I came into the Blogger Idol Competition just wanting to make a mockery of another competition. In doing so I received something greater than I’d ever hoped: a mandate from the Blogosphere. For too long sensibility and mediocrity had the blogosphere in a strangle hold. This was all until in November 2011 I established myself as a presence to be reckoned with.
Upon realizing what a dire situation we were in and how much you the people need me. I asked everyone to put aside the tenderness and good-will you have for me and vote instead for Edward Hotspur and my friend Heather and her infamous B(itch) Log. And like compliant subjects you complied. I am out of the race and focused more on serving your needs as I see fit, but while I tend to you and rest you away from banality’s nefarious designs, I need a champion that will go out and represent me. I need someone who by his example, sense of humor and tight-whitey crafted make-believe ninja masks will be the symbol of everything that is great about what I stand for and in turn what you stand for having given me mandate through your inaction.
There is only one man who can do this job. Only Edward Hotspur can be my champion and in turn your champion. Vote Edward Hotspur for blogger Idol 2012. If the other bloggers win they will unleash a terrible evil on the land, and the once verdant fields of imagination will be nothing more than a horrid wasteland.
‘He is a witty humorist. He’s been blogging from the dark recesses of the Internet for some years now, but he is not alone. There are others like him – some good, some not so good. For months, he has battled the forces of darkness, with the bedroom of easy women being his only refuge. He cannot make change, unless you take him afterwards to a Gas station to buy beer and in doing force him spend his singles. In the end, there can be only One Let it be Edward Hotspur, the BloggerIdol.’