Epic Rant || Americans and Justin Bieber

Hola Mi Gente,

0201-bieber-lil-za-nyc-3Recently Justin Bieber has caught the ire of a subset of the American populace that can be best described by the phrase “amnesic hypocrites”. His latest in a string of public offenses involves licking and or sucking on a stripper’s nipples. While I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, can’t we all agree that nipples were designed by evolution, for the very purpose of being sucked on? What else was he supposed to do with a strippers nipple ? Use it for math calculations like one would an abacus.

Here is a math problem Justin should have done with the strippers nipple provided he had a calculator nearby: 6922251 * 8 = old immature highschool joke that guys anywhere from 12 to 37 find funny.

images (2)According to a 2013 study published by Bitdefender, a security technology company that also offers parental control solutions, kids start watching porn online from as early as age 6 and begin flirting on the Internet from the age of 8.  The study, “Kids and Online Threats”, was conducted from over 19,000 parents worldwide. I saw pornographic images at age 6 but that was because I walked in on my parents seeking retribution on each other.

Don’t you remember how much of a little shit you were at 19?  Now imagine you have millions of dollars, fame, a crew, and legion of people young and old that want to fuck you? I’m surprised he’s not snorting lines of cocaine of a midget’s anus  while wearing an Easter Bunny suit with a steel dildo hanging from his neck.

The people who are complaining the loudest about Justin Bieber are the ones who seem to forget that our teen years were a grave yard for common sense and public decency. Those  who are so outraged believe that people work to become famous in order to be a shining light in the collective soul-darkness, guiding those with an egregious lack of initiative into action. This is bullshit of course. Look at this comment:

Mostly I could care less what Bieber does as long as no one is hurt. But I work with kids and so many little girls love him and he is so unworthy of their admiration. While I understand that pop stars shouldn’t be roll models and I don’t have a solution but some how I do think if your fan base is made up of children you should behave yourself in public 

Let’s cut the fucking shit. Our politicians don’t behave in public and neither do we. Was there ever a time in history  where human beings were known for behaving in public? Have you walked the streets on New Years Day. There are more shriveled-up, rank genitals on the street on New Years Eve then there were at the geriatric ward where I volunteered.  I bet 80% of you reading this have at one time been that drunk friend that just destroyed your friend’s faith in humanity by some pathetic public display.

Who is worthy of anyone’s admiration? No One!

And more importantly who are these fucking kids that look up to Justin as a role model. I’ve yet to meet kids that dumb. Are these the same kids that find middle aged-men guys with beady eyes, a neat white-collar, and a vestry so irresistibly attractive? Kids look up to Bieber because he was extricated from the slaughter of innocence by wealth. While it wasn’t Holden Caufield, someone pulled Justin Bieber away from the cliff at the end of that field of rye. The rest will, like we did many years earlier, march slowly to the edge of the precipice accompanied by the cries of children falling into the River Lethe we call adulthood.

Black-and-white-kids-together...-300x200If at 19 you can be drafted into a war I think consensual nipple sucking, inclusive of your friends is fine.  Would we have been upset if we saw pictures of his gassing a village, hurling grenades at wedding in Yemen or Iraq? Plus what better image is there to start black history month than young black and white adults coming together to suck at the nipples of a voluptuous stripper?

Dr King would see this as progress.

*In no way do I support Bieber or his music!


    • Hola NotaPunkRocker!!

      First of all isn’t it cool that we both have not being a punk rocker in common?!

      Im definitely not a fan of Justin Bieber, a 32 year old dude listening to the stuff he puts out is strange. If I had money and fame at 19 I would have been in and out of rehab had a few illegitimate children and god knows what else. We have an odd relationship with celebrity. We seem to want them to live a lie all the time


  1. Young girls always admire the wrong guys lol for my generation here in the UK it was either George Michael (they had no idea they were on to a real time waster there lol) or like me John Taylor Duran Durans bass player who at the time was spiralling out of control on drink and drugs (nothing has changed success when young plus lots of money = rehab if you are lucky)


    • Funny you mention Duran Duran,I always at odd times sing lines from Come Undone to Ms MAry to annoy her. I have heard that a lot of girls in the UK had had a crush on George Michaels before they realized they were barking up the wrong tree, must have been the hot-pants and dancing style I suppose. Your absolutely right bout there being no change. I don’t get why people get the whole holier than though attitude and get outraged when they clearly did stuff just as bad in their youth.


  2. Whew, I’m glad you put that disclaimer at the end. Had me worried there… 😉

    “Was there ever a time in history where human beings were known for behaving in public?”

    Yes. When Mr. Rogers was alive.
    Now THERE’S a role model for a whole heap of generations. I used to watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood everyday growing up…I honestly think that if parents had their younglings watch reruns of that instead of Spongebob or Reality TV, we would all be in a better place.


    • I used to love Mr Rogers. Thought him and the trolley was the shit. I was always unsure about the post man Mr McFeeley. He seemed to be a closeted pedo. But that’s neither here nor there. I found Fred Rogers to be an honest good guy and it was a benefit to everyone to have him on tv. I still think though that its human nature to go a little nuts, and in public and even if we had the best role models there would still be drunken binges and arguments outside, people disturbing the peace, public nudity etc Hell I think I was a very well-behaved and I have been publically nude and intoxicated and all sorts of crazy shit lol


  3. It is indeed a grand moment to start Black History Month. What a touching image. All I can say is that THANK CHRIST they didn’t have internet and phones on cameras when I was 19. Holy %$&# I was a twit and I worked for a living. Trying to imagine having loads of money and fame as well as youth and looks…no. No. I wouldn’t have made it. The River Lethe welcomed me with open arms when I was around 38…took awhile for me to ‘grow up’. And yes I was that friend. Darn it.


    • If there was internet and camera phones when I was younger man seriously. If I had $$$ and fame I would have been a total douche, being broke and struggle kept me humble, and my parents collection of belts. Im not sure why we expect so much from a 19 year old. LOL im glad you found that image “touching” lol your awesome lol


      • Poor lil’ Bieb’s. I was a total douche even without money. My parents used the belt too. I never really cared for it but whatever…I still stole my brothers Tonka trucks. To hell with the Barbie Dolls.


  4. Nice post. I totally agree with you. I just had this conversation with some friends the other day who were berating Beiber. I had to kindly remind my friends of all the stupid shit we once did. I can only imagine what would have happened to me if I had the money and fame he has.


  5. Great post man. And incidentally, I had millions of pounds, fame and the rest when I was 19. And I did actually snort lines of cocaine of a midget’s anus. But I was wearing a Superman outfit and the steel dildo was hanging out of my arse… You’re right, people need to cut Bieber some slack.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s