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Yoga

Who do these Buddhist think they are?


Yoga

As big corporations embrace meditation, some Buddhists fear their religion’s being co-opted by elites

Powerful, well-funded institutions want to invest in Buddhism. They’ve been eyeing the neighborhood for ways to manage employee stress and put a more compassionate face on free trade. The only question is whether the current tenants will band together to disrupt them. Buddhists now fear their religion is turning into a designer drug for the elite. Some are fighting back against this trend. “Just like the gentrification of a neighborhood where new, wealthy people displace people who have lived there longer,” Ream writes, “the dharma is undergoing a process of gentrification in San Francisco today.”

All of this started when, a couple of people armed with yoga mats, pungent body-order and self-righteousness stormed the Wisdom 2.0 conference. If you didn’t know, this conference is an annual gathering of life coaches, tech elites and spiritual teachers  billed as a “conversation about the merging of wisdom and technology,” and topics range from mindful business and leadership to social entrepreneurship and innovation. “Most of the workshops offer lifestyle and consumer choices that are meant to help people heal from the harm, emptiness and un-sustainability associated with living under capitalism, but [they do so] without offering an analysis of where this disconnection comes from,” Amanda Ream, one of the disruption’s organizers, writes in a blog post for Tricycle Magazine explaining why she disrupted the conference. “The conference presents an evolution in consciousness of the wealthiest among us as the antidote to suffering rather than the redistribution of wealth and power.” 

Here’s the thing

business-meditation2Religion is a tool. It is a means to an end and usually that end is sectarian violence; or accepting to live in a deplorable situation now because in some  strange afterlife you will be front of the line for all the rides in heaven. Yes there are some people who have used religion to help others  or as a disciplinary measure to calm their zeal for life just till it’s tepid and uninspiring, but the exceptions do not define the rules!

Who do these Buddhist think they are, Do they feel that Buddhist is special, do they think that it is not doomed to lead to sectarian violence like the Buddhist monks in Burma terrorizing Muslims ? I would even be willing to that religion is like a loaded gun in a safe.  It takes someone to come in pick up the gun and use. Since when have human beings not been vengeful, ignorant belligerent. The Tech Industry cares about $$$ not people. 

Buddhist and meditation and all that fancy shit is one way to squeeze more juice out of the employee. 

Whaddya think?

MrMary

A Week of Humorous Reflections about Relationships : The BroApp !!!


I often wish I had the power of a pretty women without having to have the operation. I could do magical things like:

  1. listen to Beyonce’s latest album and enjoy the songs,
  2. say the dumbest asinine stuff at the bar and have people pretend they’re still listening to me
  3. and most importantly, turn a common cellphone into a tools of torture.

Picture your busy at work and  at about 10:30AM a barrage of text messages come your way.

What are you doing? Where are you ? You work too much ? When are you coming home? Do you miss me ? What are  we doing this weekend  ? Oh You Had Plans with your friends ? Why do you still hand out with Tommy ?   Wouldn’t you rather stay home with me and watch some bullshit movies that you would only watch under torture ? Did you take out the garbage ? Why do you always forget to do that ? You know what else you have forgotten? 

Nagging, it’s something we have all experienced and some thing no one likes. In most cases nagging is the result of a breakdown in communications. However I have never seen my female colleagues friends have to run to their cell phone and respond to a laundry list of text messages. I also took count my superiors wife calling him 10 times on the office phone and 7 times on his cell phone put in his office drawer. It was sad to hear him apologize excessively outside our office and hear him explain that at work we do work, especially when reapplying for grants that will guarantee that we continue to get paid.

Every guy I know has experienced this once. You have plans to see friends and your ball and chain calls you up and demands that you drop everything to stay with her. She is well aware that you had plans but if you really loved her, you’d come over to her place instead.

The broApp  to the Rescue

For some bros it can be extremely tasking to adequately balance their time between their girlfriends and bro activities like lifting, video games, broing out, and chilling with the bros. This is a common bro-blem. Bros genuinely cares about their partner but for some reason sometimes accidentally forget to talk to her all day.

Luckily fellow bros share your pain and created the BroApp to bring an end to this bro-lemma.

With BroApp, you can spend as much time with the bros as you want while pre-selected thoughtful, sweet, and heart-felt text messages are sent through the app to your girlfriend during times of your choice that remind her you’re always thinking about her.

Texts include:
Hey babe, how was your day?
:x
Hey babe, what are you up to tonight?
Miss you :)
Hey babe, i’m leaving work now

If the bros who created the BroApp didn’t properly capture the way you communicate with your girlfriend (or lack there of), you have the option of customizing and adding your own messages.  

Every bro surely knows the importance of not getting caught in the act, which is why the app also has certain safeguards preventing your girlfriend from ever knowing.

You can choose which Wi-Fi networks are not bro-friendly so the app doesn’t send her an automatic text when your both on the couch at her house. Also the bros claim they have a way to disguise the BroApp on your phone so she can never detect it.

As always bros prevail for their fellow bros and the BroApp is here to help any member of the bro community who need bro-sisstance. 

Realistically

4b59915ecce0dee4bfa3f60680308695e4491ea42d23781bb3f10bd043621643I tend to hate people who use the word bro, and this whole “bro” culture. I’m more of the early 80’s Hulk Hogan Brother. But this app is as cool as it is ridiculous. It makes relationships seems like Word War 2 we have people in computer labs trying to give someone a defense against an entrench, superior emotional onslaught. In stead of code breakers we have code writers, but according to the comments sections on a lot of BroApp articles, the devastation of young men in their prime is the same.

All I can do is laugh. and call to mind T S Eliot’s poem The Hollow Men below. What do you think about the BroApp is it really that serious ? You know there will be a corresponding Sista/girlfriend/AllMySingleLadies/App ,what do you think it will do

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

No Need to Satirize Much || Pastor Bans Women From Wearing Any Underwear in Church


rihctblxdihvdufd0wgmReverend Njohi said women who attend his services at the Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in Nairobi are forbidden from wearing bras and underwear. Njohi said when going to church, people need to be “free in body and spirit” so they can receive Christ.

In what is turning out to be a major policy change geared both coming to terms with the changing times and repairing the image of Christians, pastors and minister will attempt to sodomize and sexually abuse women of age. In further support of this, is the fact that men do not have to free-ball in Church. No longer will you have to teach your children alternate ways of escaping the vestry with their dignity, and anuses intact. Instead you will have to teach you female child to put razor blades in her vagina like the Vietnamese prostitute did in Nam.

The pastor added there would be grave consequences if his female members did not adhere to the new rule, which was reportedly adhered to as most women are said to have attended the next service with no underwear.

MrMary Weighs In

It is clear that there is at the heart of this matter a big misunderstanding. The Sodomy scandals that rocked the Catholic Church are a perfect example. The priests there clearly didn’t understand what the line from Matthew 19:14 meant: “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me”. In this case the misunderstanding a little more subtle. Generally when a woman, in the heat of climax shouts: “Oh God Oh God” it’s not because she is feeling Jesus.

Don’t believe me ? – Just ask around or do some research as I have done  and (consensually, this is key) bed an atheist women. Her testimonies to God are more like a codified demand to be plunged deeper and deeper into some existential satori, where all forms of creation and demands dissolve away into no-thing-ness.

I am not a religious man and I don’t understand what an uncovered vagina has to do with Christ but, I can clearly see this pastor banning women from coming to church one Sunday a month because if I know anything about pastors it’s that they are cheap and won’t install the tampon dispensary in the lady’s room no matter how many times it comes up in church meeting after Bible study.

“Gott ist tot”