Random Thoughts || Questions for my Female Readers

Hey Ladies!

I need your help.

Since my last female friend got pregnant with her third child and moved away to Europe, I find myself without a female friend. I’ve found that it’s much more difficult to make female friends now than in college. I don’t know what happened between college and the present day. A lot has changed.

VikingShipFor example, certain women think saying “hello” means “I want to go deep inside of you”. It’s completely unfathomable that one would just want to talk with another human being who just so happens to have a vagina. These same women often times feel that every dude is a closeted rapist just waiting for the chance to coerce a woman into sexual situations. My favorite though is the one I heard at a bar not to long ago. It seems that drinking beers while watching a UFC pay-per-view is the precursor to taking the old Gokstad replica ship out of the garage and mount a small highly trained army to pillage the West Coast of England.

I know what many of you will say: “Not all women are like that, every man has an inner rapists inside of them, and that the Vikings would probably want to raid northern Ireland more than the West coast of England. The truth of the matter is that for all our talk about femininity and masculinity we have, I feel at least made it hard to simply befriend one another.

To be fair, on a whole I find it’s much harder to make friends now than before. It is hard to related to guys nowadays. My college and high school friends are becoming more and more important as the years go by. This quote summarizes things quite nicely

When men hit their 30s, many cling to their high school and college friends. And if these don’t last, men have a hard time forming new friendships. I’m not talking about work-out partners and neighbors you pound a few beers with while ribs are grilling, I’m talking about confidants. People who you are willing to share your innermost self to because you feel it will be valued and accepted (regardless of what evils lurk there). 

I was thinking about the number of confidants I have today, versus a good 10 years ago and they are more or less the same people. The difference now is that none of them are female. So ladies I have some questions for you:

  1. How many confidants do you have as friends?
  2. Do you hang on to a core group of friends or do you continue to make new friends into your 30’s ?
  3. Do you find it difficult to make male friends?
  4. Is it even possible to have platonic male friends?


Satire || To Those Getting Married on Valentine’s 2014

Marriage is a wonderful thing!

bride-groom-cakeJust think of how, as the years go by, you both will grow closer to each other, especially if either of you is American.

More than most other nationalities I’ve come into contact with, Americans seem to have the bizarre ability to gain  ponderous amount weight rather quickly. You may be surprised but in the parts of America (historically below the Mason Dixon line) you can estimate the number of years a couple has been married by counting the cracks on the box spring’s centre beam.

imagesBut moving on, while nothing says love like being caught in the gravitational field of your significant other, this is not what I am here to talk about. I’m here to help you (those of your getting married on Valentine’s Day) navigate the treacherous waters you are swimming through the next four weeks.

Here are 4 things you need realize and internalize, and accept  to make your marriage work:

You’re Going to Lose Yourself

In chemistry, the greater the stability of a molecule, the less reactive it is. Marriage as everyone says stabilizes you. While everyone says that your spouse is your anchor, what they don’t give you is proper context. Your spouse is your anchor in much the same fashion as cement shoes are an anchors for an enemy of the Mafia in the East River. If you make it past the two year mark you will find that you’ve lost yourself. You have no idea who you are or what you want from life. Your happy hour will be those 30 minutes you spend every morning in front of the mirror wishing your belt was longer and the shower rod was strong enough to support your weight.

It will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know, I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on.  – Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

Loving someone has nothing to do with being good sexual matches

As your relationship progresses in time, many of you will notice that your spouse (male or female) has  come to have the same need for sex as that cabbage you have in the back of your fridge your parents in law left there when they came over to make soup for you but got side-lined by reality: fuck soup in the dead of Summer. You will rediscover the beauty of platonic relationships one KY jelly filled latex glove at a time


It’s amazing! As you progress through you profession you will find out that you have becomes more articulate, over the years. You may be able to manage a whole department of people, make executive decision that may cost or make your company millions of dollars but you cannot decide what to have for dinner and you cannot communicate about daily. It’s the tragic sense of irony that ultimately deals the last blow to life. What was once the paragon of animals, and in form and moving like a God will because naught but the quintessence of dust.



Good Luck !!! and ….



ASK MRMARY || Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

You all have over the last 2 years gotten to know my sense of humor, well some aspects of it. You have also gotten to know a bit of my world view. So I figure I would answer random questions that you or others have asked me, Dave the person behind the blog known rapscallion and from this picture Conan O Brian impersonator. Enjoy


Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing

the right things?

I used to work in a garden at one point in my life and I discovered that I could just make a hole in the ground throw in some seeds dump some water on it and go. Within a few days the seeds would germinate. I then had the opportunity to watch a gardener to plant seeds. It Turns out that there is the right time of the day, the right amount of water and a host of small unknown factors to me at the time, that when taken into consideration allow the seed to grow into a strong plant. What this thought me was that it is not about doing things right or doing the right things, but being deeply in tune to and committed to what we are doing. When I am doing something, or I am driving towards a goal I inundate myself in it. I want to know all the fine details!

I find that after I lose myself in the detail things “happen”. So I am worried about 1) having an honest enough reason to something 2)Can I let go enough to let things happen. I find the less “I” am involved the better the outcome and the more what I do seems “right” to those I am working with.

I think that we tend to make a lot of decisions or even domestic policies without every at least interfacing with the people we deal with or the groups of people. Like the people who often time make pivotal decisions on foreign policy or aid to Africa or the poor never really interface with them, or have familiarized themselves beyond 2nd hand information at best about the people who will be affected by their decisions.

Just my two cents


If You would like to ask me any question just leave a comment or fill out the form below.



Because they don’t teach the truth about the world, schools have to rely on beating ……


Because they don’t teach the truth about the world, schools have to rely on beating students over the head with propaganda about democracy. If schools were, in reality, democratic, there would be no need to bombard students with platitudes about democracy. They would simply act and behave democratically, and we know this does not happen. The more there is a need to talk about the ideals of democracy, the less democratic the system usually is.” – Noam Chomsky on Miseducation, 1999



Looking to do a Q&A with a Feminist – Are There Feminists in a Burning House ?

Not paying a woman the same rate as a man  for the same job is fucked up. We should enjoy all the economic, legal, political rights regardless of our race, religious affiliation, gender, age or class. But … 

What about Social Conventions ?

But what about social conventions?  Case and point – women and children first ?

Titanic-lifeboatWomen and children first is a historical code of conduct whereby the lives of women and children were to be saved first in a life-threatening situation (typically abandoning ship, when survival resources such as lifeboats were limited).

According to my research: Masculists characterize this as female privilege and male disposability while feminists characterise it as benevolent sexism and male privilege.” I personally have no freaking idea what this is, which is why I bring the question to you my readers.

I am looking to collaborate with a blogger who is well versed in feminism and women studies to have a conversation. There are a lot of grey areas that puzzle me, and it would be nice to talk to a human being (in particular a female) about these grey areas and get some clear ideas. If you can direct me or make suggestions let me know  contact me mrmarymf.poppins@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

I asked MrsMary

BTW, as always I asked my lady for her opinion and she sent me this video linked below. Please keep in mind that this is a link to a comedian doing his act. If you have a sensitive sense of humor, (you’re still cool in my book) don’t watch. Also this topic was in part inspired by an interesting post by my home girl TarnsZ (the super hero blogger) called: Chivalry Is Dead, Long Live Courtesy.

I’m curious to hear from you. Here’s the video: