Jokes will be told here, if you cant handle that then do not read on
Why the Shock and Outrage ?
I was hurt by the responses to this sorority chick’s letter.
Supposedly no one else but me saw this as a win for feminism and equality. In this day and age why do we have to limit what a woman can or can’t do? Why can’t we love and accept her for being as one person put it: “A walking CDC site ?” If you are happy being you, and that involves routinely choking on a dick who am I to judge? Would you rather she be suffering from Anorexia and choking on two fingers instead? (Uhm that doesn’t sound right but…) The fairest thing any of us can do is to judge her actions (and post-coital euphoria) from the point of view of a recipient, because science, yeah.
Sadly we are too small-minded to see her sacrifice for what it really is: community service. Do you know how much focus and disregard for wrinkles forming on the corner of your mouth you need to be for lack of better word: a Dick Sucking Queen ?” If Malcolm Gladwell is right and it takes you 10,000 hours to master something then, how many dicks did she have top suck for that title? If we take into account the fact that according to the self proclaimed Queen of Fellatio (A small Italian Village ravaged by WW2) that she “ could suck dick for like 7 minutes, anything after that is too long”, then the number is astronomical.
We tend to laud people with that level of vision, dedication and focus who have entertained large segments of the population with their ball-handling skills, but yet in this case we do not? This smacks
off of hypocrisy.
Taking Away From a Feminist Victory
So many commenters have said that this must be written by a guy, as if women being above and beyond the temptations of flesh, are morally superior beings. I firmly believe that women can do everything just as well as a man. Women make great drug dealers, gang-members, thieves and murderers. You have to applaud the ingenious number of ways women have found to disposing of unwanted babies: garbage, dumpster, trash compactor, and cars at the bottom of a lake. So then tell me why can’t a women be proud to swallow? Why can’t we applaud her setting the bar high on promiscuous sexual activity. I mean look at these sagacious nuggets, I for reasons unknown and drawn to agree with:
- Spitting is for quitters. If you are one of those “classy” ladies who don’t swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat pussy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet ‘n’ salty mix like the real woman you are.
- Have sex.Have sex with as many boys as you can. Well, not exactly, check out their penis first. Dick pics are God’s gift to women. Make sure you inspect the goods before you let it penetrate you vagina.
- 7 minutes of Fellatio. You should have definitely made your man bust his load all in your mouth in 7 minutes. If you can’t achieve that, sorry sweetheart but you have better chances at becoming a lesbo than getting dick.
- What’s In a Name. Always have the upper hand, you don’t need to know his name to hop on his tic tac.
- Live your life by a double standard.
Looking at my past gf’s and chicks I have fallen out of sorts with living by a double standard is quite popular. But from now on any guy entering the meat market of love has some clear guidelines to follow. If she spits she isn’t a real woman. Also I can for one lucky lady bring her closer to God by sending her a pic of my schvance. I don’t know why this form of evangelization didn’t become popular during European colonialism? Nothing is better than a girl who appreciates that I have things to do. Seven minutes in heaven is better than 6 minutes in heaven. Now if only that applied to sex, but we are living by a double standard here.
Why are we so prudish? Why do we criminalize someone for shining a light on our darkness? There is a reason the casual encounter section of craigslist, or the back of the village voice or whatever magazine, has a W4X (where X = something or other type of gender). She is not being forced to do what she does by the patriarchal Illuminati that is responsible for every bad thing that happens to women. Those bastards responsible for how bra straps are designed to fall off the shoulder no matter how tight you make it and for forcing men to like high heels so that podiatrist will be gainfully employed by all the women who insist on buying and wearing them.
I saw we should applaud her, who’s with me ?