Be regular and orderly in your life like a bourgeois,
so that you may be violent and original in your work.
More than you will know working out is therapy for me. Actually I know when a depressive episode is coming because I cannot mentally make it to the gym. When I went to the gym I used to work out and train to the point of vomiting. I almost blacked out once. Clearly I didn’t work out to pick up chicks, because going that hard ( I mean working out not like erection) is not necessary to get a basic physique that will improve your chances with the ladies. Plus I find that guys that work out just to pick up chicks are incredible shallow and dumb, and usually deserved whatever they fish up out the polluted waters.
For a long time I was not allowed outside and rightly so. There were unfortunately I believe drug dealers living in our apartment building and my pops had to wrestle away one night an armed robber. The bullet luckily was fired into the ground and some fragment went into his foot. One day I opened a door for a kid my age when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade and he punched me dead in my stomach but I didn’t so anything or fall down. He said some shit to my face, and I just looked him in the eyes. I earned respect that day. Our next door neighbour’s son got caught up in a gang and one day was beaten and almost put into a comma. There were bullet holes in windows of the McDonald’s I used to go to as a child. A token Booth operator on the corner was set on fire once. This were I grew up. I feel like an old man at 31.
I have this idiosyncrasy where whenever I do something it becomes an obsession: writing , reading, working out,blogging, even sex ( which reminds me of a funny story about this time I put this girl through an IKEA bed – ah the good old days. Unless I get riled up about something, unless I feel challenged I cannot get into it. I’m told it is a Leo characteristic – whatever that means. It’s all or nothing which is sometimes not so good. This meant that in the gym I work out out till I threw up or sometimes almost blacked out. I would do drop sets, super sets all kinds of crazy shit most probably because life was a mess for me and I felt unnecessarily hard for no reason. It didn’t get any easier and the last 5 years are nothing short than nightmarish. A lot more stuff happened than what I wrote in my year anniversary post.
When I’m in the gym now am very focused and reflective. I do not talk much, now I train much more efficiently. I’m not as angry and it feel like its one of the only few places I feel at peace. I thought this was just me but my friend sent me this video about Kai Greene. He lives in the same neighbourhood I grew up in. I’ve been inside all these mutha-fucking stores. I thought I would share this with you and show you some scenes from the Brooklyn I know and grew up in. Kai is an interesting fellow. Check it out tell me what you think 🙂 I figure there are three parts to this video I figure I will post them and yammer a bit with each part.