Why WordPress’s Freshly Pressed Is a Sham – Exposing the dreamworld we believe to be real.


This is the best the American education system can do - Rachel Mindwiller does the splits during the final round of the Booty Shake Off on one of the various stages set up on Panama City Beach. The beach typically gets 200 thousand visitors during college spring break every year. "The Splits"

When I think of something being freshly pressed I think of the dog walkers in our neighborhood who don’t pick up after their dog, or Spring Break Panama City Florida. I never drank so much Orange Juice and immorality. But that’s not why I am here writing when I should be watching the water boil for my pasta – office party chicken ranch pasta salad – its to die for.

I’m here because I am exposing WordPress well liked and popular feature “Freshly Pressed” to be an ingenious sham geared at pulling wool over your eyes. But I being the intrepid person hiding behind the computer  and going to expose the dreamworld you believe to be real.

Deconstructing WordPress’ Freshly Pressed

its not easy pretending to be a republican – one has to learn to walk with one’s anus clenched around a medieval tool of torture. Also one has always be on the search for someone else’s personal bias to exploit to one’s own advantage.  I had to hone this skill  very quickly while having the   spiked end of a mace firmly clenched between my once strapping and blemish free buttocks. It took me 12 second to pass out from blood loss and figure out WordPress’s Secret Freshly Pressed Bias.

Hidden Bias: Freshly Press only shows Happy go lucky stories and posting. Meaning they try to make you think that distilled social ineptitude and bitterness isn’t appreciated, or that we want fresh delicious baked good. There is more mind numbing cheer and smiles and happy bull&$%t on the freshly Pressed page than there is in a Kate Moss cocaine binge. Take a look at some of this!

Biggest. Sunflower. Ever.

Vika has a wonderful photo blog. The Images are really touching. I spent such a long time looking through her pictures, i even let go of my malcontent sarcastic misanthropic act. Really beautiful stuff.

Beautiful photo blog makes me wanna  get out my house  and see the world again. Check it out here

How the Oregon Trail Game is Akin to Life 

Cool Blog post. i played the game in elementary school. Lot of nostalgia. Sensical thinking very plain but impactful prose nice reflective tone. Love reading stuff like this. So far no vitriol no anger though

Continue reading about this sensical reflection on life here

New Zealand || Glacier

Stunning imagery. Makes me wish i did have college grad school and medical bills and pets to keep me tied down to where I am stare out the window at all the miscreants and homeless people scurrying around before morning really breaks and the sun rises

Check out more stunning pictures here

Advent, Christmas, Hanukkah, Welcome Yule! Interfaith Families Doing the Most

People coming together from different religious to celebrate to be together , cookies in the shape of the Star of David what’s not to like. At this point  I have become very optimistic about many things in my life.

Click Here to see this blog. –

Apricot-Plum Baked Doughnuts

Aside from the Devil or Al Qaeda who can resist doughnuts of any flavor? If my wife made this for me at home I would give it up  even if she made it all wrong. Its much better than coming home to a microwave pop tart after a long day work 2 jobs. Just the kind of festive reminder to cram my cramhole for the holidays with the people I love.

Click here to cream yourself for these doughnuts

CLASSIC POTATO LATKES (AND YOU TOO CAN CLAIM TO MAKE THE WORLD’S BEST LATKES)

Fried foods are kind of fucking awesome. My revitaligo – the disease where I get darker and darker, has made me very partial to fried food and grape soda. I deep fry my hands before I bite my finger nail (I stole that joke HA!!!) Now I can make latke!!! – Click here for some latke loving

Where did all the Realness Go

But where the sarcasm, where is the incessant fear based programming that lets me know that the little I thought I had is gone because incompetant leaders are trying to protect me from former payrolled guerilla fighters now turned terrorist and other shadowy people? I miss hearing how Americans like myself who think different are destroying the red white and blue. We all know that news is an incessant 24 hour meditation on evil fear and ignorance to make us so in fear of the whip  we no longer realize that the carrot has been taken away. We also do realize coincidentally that  a reward punishment system is sometimes an antedilluvian way to cattle and coral people into doing stuff.

