Satirical Video Paraodying Music Today

My nephew is coming to visit me with his gf next week. They are going to see a concert at a stadium next to us. When Tio Dave asked him what who he was going to see he told me EDC – The Electic Daisy Company.  I felt my age. I asked him what songs do they have and he told me: Tio Dave its a Festival there are a lot of artist headlining. I look at some of these artists and it was horrible. I don’t get it. This music video sums up  my feeling of today’s music, or at least the kind my nephew likes.

Btw here is the concert headline – what the fuck is this …


No Need to Satirize Much || Pastor Bans Women From Wearing Any Underwear in Church

rihctblxdihvdufd0wgmReverend Njohi said women who attend his services at the Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in Nairobi are forbidden from wearing bras and underwear. Njohi said when going to church, people need to be “free in body and spirit” so they can receive Christ.

In what is turning out to be a major policy change geared both coming to terms with the changing times and repairing the image of Christians, pastors and minister will attempt to sodomize and sexually abuse women of age. In further support of this, is the fact that men do not have to free-ball in Church. No longer will you have to teach your children alternate ways of escaping the vestry with their dignity, and anuses intact. Instead you will have to teach you female child to put razor blades in her vagina like the Vietnamese prostitute did in Nam.

The pastor added there would be grave consequences if his female members did not adhere to the new rule, which was reportedly adhered to as most women are said to have attended the next service with no underwear.

MrMary Weighs In

It is clear that there is at the heart of this matter a big misunderstanding. The Sodomy scandals that rocked the Catholic Church are a perfect example. The priests there clearly didn’t understand what the line from Matthew 19:14 meant: “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me”. In this case the misunderstanding a little more subtle. Generally when a woman, in the heat of climax shouts: “Oh God Oh God” it’s not because she is feeling Jesus.

Don’t believe me ? – Just ask around or do some research as I have done  and (consensually, this is key) bed an atheist women. Her testimonies to God are more like a codified demand to be plunged deeper and deeper into some existential satori, where all forms of creation and demands dissolve away into no-thing-ness.

I am not a religious man and I don’t understand what an uncovered vagina has to do with Christ but, I can clearly see this pastor banning women from coming to church one Sunday a month because if I know anything about pastors it’s that they are cheap and won’t install the tampon dispensary in the lady’s room no matter how many times it comes up in church meeting after Bible study.

“Gott ist tot” 


Reminisicing || On March 2, 1889 The Fate of Native Americans were sealed


On This Day (3/2/1889): In 1889 after years of trying to open Indian Territory, President Grover Cleveland signed the 1889 Indian Appropriations Act which officially opened all Native owned “Unassigned Lands” to white settlers via homestead. The initial land area amounted to 1,887,796.47 acres (2,949 miles² or 7,640 km²), however, soon other “unassigned lands” throughout the American West were opened to white settlers. These “unassigned lands” were considered as such because no Native person was directly living on them (i.e., had built a house, or had “improved” the land by constructing fences or planting crops). The U.S. government failed to consider that Native people regularly and cyclically used and resided on these lands when the appropriate season arrived and the resources were plentiful. This land rush has come to be known as the Oklahoma Land Rush of 1889 or the Sooner Rush.

We’ve all known that American Dream is someone else’s nightmare, we all saw Tom Cruise in Far and Away. The more of his movies I suffer through watching, the richer and more influential he becomes. The Indian Appropriate acts (of which there were a few,the 1889 was the last one) lead to the formation of the reservations.

Let Me Tell You About the reservations

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

About 40% of our country’s 4.9 million Native Americans live on reservations  where the living conditions are “comparable to Third World.” 1 out 3 Native Women will be raped in her life of course there is the systematic failures of the judicial system both in and out the reservation.

Our Native people are in very very bad shape. Some psychologists and historians have said that: “the abuse of Indian women and children can be traced to the introduction of  unnatural life ways into Native culture. Scholars support this idea and suggest that violence against American Indian and Alaska Native women directly relates to historical victimization. According to proponents of this idea, domination and oppression of native peoples increased both economic deprivation and dependency through retracting tribal rights and sovereignty. Consequently, American Indian and Alaska Natives today are believed to suffer from internalized oppression and the normalization of violence.”

Just something to think about  next time you cheer the redskins on, or support the name of military weapons after a decimated people.


