My Responce to The Fear of Fat by Laments &Lullabies Blog

I self-medicate through exercise.What that means is that I have spent sometime to really learn from and attune my ears to my body and there are certain propensities. I have physiologically  and psychologically that  are easier to deal with through exercise. For starters I have trouble sleeping, my mind is very active and unless I am physically tired I wont be able to fall asleep. Also  I find that regular exercise decreases the intensity and severity of my depressive episodes. Most importantly the healthier I am  the less I suffer from sickle cell disease.

I have almost a decade’s experience with dieting and lifting weights and consider myself very knowledgeable about health and nutrition. Earlier in the year when I started to take my training much more seriously I learned about the fear of fat and fat shaming this recent blog-post today really painted a vivid picture of things for me. I have a very off attitude. Most of the time I don’t give a shit about what people think about me,or how I am perceived. I have never felt myself to be un-worthy or viewed myself in a negative light.

It pulled at the heart strings to read things like

  1. Women who contemplate suicide because of fat.
  2. The people willing to trade a limb or 5 years of life for thinness?
  3. Shaming people into changing
  4. Every fat negative message was running through my head in a relentless loop.I AM LAZY. I AM IRRESPONSIBLE. I AM UGLY. I AM UNLIKEABLE. I AM A FAILURE. I AM A BAD PERSON. Over and over and over in my waking and dreaming life, I am not worthy.

I applaud Ms. Saradraws for posting something so personal and thought provoking. It exposed me to another side of things I hadn’t known about.

Thoughts Provoked

In our society there are clear socio-cultural biases when it comes to weight. The media reinforces it continuously and of course I don’t feel there the health institutions do much to address or bring to light these biases and as a result people suffer. So what to do then?  I wonder what is root cause aside from the typical hypocrisy and lack of education that one can expect to be the usual suspects.

I see that there are two issues here, there are the basic physiological concerns.There are clear correlations between elevated body fat percentages  and

  • cardiovascular health
  • Sleep apnea
  • Endocrine Functioning
  • asthma
  • osteoarthritis


But there is also the psychological ramification for people who are overweight. The issue is very complex, there is a gender  component to this. I see this issue affect more significantly more women then men. I was always there for my little sister, and my female friends to explain to her things like how BMI readings are not always accurate

The medical establishment has acknowledged major shortcomings of BMI.Because the BMI formula depends only upon weight and height, its assumptions about the distribution between lean mass and adipose tissue are inexact. BMI generally overestimates adiposity on those with more lean body mass (e.g. athletes) and underestimates excess adiposity on those with less lean body mass …..  BMI also does not account for body frame size; a person may have a small frame and be carrying more fat than optimal, but their BMI reflects that they are normal. Conversely, a large framed individual may be quite healthy with a fairly low body fat percentage, but be classified as overweight by BMI.

also like how fats are a good thing,they are called an essential nutrient for a reason and many other things. I have found in my own experience that more than anything ,what has helped some of MrMary’s friends has been just support and acceptance really. I think that this is very significant because as was reported: Body Image Issues Among Young Women More Influenced By Peers Than TV, Study Finds .

Anyways I’dbe happy to hear your thoughts on this and please give Saradraws some love on her blog



  1. Mr. Mary,
    I’m proud of my wife for raising awareness on fat shaming, while at the same time writing a post that is very personal to her. There are a great deal of misconceptions around “fat” and “unhealthy”, and I would invite you to discuss these misconceptions with Sara herself.

    This was an open minded post, mon ami. And I thank you for it.


    • Sara,

      You’re more than welcome. It always pains me to see people suffering. I am a big softie at heart and I have always felt that it iswrong todoor say anything that makes a person question there self worth as a human being. The Human spirit is a very fragile thing,and I think that is our most redeeming quality. If you would want to it be nice to explore this topic more,whatever you can say or share I am sure will help many others



  2. I read a study they did on children (I think 5-6 years olds) who said they’d rather lose a limb than be overweight. Last year I read a study done on middle-aged women who said they’d trade 20% of their income to be 10 pounds lighter. WHAT? It’s good to be healthy, but I think it goes to show how deeply engrained this mindset is.


    • Health is very important,but I think that people reduce health to just something physical.To be in good health one has to be balanced emotionally psychologically etc. The self image issues are clear indications that not only is one not healthy but that that particular mindset can derail one’s total health. There is no prosthetic for an amputated spirit, which is what these kind of mind sets do


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