So that why I am upset with WordPress. First they give me happy feel good stories all the time and that’s annoying. It’s like the Disney channel for neutered adults.  Wordpress’ Frreshly Press Dare to not inculcate fear, division and a blinkered view of  the world. Who do they think they are with there cool single letter logo!

Hot Articles from the NYTIMES today

That’s more like it  violence around the world, children naturally being unhappy,  power struggles, rampant joblessness, murder!!!! – Yes .

Syria Reported to Kill 100 on Eve of Visit by Observers Successor in North Korea Moves to Consolidate Power

8 Charged in Death of Fellow Soldier, U.S. Army Says Land of Good Bones and Deep Pockets

Consequences of not extending the payroll tax break and jobless benefits  Apps to Keep Children Happy

Their War at Home Iraqi Leader Threatens to Abandon Power-Sharing

So Until WordPress Freshly Presses me – hopefully concentually – I will continue to expose their  agenda to misrepresent reality. in the meantime click check out the blog and try to imagine how out of sorts I feel after tasting WordPress’ Freshly Pressed Nonsense. Then chase it down with the stories from the NY TIMES

-Mr Mary

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26 comments

    • Actually Rubbe

      (Btw what do I call you ? calling you rubbe sound a bit salacious) I got the inspiration i think either from you or from a comment on your page that said that wordpress was fixed and would never show something that wasn’t positive. I took the inspiration and ran with it. So thank you and your team of people 🙂

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  1. Wow, good call. You’re right – Freshly Pressed IS a load of “happy go lucky oh my gosh the world is so great RAINBOWS!!!!”. What I like about it is that it gives those specific bloggers an immense amount of exposure. And some of those people really deserve it, like the magical photo taking geniuses. Did you see those up close pics of bugs?! Holy hell that’s awesome shit.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I am looking forward to reading yours 🙂

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    • Hey Eyelaugh,

      Love your blog, behind all the snark and sarcasm of the page I am a softee. Your picture make me laugh out loud !

      It is a lot of the world is so great RAINBOWS and jazz hands, spice rice and everything nice kind of thing. I like that freshly pressed give some bloggers great exposure. I think it needs to be tweaked a bit. I am gonna devote sometime to come up with something funny. I love the pics of the bugs too!!!

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  2. I HATE Freshly Pressed…first, they have in their blog “how to get freshly pressed…” but that’s all bull shit because none of the blogs freshly pressed comply 100%. And it’s all crap – recipes, cutesy holiday tales, and peoples wonderfully photographed adventures that really only look nice because they used PhotoShop. A few months ago they had Freshly Pressed some guy’s three paragraphs about running from a bee when getting on the bus – something neither entertaining, nor blog-worthy. Finally, someone who agrees with me on this being a sham.

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    • Ms Schmidt,

      I thoroughly enjoy your comment !

      I have been blogging on WordPress for a few years and Freshly Pressed always gets me. Outside of commercials for feminine hygiene products I rarely see such importance placed on ‘Freshness’ which in this specific case is far from the mark.

      While I am all for escapism through interaction with what is subtly billed as a dynamic simulacrum of reality with its million of pages and thousands of blog posts per day, it should in some ways mirror reality. The blogs they feature which are actually inspiring and really make me pause from the vapid activities of the day are few indeed. I’m planning on posting more on this in the weeks to come. Maybe I will even make it into a campaign or movement: The Occupy WordPress Movement – I will sit surrounded by nature or a bowls of salad in meditative poses, what do you think?

      Mr Mary

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  3. You are touching a raw nerve. And answering some of my unasked questions about “how does one get freshly pressed”. I also believe putting a piucture / photo / graphics gives one additional points. And I always thought blogging was about writing !!!

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    • Yeah I think, it the new WordPress Bitch move to put in a crazy picture. WordPress definitely doesn’t care about writing they care about presenting a certain image as is expected as they are a business but I would expected the Freshly pages to be not so not so “Happy Go Lucky” Positive nonsense

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  4. Bias in the human world? On the streets? In your neighborhood? In your family? Bias in school systems? Bias in politics? Religion? Cultural and Ethnic bias? Entertainment bias? Art Bias? Bias in Love? Bias in Hate? And to this add bias on the Internet too, and on top of that our own beloved Words Freshly Pressed and squeezed to pulpy nutritional perfection!??

