MrMary Responds || It’s Time for Women to Take Back Armpit Hair, Seriously?

I didn’t even know armpit hair was gone or had been regaled to such a status that it needed to be taken back from obscurity ?I really don’t get sentiments like this maybe because I am a dude. Check it out:


Pubic hair, once the public province of men, has been making a comeback with the ladies, with Emer O’Toole of The Guardian declaring 2014 to be “the year of the bush.” No more mowing the lawn for us! Hell, even fake mustaches for women have become a female fashion statement in the last decade. They’ve shown up on everyone from Demi Lovato to Miley Cyrus to Katy Perry.

But we draw a line at armpit hair. Even Madonna, the high femme goddess herself, can’t get away with sporting some scruff in her pits. When she Instagrammed a picture of her hairy armpits last week, she was quickly chastised for failing to stay within the bounds of acceptable feminine expression.

Seriously Now

This article says that it’s high time that female armpit hair be considered or recognized as high fashion. I give it 3-4 months before armpit shaming becomes a thing. There was a call in the comment section for hairy pits to unite. Someone else rationalized that if men can do it and our having armpit hair isn’t considered nasty, then women armpit hair shouldn’t be considered disgusting. After I read the article, I had one question, well two questions..



So putting honor killing aside and the massive issues facing women today introducing armpit hair back into the mainstream consciousness through fashion, this is what is important ? What does this have to do with feminism?

Upon further research, it turns out that armpit hair is a major point of contention. I learned about ArmpitsForAugust (dubbed as a girls’ answer to Movember) aims to raise awareness and money for PCOS, a condition which causes obesity, acne and hirsutism, by encouraging women to grow out their armpit hair during the hottest month of the year.” The charity’s founder had this to say:

“We believe the shame a lot of people feel about their body hair is a consequence of living in a society that regulates, controls and dictates that female-assigned bodies must conform to incredibly narrow beauty standards, and which upholds a rigid gender binary that deems body hair a ‘masculine’ trait.”

I don’t get it. If you don’t want to shave don’t. If you want to, do it. There is still  a market for 70’s porn meaning that there are still a decent enough number of dudes out there who love the crinkle-crinkle of female body hair and grainy old videos. I found the article a bit self-indulgent in that there was no discussion of different cultural ideas or takes on body hair. There was this one view and its opposition. It was very narrow in its scope.

Anyways tell me what you think



SHowing that Blogger Love || Happy Bday to Ms Jen and Tonic

I had the pleasure of Interviewing the Lovely Ms Jen and Tonic Oct 30, 2012. She was a participant in my Have You been Experienced blogging tour

81Let me bring you back to a special moment

MrMary Flashes Back

Question 6: What is the greatest thing about your audience ? My audience laughs at my jokes and makes me feel better about myself. They have helped me deal with my chronic masturbation problem…uhm sorry I think that was too much information.

Your audience discourages you from doing that? Mine encourages me! My favorite thing about my audience is that they’re all funnier than I am. And smarter. And cooler. And better-looking. Honestly, I love each of my Hooked on Tonics. I feel like they’re all really good people.

Question 7: Finally if I was Santa Claus and you had to sit on my lap for a wish what would you ask me for

For you to scoot a bit to the left because your boner is poking me.

The Serious & Slightly Sentimental Bit

I am not the only one who can say that Jen has been nice to me, and that is something that is nice and makes blogging on this platform  really special compared to other places I have blogged on.  We are all part of a community, and it’s nice to have Jen a part of it. I know that whether I am telling dirty jokes, or talking about writing,  social issues, or personal stuff I can trust that I don’t have to explain that I am just joking around, or that I really don’t dress up as Santa and ask pretty women in my age bracket to whisper their private wishes into my ear, for leisure. (I actually do it for work during the holidays, and pull out some sex toy from my sack; it’s how I combat the war on women in America).

So Happy Bday Jen !!!!!!!!



MrMary Tackles Men’s Health for Movember ||Things that Will Improve your Health #2 – My Mistakes

Look at the Moustache, and Respect it!

2013-09-26_11.38.32 I have made many many many mistakes, and in retrospect I can see that I have learned a lot from them. A friend of mine recently signed away his freedom proposed to his girlfriend. I had the good fortune of talking with him and sharing with him some of my wisdom at a strip club  while supporting a local business.

