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Happy New Year Everyone and 2013 in Review


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HIGHLIGHTS: I got back into working out this year, became an uncle, went on my first vacation in a long time, got into pipe smoking, and went absolutely fucking bananas for a little bit. I bought Ms Mary expensive jewelry

The last two new Years I was part of that epidemic of lonely dudes that find no solace or comfort in the coming new year other than reaching the bottom of the bottle of whatever I was drinking. Ibsen said that the strongest men are the most alone, and for many years I drew strength from that, and I still do but I actually feel happy and full of energy and I haven’t felt that in a good 3 years.

Despite the depression, and all the chaos, I have accomplished a lot. I am usually very sick around this time of year because I tend to work hard and push myself  hustle hard  for 11 months and then my body just gives. This year I wasn’t as sick and I did something I havent done in years. I watched TV! I did absolutely nothing, I was completely lethargic ate tons of pizza, tons of Chinese food, I drank perhaps rivers of beer. You  I only gained 3 lbs too.

It was fucking epic!

2014 seems like its gonna be fucking epic, the pain in my left foot, right hip, right shoulder and lower back is all gone, the debt that was garnishing my paycheck was paid. I want to further involve myself in the things that made me happy in 2013.  What this means  is that I’m gonna kick the blog up a few fucking notches this year !!!! lots of things I want to do.

But before I start any of that I wanted to say thank you  for all your support – reading my stuff, liking and reblogging.  I really really appreciate, and I don’t say it enough.

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A Thank You to Everyone || MrsMary is doing fine and Other News


Last week my lady, the lovely Mrs.MaryMuthaFuckingPoppins had a miscarriage. It was a difficult time. I had thought about shutting down the blog for a week or two but I did not. As with life difficulty and laughter come hand in hand. I worked from home and spent time with the lady cooking dinner  and watching stuff together on the TV and of course telling jokes. I have always had the uncanny ability to make the Mrs. laugh. So it worked out well; well as well can be given the circumstances.

I wanted to thank those of you who knew for the love and compassion you showed.

A Heart Felt Thanks

I’d also like to thanks my readers for reading. I write because I cannot help it. I have learned how to shut up and censor my words in public in most cases but the written word for me is my last bastion for free speech. However I must say as I come to my second year blogging on this blog, that there are many threats to free speech. Small mindedness, bigotry, hypocrisy, and the need to be constantly entertained  permeate the blogosphere. Recently I was quite disgusted with blogging. It happens cyclically  with me. But, whenever I get disgusted with what I some reader of mine leaves what is to them an innocuous comment and it restores my faith in blogging.

So thanks to everyone who follows me, who has followed me and doesn’t, who doesn’t follow me but stopped by.

I appreciate you spending time here

Dave

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MrMary on Blogging: My Five Inspired Blogging Quotes to Reinvigorate You


While we all may blog for different reasons I don’t think it’s presumptuous to say that we love freedom of expression. At some point in your blogging history you may realize that you aren’t as free as you once thought.

After some time you’ll get an audience. You wont get to know, usually, the majority of your followers personally but they still can weigh heavily on your self-expression. Do you cater to your readers and only talk about the topical stuff they’d like you to talk about or do you talk about whatever you feel called to talk about whether everyone likes it or not? Who do you aim to please first: yourself or your audience. Well for me, my audience and I are kinda sorta married for better or worse and being how great marriage is going these days, I might as well please myself.

I’m being a bit cheeky. The truth is that you define your relationship to your audience in a very indirect roundabout way. You write about a particular topic –> it get likes —> So you write more about it.  But that gets boring.  I thought I would write something for your for when that time comes where you need a change to reclaim some of that freedom for yourself. Here are my 4/24 inspiring thought based on some Jack Kerouac quotes I was mulling over recently for something I am writing.  I have adapted them to blogging.

 My Four Blogging Observation I will Share with you now

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Write in recollection and amazement for yourself.

There is a giant gulf between how others see you the blogger as a person and how you see yourself. It is impossible for the complexity that is the hallmark of the human existence to be carried over through the screen and it’s not your responsibility to do so. Writing opens up you up to live deeper, it is existential KY jelly

“a sociable smile is nothing but a mouth full of teeth”

Presentation rules so much more over content. If you attempt to talk about something in a way that people are not familiar with you and your work will be shunned. You are only free to express things people want you to express to make them feel good and better about themselves. I have found this in every form of media. Sometimes I feel that in certain cases a like can serve as this sociable smile

Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.