    I don’t believe it Mr. Mary. You must be mistaken.

    But mistaken or not be not mistaken that any desire to expose bias is itself often an exposure of one’s own bias. Does it matter that the entire world is biased sicne I too am biased? Shall I prove it by starting a campaign that is biased against bias? Hahahahaha

    No, I will write. Not with the intent of being freshly pressed, not with the intent of reaching a wide audience, not with the intent of becoming rich or famous, not with the intent of exposing the ugliness of the world as if it were not my own ugliness which has added to the accumulation of human bias and corruption, which has created the Freshly Pressed World of Bias which is nothing more than a group of decision makers who reflect my own distorted thinking, my own inner conflict, my own sickness and imposing violent nature and ego.

    I will battle, I will struggle to undo those egoic selves which are bias against bias and shall never give up despite all my failures in remaining neutral, in seeing the world with neutral eyes, without the tinted shades, not as I am but as it IS.

    Sorry for leaving this rant, but it had to come out. I liked this post…I like any piece of writing which inspires within me an unpredetermined flow of thought from moment to moment. As always, thanks Mary.

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    • I love the rant. Ranting builds character and reinforces correct posture.

      One can’t put out a fire with more fire, I think the same applies to bias, although I am not a political correspondent or pundit yet. I think it is impossible for a human being to be unbiased. Man is a political animal, I think what can be addressed is the extent to which we let those biases dictate certain actions and behaviors. I have always had a feel that were are more than just the biases and conditioned responses we exhibit but that is another story. I love pulpy Orange Juice to make mimosas – C’est magnifique as the French say.

      Ultimately I feel that I am human and have an ego for a reason, my job is to get it under control and order it around and not the other way. However at the moment we are both fixated on WordPress, Freshly Pressed, Gutenberg’s printing press, and using at a tool to speak for the windows so that the door can hear lol .

      You are the most awesome commentator Best wishes for the Holiday oh Courageous One!

      Mr Mary

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      • Well Mr. Mary, what would it take to make a human being totally and completely unbiased, if it were possible? That is to say, what prevents us from being totally neutral?

        And yes, you are a softie beneath it all, but oh I spilled the beans! 😉

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      • Mr MaryMythaFuckingPoppin – is an element of my personality amplified to insane proportions and projected out there in the internet. Truly all the world’s a stage, with that said I would love to quote Macbeth where he says:

        To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
        Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
        To the last syllable of recorded time,
        And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
        The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
        Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
        That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
        And then is heard no more: it is a tale
        Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
        Signifying nothing.

        though I am not as nihilistic I find comfort is playing the role(s) I do in the play. Provided I remember its a play and the costumes and snark come during intermission or after closing curtains.

        To answer your question: Death will make one completely unbiased as we know and understand bias to be. I imagine when I kick the bucket I wont prefer ice cream truck ice cream to Haagen Daaz, or strawberry frosted donuts to Boston cremes etc. Bias is unavoidable they are necessary to survival and how we operate when alive. There are some biases which over time in certain social context become a bit antiquated and obsolete, like racial bias or bias against Vikings or like primogeniture.Or sometimes those biases are subverted in their expressions and are articulated in a clandestine or surreptitious manner but that’s another story

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      • Yes, as long as the role you play doesn’t become your skin, but then we are so identified with our roles that we don’t realize they have become our skin, that is, we have become bias as that role has become us.

        So it is death which will end our bias. I think you are correct, though does it have to be physical death? Can it not be the death of the role which one no longer recognizes as a role but identifies instead as the ‘self’…the death of the self which is not but a role unrecognized as a mask playing out in an enviroment no longer recognized as a stage…that would end bias, I suppose.

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      • I feel personally that no matter how identified we are with our roles, no matter how much they have become our skin, there are still a plethora of moments that let us know that this isn’t the case. But we have become very adept at silencing and burying those moments under the noise of the everyday.

