When I first heard Blogger Idol I thought it was a joke. Then I realized it was a real thing. I saw how much fun people were having with it in particular Heather from the B(itch) Log and Mr Edward Hotspur. I didnt want to be left out of the fun so after a lot fo beer I wrote the following entry. I don’t want anyone of you to vote for me or do any of that crap. Rather vote for my fellow bloggers the B(itch) and The Hotspur (that title sounds like Hentai Porn), I’d be happy to vote for you too if you enter. You can follow on facebook or all that eh whatever makes you happy:
Gonzo Blogging. Many people use the term, but only one person (me of course) has the testicular intrepidity to walk that lopsided walk. In the last few months I’ve managed to effectively blur the line between my life and that of my fictitious on-line persona Mr. Mary MuthaFucking Poppins (Mr. Mary for short).
Words normally an agent for the transference of meaning are, in my gifted hands at least, a vehicle for its obfuscation. Outside of my own delusions, the blog is quite successful in that people read it. Under normal circumstances I’d call these people close friends and family. But today they are the subset of the planetary sentient protoplasm I’d like to call the Blogosphere.
I have tackled both the mundane and esoteric issues, using my own unique brand of wit, profanity, tales of my sexual escapes with the mothers of some of my readers and friends, and honesty. As far as titles go, I have been the recipient of many self-appointed titles. I’m the greatest Patriot of my Generation, the World’s first Post Post-Modernist, and the sexiest legs on WordPress. Awards? I’ve them in excess, to list them would be a mockery of this audition process.
Despite all the awards, titles and ladies I charmed onto the make-shift shiki-futon on the living room floor of my parents house, I am afraid I suffer from a key shortcoming that will for most part keep me out of contention for the coveted America’s Next Top Model Blogger Idol Award.
Frankly, people are small minded and I am fortuitously larger than life. When people hear of my exploits they cannot image that a man so noble in his reasoning , so angelic in his actions, and godlike in his apprehension could exist. Rather they choose to run from the truth. Ultimately the public won’t accept me no matter how consistently I take my lithium pills.
So then, you reading this are faced with a question: “How far will you go to promote genius that ultimately will only be appreciated long after it has died to the light of day and the impetuous grasping of feeble men?” I asked my faithful followers not to pester you with recommendations, tweets or comments on why it would be foolish not to bestow onto me the Blogger Idol Award. But by now you understand. The least you can do now is to visit the hallowed domain of my sovereignty and say a quick hello.