I would like to continue this sharing with you guys. In particular this post is aimed at my younger male readers. Granted you will make many mistakes in life like I and my friends have, however I feel if you can avoid as best as possible making some of our mistakes it might help you somewhere down the road.


General Money Mistakes We’ve Made


  1. Secure a steady pay check at least approximately $42,692 (which was the adjusted national average in 2012 in the USA) before any thought of settling down with another person.
  2. Always save, anywhere from 4-10% of your earnings and don’t touch it. This is separate from your 401K and all that junk
  3. Learn how to budget well so that you can live within your means!
  4. Your student loans should not total more than $25,000 especially for your undergrad and your rent should be more more than 35% of your gross income. There are many funding and grant opportunities out there that you can take advantage of.

Personal Care


  1. Invest in yourself ! Make sure  to monitor your holistic health once something comes up see some one right away its better to err on the side of caution
  2. Regular exercise – This doesn’t mean jogging around the block when you are less and less able to see your dick when you look down.  Along with this come proper nutrition etc. This doesn’t mean you have to look like Arnold in pumping iron. Or that you have to spend hour in the gym.
  3. A network of friends and family and supporters is very important esp when life beats you down.
  4. Seriously first impression are amazingly important, like even more important than you think



  1. Sincerity. Save yourself a lot of trouble and be sincere. If you can be sincere with yourself then you can be sincere with others. The same can be said for honesty. They go together honesty
  2. There is no greater “sin” than wasting time. Never let someone waste your time. Never waste someone else’s time.
  3. When I was still on the market I would ask myself three things when I would consider a lady for a long term investiture of time: 1_ could I trust this person with my money ? 2_ could I trust this person with my dog 3_  could you trust this person to keep their mouths shut

General Stuff ( MrMary’s Personal Notes)

  1. Please Read – Read everything not on tablets  or electronic Device  but paper bound books.
  2. Every year try and learn something complete new – a language a new hobby, a skill . Keep your mind active and fresh
  3. Delve into your family history.  It amazingly fulfilling to learn about the situations the presided in the lives of your loved one before you showed up. Its your link back into the great current of history
  4. Learn to cook. Well not only learn how to cook but learn how to cook and clean the dishes as you go along. Whoever you are with will thank you. I’ve tried and asked around, that whole you cook and I wash shit doesn’t help.
  5. Learn to fix stuff around the house. I have learned  to do a whole bunch of stuff around the house. I started out with a hammer and my father in laws cell phone number. Now I can paint, fix clogs some light tile work. I know what tools I need to have in my tool box. It’s amazingly satisfying to fix something that a year or two ago you would have called a plumber for.
  6. Go outside your comfort Zones now and then. There was a time when MrMary was shy couldn’t talk to women and was extremely socially awkward.
  7. Never fucking work for free !!! Your time and energy are valuable. This doesn’t mean that everything will get you $$$$, compensation may be a recommendation or for a favour etc..

MrMary Tackles Men’s for Movember || Guys Here is 1/10 Things that Will Improve your Health

Movember for those of you don’t know is an annual, month-long event involving the growing of mustaches during the month of November to raise awareness of Men’s health issues, such as prostate cancer and other male cancers; and associated charities.

Doing it a Little Differently

2013-09-26_11.38.32Health is more than getting finger-sodomized to gauge the health of your prostate. For a dude to be healthy he needs more than a well oil colon.

Health, if you think about it, is ephemeral in part because of its multifacetedness. If you are physically healthy but psychologically and emotionally unbalanced you are not healthy. If you are drowned in bills, not laughing, not hanging out with your friends , chances are  you aren’t healthy.

With that being said I’m going to kick Movember up a couple of fuggin’ notches.

What Qualifies Me to Do this

Most importantly I have a sense of humour.

Having a sense of humor is even more important than having a pair – yes that pair. Plus I’m battle tested. I live with Sickle Cell disease and I try to be as healthy as possible because it prevents the onset of agonizing crippling pain. I’ve seen my fair share of shit. Not only am I here, I’m doing well for myself and in a good place. I got a lady. I got 3 jobs and am not Jamaican (I’m Haitian). I have found ways to cope with stress and those involve redefining very stringent definitions of health, in particular men’s. Also I’m a paradox:

Race Paradox In Mental Health

white_fullIt’s a long-standing mystery in public health: despite the inarguably vast number of psychological and sociological stresses they face in the U.S., African Americans are mentally healthier than white people. The phenomenon is formally described as the “race paradox in mental health”. The paradox became apparent in the mid-1990s. Since then, an overwhelming majority of research has confirmed lower rates of most major psychiatric disorders, including depression, panic disorder, anxiety, and alcohol dependence. 

