Epic Rant || The Grammy’s are to Music ….

What bullets are to positive mental health ….


When someone asked me why I didn’t watch the Grammy’s last night, I responded: “If I wanted to see a plot-less show filled with lasciviously dressed women, boring dialogue, and a bunch of men past their prime pretending to be relevant, I would have watched porn. At least I’d have a little something to show for it, when the show was over.

I don’t mean to get off on a rant here but Holy Shit ! – the Grammy Awards are the antithesis to music. The Grammy Awards are one stage in the life cycle of product placement. This is how it works:

  • Music executive gets a data scientist to analyse the industry for the hottest trends
  • They then support artists who align with what the data shows
  • Then if the predictions are correct and profits are in the positive they have a celebration (circle-jerk) to congratulate themselves and force the images of these performers on the public subconscious for the next album.

Sometimes it so happens that the artists chosen are talented but quite often they are not. How many artists out there can you see putting out a great acoustic album: Katy Perry? Brittney Spears ? Selena Gomez? Miley Cyrus ? Look at what living legend Patti Labelle had to say, about the word Diva


That word is used so loosely that I don’t even consider myself a diva. I always considered myself a woman who sings her heart out and who gives 120 percent. “Diva” is a word that I wouldn’t wanna call myself because it’s so loosely used. It’s not cute anymore …[…].. all these little heifers who can’t sing are called divas!

Grammy Highlights

Here are some highlights from Grammy’s:

  1. Beyonce, Jay Z Open Grammys 2014 With Sexy “Drunk in Love” Performance
  2.  Madonna Performs “Same Love” With Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Mary Lambert
  3.  Taylor Swift Dances, Rocks Out to Kendrick Lamar, Imagine Dragons’ Grammys Performance
  4.  Katy Perry Dresses Like Witch, Gets Burned at the Stake During “Dark Horse” Grammys 2014 Performance
  5.  Taylor Swift Headbangs Violently Singing Jake Gyllenhaal’s “All Too Well” at 2014 Grammys: Watch Video
  6.  Beyonce Wears a Sheer Gown with White Detail to the 2014 Grammys After Performance
  7.  Beatles Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr Reunite to Perform “Queenie Eye”

How many Home Health Care aides where waiting behind the curtains when Paul McCartney and Ringo Star hobbled their way to a lack-luster reunion.  I bet you all the toilets at the Grammy’s had handles on them. When the geriatric get together in a nursing home it’s called a spill waiting to happen, not a fucking reunion.  Then again when your like Paul McCartney and  you look like you don’t even know where you are,and you’re just happy because there are shiny things and bright lights all around you, peeing on yourself is the least of anyone’s worries.


Speaking of shiny things, what is our obsessions with shiny sparkly dresses. Every time I hear a description of these dresses I feel like I’m at a telethon for one of Jerry’s kids. Are we that mentally deficient that of all things we focus on  shiny things? (How is this not objectifying women?) Every 40 secs someone commits suicide. Also every 40 seconds during Grammy coverage I hear about some flashy shiny dress that shows off some cleavage. Think about it, do some math.

Madonna performs in much the same fashion as my sphincter after 32 years of constant employment: ever more un-interestingly. I am more interested in Madonna when she is not performing. Jay-Z and Beyonce performed Drunk in love. Why should I be impressed, many couples who gave birth to children they put up for adoption performed both drunk and in Love in the back seat of cars.Taylor Swift and I had a one night stand and she wrote a song about it. It was originally titled: “If You were Famous I could have gotten money for you going deep inside me.” I give you a hint which song is marginally about me look at this lyric:

download (1)

Misty morning comes again and I can’t
Help but wish I could see your face

Finally let me leave you with some authoritative comments:

It’s not just the ‘Grammys’ that I’ve pulled out of. I also pulled out of the English awards as well. The reason that I wanted to pull out was because I believe very much that the music industry as a whole is mainly concerned with material success.
Alanis Morissette

Whether it be Beyonce or Justin Bieber, we see singers who have absolutely nothing to offer anyone as they walk off stage clutching three Grammys in each hand.
Steven Morrissey


  1. I LOVED Metallica and Willie Nelson and the boys did great. boy did they look stoned to the bone but Willy can still write and play like an angel. Imagine Dragons were great too. Daft Punk? love ’em. When I was a kid I’m sure people thought it was horrible to listen to the Monkee’s but I loved them. Then there were the Spice Girls or whoever…Nowadays they think Beiber is horrible. Every generation has their cross to bear.


  2. I’ll stick with the bands that no one has ever heard of playing the small rooms downtown. What I saw of the grammys was a whole lot of “who the hell are they?” and “dear god, what is that sound???”


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