I found an interesting graphic I wanted to chat/ yammer on about. But first here is the data
Marriage is a wonderful thing!
More than most other nationalities I’ve come into contact with, Americans seem to have the bizarre ability to gain ponderous amount weight rather quickly. You may be surprised but in the parts of America (historically below the Mason Dixon line) you can estimate the number of years a couple has been married by counting the cracks on the box spring’s centre beam.
But moving on, while nothing says love like being caught in the gravitational field of your significant other, this is not what I am here to talk about. I’m here to help you (those of your getting married on Valentine’s Day) navigate the treacherous waters you are swimming through the next four weeks.
Here are 4 things you need realize and internalize, and accept to make your marriage work:
In chemistry, the greater the stability of a molecule, the less reactive it is. Marriage as everyone says stabilizes you. While everyone says that your spouse is your anchor, what they don’t give you is proper context. Your spouse is your anchor in much the same fashion as cement shoes are an anchors for an enemy of the Mafia in the East River. If you make it past the two year mark you will find that you’ve lost yourself. You have no idea who you are or what you want from life. Your happy hour will be those 30 minutes you spend every morning in front of the mirror wishing your belt was longer and the shower rod was strong enough to support your weight.
It will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know, I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on. – Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot
As your relationship progresses in time, many of you will notice that your spouse (male or female) has come to have the same need for sex as that cabbage you have in the back of your fridge your parents in law left there when they came over to make soup for you but got side-lined by reality: fuck soup in the dead of Summer. You will rediscover the beauty of platonic relationships one KY jelly filled latex glove at a time
It’s amazing! As you progress through you profession you will find out that you have becomes more articulate, over the years. You may be able to manage a whole department of people, make executive decision that may cost or make your company millions of dollars but you cannot decide what to have for dinner and you cannot communicate about daily. It’s the tragic sense of irony that ultimately deals the last blow to life. What was once the paragon of animals, and in form and moving like a God will because naught but the quintessence of dust.
Good Luck !!! and ….
Not paying a woman the same rate as a man for the same job is fucked up. We should enjoy all the economic, legal, political rights regardless of our race, religious affiliation, gender, age or class. But …
But what about social conventions? Case and point – women and children first ?
Women and children first is a historical code of conduct whereby the lives of women and children were to be saved first in a life-threatening situation (typically abandoning ship, when survival resources such as lifeboats were limited).
According to my research: “Masculists characterize this as female privilege and male disposability while feminists characterise it as benevolent sexism and male privilege.” I personally have no freaking idea what this is, which is why I bring the question to you my readers.
I am looking to collaborate with a blogger who is well versed in feminism and women studies to have a conversation. There are a lot of grey areas that puzzle me, and it would be nice to talk to a human being (in particular a female) about these grey areas and get some clear ideas. If you can direct me or make suggestions let me know contact me firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment below.
BTW, as always I asked my lady for her opinion and she sent me this video linked below. Please keep in mind that this is a link to a comedian doing his act. If you have a sensitive sense of humor, (you’re still cool in my book) don’t watch. Also this topic was in part inspired by an interesting post by my home girl TarnsZ (the super hero blogger) called: Chivalry Is Dead, Long Live Courtesy.
I’m curious to hear from you. Here’s the video:
For those of you who do not know MrMary works in the field of scientific research. One of my main complains about working in research is that mote often than not it feels like an old boys club, but not the kind of boys I grew up with. In many sub disciplines of science there are very few women and the air is stale. I have always been a supporter of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), and more so brings in people who aren’t traditionally found in the field.
I think the world is facing many issues and we need as many brains on the issues as we can spare. I think now more than ever we need those who think outside the box and are creative. I saw this ad for the invisible helmet and found it really well done, really creative and well thought out. It was engaging too. I thought I would share:
Take a look what do you think.
Since I can remember there are three subject that when I talked about , that unleashed an unimaginable amount of chastisement and extreme reactions. I will list them for you here, and the responses I got 95% of the time:
The issue I have with every movement,(bowel movements excluded) well from what I have seen, is that after focusing so much on the differentiating the follower from those who would oppose them there is never a plan to integrate the various factions, to unify them as much as possible. From what I have read about the different waves of the feminine movement I have never seen any attempt to integrate men or other other perspectives. I feel that both sides at some point have to come together and put it all on the table like I did on a date once, actually that’s how I test to see if the tables are clean; any itchy or burning sensation more than usual tells me the table isn’t clean enough.
A lot of my friends (Caribbean-Black & Hispanic) grew up old school, which for us meant:
I think that my approach to masculinity was very different than a lot of my friends from prep school (who were mostly Caucasian), because of my Haitian heritage. I have seen that among my friends and acquaintances from post colonial or third world nations issues like body dismorphia, and gender identity for instance are not as prevalent as in the US and Western Europe. Of course I am basing this on a limited subset of people and my own personal observations.Nevertheless I felt that this quote would be a bit apropos
In the late twentieth century we face a crisis in masculine identity of vast proportion. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary science – sociologist, anthropologists, and depth psychologists – are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as much as it affects our society as a whole. Why is there so much gender confusion today, at least in the United States and Western Europe? it seems increasingly difficult to point to anything like either a masculine or a feminine essence.
I thought I would put out another Iron John Quote, that is related and pick up this thread later. This book was an interesting read but while I have seen a lot of what Bly depicts in my daily life, there are added dimension that of course he cannot comment on since he hasn’t experienced. I think post-colonial literature offers a real interesting counter image about masculinity and femininity. I think personally judging from the multicultural friends I have this issue has many deeper dimensions. Anyway here is the quote
During the fifties, for example, the American character appeared with some consistency that became a model of manhood adopted by many men: the Fifties male. He got to work early, laboured responsibly, supported his wife and children and admired discipline. Reagan is a sort of mummified version of this dogged type. This sort of man didn’t see women’s souls well, but he appreciated their bodies; and his view of culture and America’s part in it was boyish and optimistic. Many of his qualities were strong and positive, but underneath the charm and bluff there was, and there remains, much isolation, deprivation, and passivity. Unless he has an enemy, he isn’t sure that he is alive. The Fifties man was supposed to like football, be aggressive, stick up for the United States, never cry, and always provide…. During the sixties, another sort of man appeared. The waste and violence of the Vietnam war made men question whether they knew what an adult male really was. If manhood meant Vietnam, did they want any part of it? Meanwhile, the feminist movement encouraged men to actually look at women, forcing them to become conscious of concerns and sufferings that the Fifties male laboured to avoid.
There’s something wonderful about this development – I mean the practice of men welcoming their own ‘feminine’ consciousness and nurturing it – this is important – and yet I have the sense that there is something wrong. The male in the past twenty years has become more thoughtful, more gentle. But by this process he has not become more free. He’s a nice boy who pleases not only his mother but also the young woman he is living with…. but many of these men are not happy. You quickly notice the lack of energy in them. They are life-preserving but not exactly life-giving. Ironically, you often see these men with strong women who positively radiate energy. Here we have a finely tuned young man, ecologically superior to his father, sympathetic to the whole harmony of the universe, yet he himself has little vitality to offer…”