        I don’t feel that it is a hopeless thing. There have been many people in our history who have died completely to the illusion that they were they characters they played, that there was only the play before they were buried 6 feet under. I think its very possible for someone to do so now at this time of history despite all the challenges. Many mystics have talked about dying before the moments of one’s death. I don’t necessarily trusts mystics as they have a socialist bias, but from what I have seen it its more than plausible. I don’t think it is the self that dies or the ego, or the persona. Those things have a purpose and a use while we are here still alive

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      • I don’t know that the ego has a purpose, rather it is thought and reason which have a purpose. The ego is more like thought and reason gone awry, gone cancerous, fragmenting the whole of a being which is the same as multiplying roles/selves/skins causing us to become utterly mechanical so that we become “idiot[s], full of sound and fury,
        Signifying nothing…” our thoughts thinking us instead of us thinking our thoughts. Is that LIFE?

        If we can’t choose to stop thinking then are we choosing at all? Let us SEE this truth, look at it very deeply. SEE what it means. I wonder how many people are “many” who have truly shed the ego by realizing the simplicity of Life which exists only NOW. In any case, it’s a moot point really. What matters is not what another has realized but what I have the potential to realize, even if it is a potential or path so narrow that it is akin to “stringing a camel through the eye of a needle.” 😉

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  5. I love the way you view things… now how do I follow, Sorry I am a bit technologically challenged, it’s been too long since I managed a blog.
    i will eventually get this, keep on trucking, can’t wait for the new post 😀

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  6. Yeah it’s a bit disheartening sometimes when I write a balls out awesomely witty, funny post that gains a lot of traction amongst my followers and then I see some random pictures of a driving range and golf balls make it up there.

    And I don’t get the focus on images. It’s called WordPress not PhotoPress. If I want to see some cool photos Ill check out Flickr.

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  7. Love this, and am getting a kick out of your Bitterly Pressed parodies. Brilliant…I wish I’d have thought of that!

    That being said, I have to sheepishly admit that I was FP’d once. And I still agree with you. I’m not sure my stuff is all rainbows, but I haven’t gone over to the very dark side, at least not yet. The post that “made it” was one of my stupidest posts about boots, of all things. I tagged it with humor and fashion, and I made the fashion cut, of all things. Took hardly any time to write, while other posts that I put my heart into (kind of) have gotten no recognition at all. That is, other than the fact that actual people seem to like them, and the stats are okay. My picture wasn’t that great, but it wasn’t horrible. I have yet to see the FP pages again.

    I don’t spend a lot of time studying the Freshly Pressed posts because for one thing, those people are getting so much traffic, they don’t even notice you’ve been there. I check a few out every once in a while and I, too, see some of those FP rules being broken. I’ve seen misspelled words, poor grammar, and not too creative ideas. What I DO see are good photographs. One such post was nothing but a picture of a cat on a laptop with one sentence written with it. Great picture, but where’s the writing?

    There seems to be a definite randomness to what gets posted. In other words, you just get lucky. Perhaps your category fits into what they need. You posted at the right moment. Or again, it’s back to your image. The writing is secondary.

    What the FP page should be is a variety of rainbows, images, categories, essays, opinions, sarcasm, fun, politics, current events…you name it. Being there should mean something.

    Ok, I’m off my soapbox. Now I’m going to go see if you parodied my boot post. 🙂

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  8. I love your snark. I’ve been wondering about some of the freshly pressed stuff myself. I mean, yes, I do know a few bloggers who were “pressed” that are incredibly awesome, but most of it is just not that impressive. One I clicked on was riddled with typos and other errors. This same blog got a ton of positive comments, but one commenter gave a different point of view and he totally went off on her. What a jerk! She made some very good points and wasn’t critical at all. So glad they pick such winners there. Also, some people have been blogging for years and never gotten anything, and others, I swear they get pressed on their first post! What is up with that? And finally, I don’t like their “How to get pressed” post because it’s just as inaccurate as many writing classes. They say to never never never do certain things in your writing, and then what gets published? Twilight? 50 Shades? Seriously?

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