Posts on Sex, Cats, Flatulence in public, Cronuts, Celebrity news do infinitely better than posts on class warfare, sexism , racism and environmental crises. This is not to decry fun or distractions  however I noticed a strong trend of keeping one’s head in the sand about things, and not dealing with them until they become completely unavoidable.

“If critics say your work stinks it’s because they want it to stink and they can make it stink by scaring you into conformity with their comfortable little standards. Standards so low that they can no longer be considered “dangerous” but set in place in their compartmental understandings.”

Talking about current events/topics dear to you is a double-edged sword  especially if you are writer more than a blogger. Sometimes a piece or post, no matter how many times you rewrite comes out a certain way. The Catcher in the Rye was a controversial book. “Salinger had a lot of nerve to publish it in 1951, given its amount of profanity, sexual scenes, general subversive nature, and lots and lots of smoking and drinking.” This book is now considered a classic. Not many other books took to talked about the complex issues of identity, belonging, connection, and alienation among young adults. There were many detractors of this work and it was banned in many places.

ok thats it

peace

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Jocular Look @ Today’s News || What age men finally become mature?


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In what will surely provide screenwriters with a decade or so of hackneyed rom-com scripts (sample titles: “Better Late Than Never” and “Act Your Age!”), a new study into the difference in maturity between genders revealed that both genders agree men remain “immature” into their early 40s. Eight out of 10 women believe men “never stop being childish,” while both genders agree that women reach “proper maturity” much earlier, around 32. Women were nearly twice as likely to feel that they were the “grown-up” one in their relationship. Next in the news: Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl optioning a four-picture deal based on the study.

Getting To It

I don’t trust articles like this on maturity. What is meant by maturity ? How is it measured ? What sample population was tested ? Was the sample population culturally, linguistically, economically diverse enough to be able to conclude that men in fact reaction maturity at 43 ? What is the pathway socially, personally , psychologically for a male to reach maturity? Who would be an example of a mature man? What role does context play ?   Were the surveys administered in such a way as to bias the results perhaps?

I am wondering in a society as morally bankrupt and misguided as our own, a society that dehumanizing people for the sake of profit would we truly recognize a mature  person outside the technocratic, neo-liberal capitalistic background that we are so accustomed too that we don’t even recognize  any more?

MEN’S TOP 30 MATURITY FAILINGS

  1. Finding their own farts and burps hilarious

  2. Eating fast food at 2:00am

  3. Playing videogames

  4. Driving too fast or ‘racing’ another car at the lights or on the motorway

  5. Sniggering a bit at rude words

  6. Driving with loud music

  7. Playing practical jokes

  8. Trying to beat children at games and sport

  9. Staying silent during an argument

  10. Not being able to cook simple meals

  11. Re-telling the same silly jokes and stories when with the lads

  12. Don’t like talking about themselves/ having proper conversations

  13. Hating books/reading because of short attention span/they’re boring

  14. Doing crazy dance moves

  15. Mum still doing their washing

  16. Having their Mum still make them breakfast/any meal

  17. Wearing trainers to night clubs

  18. Owning a skateboard or BMX

  19. Not eating vegetables

  20. Changing jobs regularly

  21. Getting too excited over stag do’s

  22. Sometimes trying to do wheelies/stunts on their bike

  23. Driving a modified car or one with a loud exhaust/boy racer

  24. Showing off about how girls are attracted to them

  25. Wearing pyjamas, specifically cartoon pyjamas

  26. Using dodgy chat-up lines

  27. Showing off about protein shakes/weight-lifting/how much they ‘lift’

  28. Littering

  29. Wearing saggy-crotched jeans

  30. Having a cartoon bedspread

 

Concluding

I have more to say about this of course but tell me.

What do you consider to be a mark of maturity in both male and females?

What do you think about this finding ?

