scramble like this since Peron and the Dity War!IMAG0835

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If they lose, they will call that long walk back to Argentina the New Trail of tears***

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Wow does anyone know any song bout martin fierro and tough gauchos, so secure in their masculine that they ride each other?

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Messi is such a great player he doesn’t have to show up to play for his team to lose

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Messi chokes like Lebron maybe he should go to Cleveland took after this is over?

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Cocaine is one hell of a drug

Cocaine is one hell of a drug

Diego Maradona will sell everyone cocaine at discounted prices afterwards

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Damn German so close to scoring the prom isn’t over yet. The proverbial broom closet will be free soon

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Argentina there is always empanadas. You do that well and also losing to Western European Nations on an International stage

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Messi in this game is as good as a poopie flavored lollipop

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luftwaffeGermans raining shots on goal like the Luftwaffe

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History tells us that to win without going to penalty kicks would require Argentina to get help from America Britain russia

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Argentina can still win, next world cup

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tumblr_mkmj80DFhD1s822efo1_500 (1)Can we stop Shakira from making world cup songs

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Germany better win after all this shit I’ve talked

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Man I got shit to do …wrap the game up!!

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Argentina couldn’t score a goal if the net was the size of England

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If soccer was about pretending to act hurt the Argentinians would have won already. Too bad they put all their talent into their novelss

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I’m surprise by how much time Argentinean players spend on their backs foreboding perhaps (They are about to get fucked) 

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Healing up and prevent pimple outbreaks

Healing up and prevent pimple outbreaks

Every time I see a bloody German I wonder if they put uncooked bratwurst on the wounds some say it’s better than neosporin

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He wasn’t trying to grab his shirt he was going for an aatomic wedgie

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hitler-youth

Gggggggooooooooooaaassssslllllllllll …..never make a Hitler youth bleed his own blood, NEVER!

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keep-calm-and-go-balls-deep-26Argentina took it deep, into the later rounds

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Messi too little too late

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I love how the pan in on Argentineans crying, they look so much like Miami heat fans

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This means that Turkish immigrants in Germany will be abused a lil less for the net 3 days

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Man the new trail of tears commences in 5 4 3 2 …

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Argentina is to soccer what the Knicks are to winning #YeaISaidIt

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It was easy to pick out all the Argentinians today. Imagine your average Mets fans, still sullied by the shame of gross ineptitude just better looking with bad bleach jobs and the occasional greasy pony tail

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Null Stunde or the Zeroth Hour on the Spoonful


I love this time of year, the excoriating summer heat, the late sunsets,  and who can forget the extra dosage of powder or powder spray depending on whether your genitals are of the sway or non-sways species.  To add to the over-brimming excitement, the world is witnessing tremendous ball handling skills, creative ways of penetration through backfield defenses, and not from the league of whores who invested in learning english for the World Cup, either.

Cutting to the Chase

After 6 years of hard work when my last job finished about a month ago, I was a little saddened to find out that  no one new it was my last day and I ended up cleaning out ym desk and my office alone. A week later I started a new job in a new field and I am being slammed by work. I have put in a lot of over time, and I get to come home to an empty house because MrsMary and I have amicably split up and she is back home and yes I will be working this July 4th week. It’s a time of new beginnings and of course some sadness and trepidation.

With that said before all this went down I felt that this blog had grown stale. I feel like leaving this one up and starting a while other blog. I want to clarify stale in the sense that I got bored dishing out so many heaping spoonfuls of sugar to make reality more palatable for you all that I kind of got sick of it. “You can only fish so much in a bath-tub before your ass hurts” That’s a MrMary original. Use it with care.

In the meantime, I got something different  that should be coming down the pipeline once I get a moment

 

Peace Errbody

Mr Mary