Last week while teaching my grad course in the same classroom where I took most of my undergraduate courses, I was overcome with nostalgia and sheer awe. It was a surreal experience.The students were so doe-eyed and innocent, they really cared. No one fell asleep, students asked questions I was shocked. At one point I broke out into laughter because of the memories of some crazy stunts I pulled. I thought I’d share my infamous microbiology lab fiasco.
Keep in mind that 1.5 people who apply for a faculty position with a PhD get the position. I have been teaching this course I designed for 5 years now online and then in the classroom. I have acheived a decent amount of success teaching which always puzzles me as I was the biggest class clown/dick.
The Lab Experience
We have prepared petri-dishes each divided into 4 parts, we had to go and sample various environments, and grow the bacteria from those environments. Typically students picked doorknobs, the coffee machine, the ice machine, elevator buttons. I didnt want to do what every else was doing, I am an originator after all
So I thought what to do that would spice it up. Then I had an epiphany. I myself am an environment. There are natural bacteria that live on and in human beings why not swab myself.
Once I heard the term in my mind “Swab myself” I knew I had hit creative pay-dirt. So I told my lab partner he found it funny and off we went separate to procur the samples. My four samples were:
1. Generic Nutsack Swab
2. Dick Swab
3. Right Nut
4. and the typical CSI cheek Swab
It was an impersonal omage to oral orifice plundering.
__________
Long story short everyone’s plates had to be destroyed. I believe that bacterial found on the human body were never meant to be cultured and cultivated. Unfortunately no one was smart enough to say this in the directions or in class. Now if and when that lab is done, especially if by the same teacher he has to tell the class not to swab their private parts and though the human body is a diverse environment not to use it for the lab.
So THAT’S what you do when you’re not blogging! Swabbing your ballsack!
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LOL I spit out my beer when I read that, grants its 8:36 am but you got me lol. I pulled that stunt years ago when I had hope and thought life was gonna work out lol. Now I don’t swab anything lol , self swabbing isnt what it used to be in the earlier days of puberty.
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hahaha oh mr mary. You are a swell dude.
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Why thank you, while swelling and being a dude go together I’ve always imagined there was something special about the way I do it. Thanks for the confirmation. Your pretty awesome yourself !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is so hilarious. And also sweet – I miss the days of being an innocent student who cared so much about I wasn’t sure what.
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Its so crazy homey, they like really care and they really ask questions it really is like the tears of a unicorns or something so sacred and holy that its unreal
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Hahahaha! Nicely done. And of course they care – YOU’re teaching!
What other class will suggest to swab their scrotum?
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“That’s how you get deez here, parked in yo mouf”!!
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I didn’t know that a nutsack swab could only be generic….. @__@
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