 

 

Orange hair fuck the employee manual. MY parents didnt talk to me for some time because of this

I got tagged but not like that – Courtesy of Daan “Da Maan” van den Bergh


Tagging has many meanings one of them is to write your mark on public property, and the other I learned about from the prurient  pictures posted on the inside of my friend’s high school locker room involves finishing on someone or something, in a sexual way, it is also known in some circles as the “Dinner Receipt”. Thankfully Daan has introduced me to a new definition of tagging and while I thank him for widening my lexical scope I must confess that despite being armed with this new definition I am afraid that the results will be the same, for I shall, in a heated rushed, adroitly answer these questions in such a way that makes you want more, and when I finish you will need some time to catch you breath and pull yourself together. So with that said, let’s get right into it:

The Rules

  1. Post these rules.
  2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
  3. Answering Questions given to you in the tagger’s post

Photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you

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  1. Despite the fact that I can read well, and went to prep school I am in fact black !!!
  2. MrMary almost went into the Navy and occasionally toys around with the idea
  3. I’ve been thinking about doing a body-building show, but I don’t want to wear speedos and get all oiled up and pose to entertain people
  4. MrMary can rock a party till the early light
  5. I’m tired today
  6. I’m gonna go meditate for about 2 hours after work
  7. I’m going to satirize a popular author/philosopher on Twitter, I want to let a couple of you in on it
  8. I have a funny post on male supplements coming up
  9. I am less than a hundred pounds away from reaching my goal of deadlifting what i used to in college 550lbs. I will aim for 600 by next year this time
  10. I was thinking of writing a post a week in French to get it moving again
  11. I need another vacation

Answering Questions given to you in the tagger’s post

Why do you think tag games like this exist?

There are many bloggers I like online, however due to social convention and past run-ins with the law I don’t see it ending well for me to go up to some one male or female and ask them the person questions that come to my mind when I read there stuff. So Im guessing we relent and ask these questions instead. I never tagg people I don’t like, that’s also why I always keep those lint free napkins on  the night stand.
Do you think they’re fun?

Sometimes they are fun because I never answer appropriately. I use it as chance to be a little less serious and have fun with some things. Luckily for me having fun with myself isn’t a sin, in the real world only in Catholicism (see what I did there – fucking nailed it)

Do you hate me for tagging you?

Daan, not at all You are my homey. If we were both single in the same city, I would hit the bars/libraries/supermarket with you and use my charm and silvered  tongue (thanks to clitoris awareness week) to persuade the chicks, that pinching there noses … actually not even gonna go there. You’re my homey can’t hate

Would you hate me if I would call you a vagina, twice a day, for the rest of your life?

we are what we eat are we not, especially when forced and bound by marriage/social convention/ and the slim prospect of returns on our investments

Why not?

Well thanks to my deordorant I stay dry 24/7. The extent of my dryness coupled with your calling me a vagina would be ironic and cause for laughter, no one like it that dry, even female olympic swimmers

Are you sure?

Well I am sure that there can be no certain in this, as a poet onces said,  time-field of short crops, where what you  sow comes back up very quickly!

So, do you enjoy being called a vagina?

Who wouldn’t I find that they make great after dinner mints

Do you like Scooby Snacks?

Do you mean brownies made with pot ? No I’ve never tried any drugs. I just partaken in alcohol and the morass of feigned excitement that goes around as mass depression, at least where I live

Would you like them, if I told you I liked them?

I’d say awesome, go get them brownies, but not like the Dutch East India companies got them brownies in Indonesia and the other colonial strong holds

Are you capable of forming your own opinion about stuff?

yes which is probably why I have better relationships with stray animals than most people.

Will you promise to ask the people you tag very annoying and random questions?

As my enlarged prostate is my witness I will ask the most annoying questions I can think of

My Turn: My Questions

  1. Have you had an erotic dream? What was it about?
  2. What was your first impression about me?
  3. Why did the Dead Sea die? Who killed it?
  4. If a building is already built why is it called a building?
  5. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change?
  6. What’s the most awkward question someone has ever asked you?
  7. Do you want to do a guest post on ASpoonfulofSuga ?
  8. If I gave you permission to ask me any question and I would answer what would you ask?
  9. Will You promise to ask even more annoying questions than I did ?
  10. What is it about syphilis and washed up rock stars that make them go so well together?
  11. I made a joke the other night involving Mother Theresa and Anal, I dont understand why people  got so upset can you explain
  12. MrMary in 2014 will embark on some legendary voyages where should you go and if I roll through your town want to havea  celebratory beer ?

People I nominate:

  1. tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com
  2. ladylovelyblogger.wordpress.com
  3. justmarj.wordpress.com
  4. sistasertraline.wordpress.com
  5. inkpaperpen.wordpress.com
  6. acflory.wordpress.com
  7. cursorymoments.wordpress.com/
  8. butimbeautiful.wordpress.com
  9. martinwiegand47.wordpress.com
  10. waywardspirit.wordpress.com
  11. summersolsticemusings.wordpress.com

NO ASK BACKS !!!!!!!!!!!!