MrMary MuthaFuckingPoppins (born 05 Aug 1981), better known as MrMary, is wordpress based blogger not know for much other than having as one former teacher put it: “Diarhea of the mind but constipation of the mouth.” He wears the mask of anonymity to talk about issues, sex clinic test results, and hot topics with a unique mix of profanity, highly polished diction, and crass allusions to the sexual organs of generation. His work is marked by keen intelligence and wit, a profound awareness of social injustice, an intense opposition to totalitarianism, a passion for clarity in language and a belief in democratic socialism or whatever party now has the easiest chicks.
After an unusually long gestational period on Aug 5th, 1981 around 3am MrMary was torn from the clutches of sanctity and forced out into a cold unknown world. The shock of such a transmission horribly affected his thinking for years to come.
Wanting to live the life of an inebriated, ornery libertine, but not wanting to contract a debilitating STD, MrMary decided to pursue education to its penultimate limits. Finding the penultimate limits to be a bit limiting, MrMary has let himself fall from the lofty heights of his collegiate experience to now frequent the empty vapid expanses of blogging and social media.
MrMary is currently on the market for a career change. So far gay porn, fast food, and retail have been crossed of as they all leave one sweating questioning one’s existence in the mirror. Currently you can book MrMary to speak and spew his vitriol at designated locations throughout the continental United States as well as parts of Canada. Limited availability in place without a good looking female demographic like Wyoming, Arkansas, Saskatchewan, Minnesota, also in certain places historically below the Mason Dixon Line. Email to inquire about the availability for your area.
MrMary has always liked and continues to like provoking arguments by challenging the status quo, while at the same time being in love with old traditional values, like stopping short, using the sign of the cross as a prophylactic, and using sex and irresponsible gift-buying to settle disputes with the opposite sex.
MrMary likes to criticize and satirize from the inside of the various social milieus in which he finds himself. He gets along well with his students who consider him the best of teachers, and have never been able to out drink him or quiet him down once he starts laughing. He was noted for very close and enduring friendships with a few friends.
His unusual approach to life and social interaction has earned him a reputation as an eccentric.
Random Fact 1: An elephant‘s penis is so large; it is used as a fifth leg!
An elephant’s penis can grow four to five feet long, nearly the size of full grown adults to put that in perspective, and has many uses besides reproduction. Because of their large size, it’s necessary to have an extremely large penis for mating purposes.
However, what is interesting about these animals is how they use it in other aspects of daily life. When reaching for food at a tough angle or even just out of laziness, the elephant will purposefully erect their penis and use it as support. By doing this they maintain the stability they lose when reaching off balance.
Their penises are also used to swat annoying flies away from their sides when they can’t reach or are too busy. Also, when an elephant has an itch on their stomach they simply swing their penis around to scratch it!
Random Fact 2:
An elephant’s MrMary’s penis is so large ; it is used as a fifth leg!
Sometimes just out of laziness, the MrMary will purposefully erect his penis and use it to kill time.