A Week of Humorous Reflections about Relationships : The BroApp !!!

I often wish I had the power of a pretty women without having to have the operation. I could do magical things like:

  1. listen to Beyonce’s latest album and enjoy the songs,
  2. say the dumbest asinine stuff at the bar and have people pretend they’re still listening to me
  3. and most importantly, turn a common cellphone into a tools of torture.

Picture your busy at work and  at about 10:30AM a barrage of text messages come your way.

What are you doing? Where are you ? You work too much ? When are you coming home? Do you miss me ? What are  we doing this weekend  ? Oh You Had Plans with your friends ? Why do you still hand out with Tommy ?   Wouldn’t you rather stay home with me and watch some bullshit movies that you would only watch under torture ? Did you take out the garbage ? Why do you always forget to do that ? You know what else you have forgotten? 

Nagging, it’s something we have all experienced and some thing no one likes. In most cases nagging is the result of a breakdown in communications. However I have never seen my female colleagues friends have to run to their cell phone and respond to a laundry list of text messages. I also took count my superiors wife calling him 10 times on the office phone and 7 times on his cell phone put in his office drawer. It was sad to hear him apologize excessively outside our office and hear him explain that at work we do work, especially when reapplying for grants that will guarantee that we continue to get paid.

Every guy I know has experienced this once. You have plans to see friends and your ball and chain calls you up and demands that you drop everything to stay with her. She is well aware that you had plans but if you really loved her, you’d come over to her place instead.

The broApp  to the Rescue

For some bros it can be extremely tasking to adequately balance their time between their girlfriends and bro activities like lifting, video games, broing out, and chilling with the bros. This is a common bro-blem. Bros genuinely cares about their partner but for some reason sometimes accidentally forget to talk to her all day.

Luckily fellow bros share your pain and created the BroApp to bring an end to this bro-lemma.

With BroApp, you can spend as much time with the bros as you want while pre-selected thoughtful, sweet, and heart-felt text messages are sent through the app to your girlfriend during times of your choice that remind her you’re always thinking about her.

Texts include:
Hey babe, how was your day?
Hey babe, what are you up to tonight?
Miss you :)
Hey babe, i’m leaving work now

If the bros who created the BroApp didn’t properly capture the way you communicate with your girlfriend (or lack there of), you have the option of customizing and adding your own messages.  

Every bro surely knows the importance of not getting caught in the act, which is why the app also has certain safeguards preventing your girlfriend from ever knowing.

You can choose which Wi-Fi networks are not bro-friendly so the app doesn’t send her an automatic text when your both on the couch at her house. Also the bros claim they have a way to disguise the BroApp on your phone so she can never detect it.

As always bros prevail for their fellow bros and the BroApp is here to help any member of the bro community who need bro-sisstance. 


4b59915ecce0dee4bfa3f60680308695e4491ea42d23781bb3f10bd043621643I tend to hate people who use the word bro, and this whole “bro” culture. I’m more of the early 80’s Hulk Hogan Brother. But this app is as cool as it is ridiculous. It makes relationships seems like Word War 2 we have people in computer labs trying to give someone a defense against an entrench, superior emotional onslaught. In stead of code breakers we have code writers, but according to the comments sections on a lot of BroApp articles, the devastation of young men in their prime is the same.

All I can do is laugh. and call to mind T S Eliot’s poem The Hollow Men below. What do you think about the BroApp is it really that serious ? You know there will be a corresponding Sista/girlfriend/AllMySingleLadies/App ,what do you think it will do

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;