O.K. Back to Business

I’m gonna give you 10 posts that will steer you towards enjoying better health. Today I am going to start with something really important: your network.

Networking now in age of economic recession and LinkedIn has so many meaning and insinuation. However what I mean to say when I talk about network are the people in your life that ground you the same way a network of roots ground the tallest and largest of trees.

 Societally the last century has seen amazing new discoveries in science that has spawned this technological age. One result from this has been an increase in communication between cultures internationally, and subcultures domestically the plight of a few is can now be heard and seen. Of course it’s only logical then that as cultures change  its views on many things will change. One of the views or perception which has and is under going change is the perception of masculinity and its expression societally.

In the late twentieth century we face a crisis in masculine identity of vast proportion. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary science – sociologist, anthropologists, and depth psychologists – are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as  much as it affects our society as a whole. Why is there so much gender confusion today, at least in the United States and Western Europe? it seems increasingly difficult to point to anything like either a masculine or a feminine essence.

-Robert Moore PhDKing, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine

Identity Crisis

As can be expected this, crisis of identity can lead to many problems. One way of dealing with this problems I feel is to have a network of male friends, of a variety of ages. Having that has helped me, it has grounded me but most importantly it has allowed me to benefit from the experiences of many men. Rather than rely on the media and bullshit over priced movies and someone with a graduate degree that works with ideas locked away in an ivory tower, I have my own experience put into the context of the experience of many of the men I know.

 I believe that the patriarchal institutions in our present day  are enforcing a version of patriarchy that is harmful to both men and women (and I could get into that if you want in another post if you dudes want), I think having a network of dudes in your life does something amazing for your psychology. For centuries before the industrial revolution men used to work together in many facets of life. Now I find personally we are cut off from one another. I think a network restore that fraternal, masculine environment that allows us (guys) to continue growing.

How do you Network ?

You’d be surprised that living in or around NYC a city with about 9 million people living in it alone and a few million  people who travel in to work, it’s hard to make friends. I have found that I have met and met many friends through my hobbies. Here are some of my hobbies for example:

I think the processes of finding out what activities make you happy is a superbly important one. It has great ramifications for your well-being mentally and physically etc. I think activities also help to expose you to many like-minded individuals.

Take Away

I think it is important to  be grounded in who you are. I think it is also important to be in a ambiance that allows you to be able to share and talk as freely as you can without fear of recrimination. Also As I have seen, I am not the first to deal with the problems I am tackling. You’d be surprise how much insight you can get  from another dude !

Give it a try!

I met a man in Nigeria one time, an Ibo who had six hundred relatives he knew quite well. His wife had just had a baby, the best possible news in any extended family.

They were going to take it to meet all its relatives, Ibos of all ages and sizes and shapes. It would even meet other babies, cousins not much older than it was. Everybody who was big enough and steady enough was going to get to hold it, cuddle it, gurgle to it, and say how pretty is was, or handsome.

Wouldn’t you have loved to be that baby?

I sure wish I could wave a wand, and give every one of you an extended family – make you an Ibo or a Navaho – or a Kennedy.

Here’s A Quote from Kurt Vonnegut

  … that gives an interesting take on having a network for both men and women and its ramifications


OK, now let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about women. Freud said he didn’t know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn’t get so mad at them.

Why are so many people getting divorced today? It’s because most of us don’t have extended families any more. It used to be that when a man and women got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.

A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The Navahos. The Kennedys.

But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it’s a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it’s a man.

When a couple has an argument nowadays, they may think it’s about money or power or sex, not how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they’re really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this:

”You are not enough people!”




To my Home-Gurl Becca from 25tofly.com

My Home-Gurl  Becca commented on my post: Aside from Venereal Disease Love Really Does Conquer All with the following line:

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me.

So I, being a staunch supporter of brinkmanship, have decided to push things   further into absurdity by posting this. Everyone  play along and check out Becca’s page.

Little Known Fact about Becca

Did you know she can light up the South with a smile? No exaggeration! It’s a great skill to have especially when many southern states are trying to secede from the USA because they  don’t like their democratically Elected President !!!