MrMary –

BTW have you seen this commericial ? And is anyone of native American Heritage a reader of this blog ?

download (4)

A Week of Humorous Reflections about Relationships: Beyonce & The Concept of Independance

relationshipsLet’s get some thing straight: human beings are a social animals. There is no independence if you live in society. (Unless you’re living in a forest hunting your own food and building your own shelter out of nature abundance.)

There is no independence in a relationship. You depend on your spouse/significant other/live-in boyfriend emotionally spiritually, physically, etc and he does you. If you don’t need your husband’s money that’s great. In reality there is no greater aphrodisiac than a women who is going to buy me shit for my birthday and bullshit holidays, take me on vacation or fly me out to exotic location so I can give it up, and go halfsies on the rent or mortgage payments. I forgot my favorite: get me jewelry when anniversaries come and go.

Oh You Didn’t Know ?

Let me break it down for you.

If I depend on you for something, it is up to you to not be a dick about it. Let me give you an example. After I or any dude commits to a chick, implicit to that commitment is a promise we wont be sticking our dick in another chick without your permission or participation. He’s caught now in a trap. You can choose to with-hold  sex from your partner because:

  1. you didn’t like his attitude
  2. he called your best friend a cunt
  3. he doesn’t tell you he misses you when you corner him as he just gets home

and the list goes on ….

As a guy, I can choose to not communicate because you are draining the will to live out of me with your nagging questions, feeble attempts to change me, and turn me into a pet with your always needing to be validated bullshit.

This is what human beings do. Men are just as fucked up as women. The sooner we accept that we are all assholes the sooner our relationships can improve.

d5361f5fc7f5a7b1bcad8c1e2a80034dWhen Aristotle said Man is by nature a political being he wasn’t talking about the penis carrying card members of the world, he was talking about humanity. Sometimes ladies I am sure you can agree, your guy is a fucking douche. He doesn’t pick up after himself. He is non-communicative and he doesn’t treat you like you’re a fucking princess when you wear that Burger King crown on your head at home. Guys, from what you say at the bar, from what my guy friends tell me, it’s clear there are many times where your ladies is the biggest cunt on the planet. Right? This isn’t rocket science. Human beings are nasty to each other, ask a/an

  1. Native American
  2. Jewish person whose relatives were tortured and burned in WW@
  3. Chinese person about what the Japanese did to them
  4. Algerian how the French treated them when they wanted independence?

So with that said

I loved Destiny’s Child. I like Beyonce. She is entertaining. I learned a lot from her. First she wowed me with her “Can you pay my bills”. Then she pulled me in closer with Independent Woman. Finally she had the power to not only upgrade me but to do for me what Martin Luther king Jr did for the people. Who can forget when she told us you don’t even have to love a girl to marry her? If you just like it, put a ring on it.

All the women with self-respect I know view these songs as garbage, simple entertainment for a generation that has lost touch with reality.

Let’s Talk Independent women Shall we ?

Harriet Fucking Tubman. She was so independent, she helped a sea of people find independence. She didn’t need a song or some fucking choreographed steps to let people know that she was independent. The greatest Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, didn’t need  a song, or her dad to make her the lead singer of a group where she wasn’t the hottest chick. She didn’t need all mammas rockin dollazs to throw theirs hands up at her. I could mention Nobel Prize Winning Marie Curie or maybe even Corazon Aquino (look her up).

Let’s Wrap it Up

download (4)Beyonce needs someone to Say her Name, which to me is incompatible with being an independent women. She also needed a Soldier  too after her stint as an independent woman, probably to pay for shit again like during the bills-bills can you pay my auto-mo-bills era. I believe her words were:

We like them boys up top from the BK
Know how to flip that money three ways 
Always riding big on the freeway 

I will let you in on a secret, people who really are whatever they profess to be don’t need to talk about it or write songs. The toughest guys aren’t the guys running around saying they are tough. You want to know a woman artist who I respect infinitely more than Beyonce? Ms Mary J Blige.

Hip-Hop diva Mary J. Blige smacked her husband for checking out a waitress  “She said, ‘You ain’t going to go Chris Brown on me, are you?

It’s A Wrap

download (1)

What It’s Like @32 || Sex



” I dedicate this to all the pretty girls, All the pretty girls, in the world
And the ugly girls too, Cause to me your pretty anyways baby”
~The Old Dirty Bastard


The Beginning

I remember the first time I had sex.

It was in a hotel near Grand Central Station. My collaborator was beautiful beyond words. She was German from Munchen, blond hair, blue eyes and about 5’11. We had grown close over the last 3 months and it was finally going to happen. Fast forward a few awkward but tense moments later, and I’m there standing face to .. uhm… (face) ? with a Vagina, and in my heart all I could say was: oh my god, oh my god, I’ve seen all your movies… I loved you in Forced Entry!  Not only was I going to have sex. No, no no! I was going have sex with a celebrity; a superstar in her own right as vagina is loved throughout the world.

Youthful Idealism

images (1)Seriously, now when I was younger sex was like the ambrosia of Greek myth: it was enticing, mysterious and completely inaccessible.Ten to twelve years later after my first time much has changed about my relationship with sex. Did you know that doggy-style is a gender oppressive and hyper-masculine or heteronormative tool used for the oppression for women? I found that out the hard way, reading late one night when my internet connection wasn’t fast enough for me to get any, from myself of course because that’s what marriage is long stretches of rubbing one out with the occasional lackluster participation of a second party.

When I was young I thought sex was fun. It was for me an expression of love (or lust) shared between two people. Turns out sex is the reward in the operant conditioning used to make sure that the garbage gets taken out regularly, and the dishes  are cleaned dried and put away  right after every meal. Sex has fallen from the higher ranks of a pleasure to more plebeian standings. Sex is an ingratiating need. What I thought would stay a wild and untamed descent into hedonism has since become lobotomized and domesticated. The American bedroom is very much so the table in T. S. Eliot’s opening stanza of the Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock:

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

Now @32

download (2)Sex @ 32 theoretically, can be amazing still, in much the same way the Mets can be relevant in a discussion about the post-season. When sex is amazing, it’s because it’s happening more often than the return of the Hale-Bop comet and isn’t being used as a tool to crush someone’s soul or get them to pretend they want to be around you.

Now when I am allowed to have sex [and not just because someone has taken pity on me because I’ve been starved like those stray dogs you see on those adopt a pet infomercials late at night] it’s amazing ! (when it happens) Why you ask, because

  1. I lock away my self-respect in a mini-storage place
  2. I’ve Accumulated enough sick days at work so I can fuck without worrying about tomorrow
  3. I do a lot of dead-lifts in the gym
  4. I know my body has changed

Oh you didn’t know?

A man’s body goes through changes in his thirties while I still work out and am active I am not the same athlete I used to be in my early 20’s. I need to expend more energy to produce at the same rate as I used to before. Compare a veteran Kobe Bryant to rookie Kobe Bryant. For Kobe to play  as a rookie now it would require him to expend more energy. But injuries and playing so hard so often has taken a toll, so he plays smarter. So with changes in body come changes in mind set. My current mind-set is to remove my mind from it completely, let biology do it’s thing

download (1)Human beings tend to think that because of our advanced technology we are not animals. We like to think that we have subjugated that animalistic part of ourselves. Until you throw in some drinks, a long weekend, and a long drive anywhere and all shit breaks loose figuratively ( or literally if that your fetish).

When I have sex I put all that reading, and political discourse aside, and let biology take its course which means I am trying to recreate with my lady friend the ambiance of sybaritic revelry and orifice plundering that got the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed. If I don’t feel a ting of shame, or embarrassment, or soreness, or the want to take a shower, eat a Steak burrito from Chipotle, and seek forgiveness then I wasn’t true to myself.



But it’s not all savagery, nature is compassionate too and completely indifferent at times. Sometimes the best part of sex is the talking afterwards. Other times the best part of sex is thinking about the next time you get it which will be on your bday 6 months away, while you really enjoy a sandwich.

So what’s sex like at @32?

Let me give you an analogy

In chemistry the more stable a compound becomes, the less reactive it is. Chlorine is very reactive it was used as a weapon in WW2. It can react with almost any other element out there and form something. You put it together with Sodium which isn’t so reactive unless it’s in pure H2O and you get table salt. And that sums up sex at 32 in a committed relationship. Sure I’m not as volatile, I am not running nude through the streets of Bensonhurt, or on the E train with my pants unbuckled looking for trouble (long fucking story, my date thought she could issue a dare that I would back down from that didn’t involve me losing my life). I’m table salt now, with the memory of what it used to be like as a chlorine.

I will never be as active as I once was but stability counts for something right? I have been table salt now longer than I was a chlorine looking to start some shit. And as much as I like it, it’s not my true nature. So finally sex is a metaphysical punishment: it feels great, but reminds of the freedom I used to have, while at the same time, making me realize how I couldn’t handle that much freedom if it was returned to me.

For no Reason