EPIC RANT || This thing some religious people do ….

Harsh language, and sexual situations are mention discretion is advised

20131229_130104My nephew inspired this post. Actually his full of shit diapers that I got out of changing due to some clever politicking on my part did. You see there is one thing that has always bothered the fuck out of me, and that is religious people who read nothing but their religious texts and look condescendingly on everything that isn’t the idyllic religious world they envision

Before you say anything please realize I am for religious freedom. I think you can worship and praise whatever you want to, but I do believe this blinkered close-minded absconding from the world around us is about a helpful to progress, or building a better tomorrow as a new Ke$ha song; it is as useful as paper-cuts on your anus right before a salt water enema appointment. (It’s a new celebrity fad)

I don’t mean to get get off on a rant here, but religious text are quite lacking. For instance in the bible there was no formula for penicillin or the sulfa drug which combined, saved more lives than either the Islamic Conquests or the Christian Crusades. There is nothing in the Qu’ran about dismantling post-colonial systems of oppression, stopping international spying and abuses of privacy. It may come as shock but the world has changed a lot from the one depicted in the recorded oral histories, and antediluvian traditions  that inform many religious texts.

Practical Examples

in your own world
in your own world

Jerking off or the more anachronistic term for it: onanism, is considered a sin in the Bible. Onan prodded his inner Protestant and when he his ronin, throat-yogurt hit the ground God killed him with a thunder-bolt. Yet, tell me this, if you’ve never rubbed/pounded/slapped/DJ’d (I don’t know what you do) a couple out even with extremely pressing deadlines how will you ever understand our political process and those jerk-offs in Congress. Furthermore, coveting thy neighbors ass has a totally new meaning now, with the advent of 24 hour gyms and yoga pants. Bottomline: How can you participate in a world that you do nothing to understand?

Off the Deep End

Before I go any further, I also think we should avoid buying into the idea that the West has it right and that we can save the East/Third World. We actively plunge the world into a chaos we have create and expect congratulations when we, a few years later we bring together has-been celebrities and musicians to raise money for a cause that we sincerely don’t think much about. Our democracy is kind effete, if you take into consideration voter suppression, the egregious lack of a strong public education, the ever-widening inequality gap, the involvement of corporate money in our elections etc. We are a work in progress.

No Dialogue with the Past

But that’s not the point. I ran into someone who wants to write poetry in English but refuses to read poetry or any form of literature other than their own religious texts. I do not know how one can expect to perfect one’s craft without ever learning from what other before have done.

He will never read Walt Whitman because Wally may have sucked a dick or two in his life. To this ass-clown (the guy I was talking too) reading the poetry of anyone who isn’t of high morals is supporting whatever “vile activity they are part of”. He hasn’t read Shakespeare, Cervantes, Moliere, TS Eliot, Faulkner Hemingway, Dylan Thomas, Robert Frost, Borges, or most anyone else.

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I wanted to get him an illustrated version of the Marquis de Sade‘s book: Histoire de Juliette ou les Prospérités du vice, or maybe Jean Genet‘s Querelle de Brest, and let him in on how many shades of meaning smuggling can take, and not just in a naval town in Brest France.

Ultimately to each his own.

Maybe it’s my fault because I have never been religious. Maybe all that pre-marital sex in the early 2000’s really ruined my chances for understanding the rules about how I should stay away from women on their periods, how I shouldn’t eat bacon or get rounded haircuts, or why hanging out with guys that worship Baal is a bad idea?

Let me wrap it up, which is also a sin t0o it seems; what ever makes you happy makes you happy. If

  • your idea of a good time is a Sunday afternoon at an all the dick you can eat buffet, all the more power to you. I think you should be able to vote, make equal pay, and not have anyone limit your freedom.
  • you want to have your hand so far up in a bird that you have to put shiny buckles on your hat and shoes like the pilgrims on Thanksgiving then go for it you don’t even have to wear a napkin around your neck. You do not have to live your live according to another persons ideology.
  • you want to live your life according to the dictates of a book or a series of books, codified oral tradition, or shungas  from the 1300’s depicting scenes egregious penetrations, or Japanese octopus porn then you have every right to do so! All the more power to you

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But you have to realized that many other people do not share your vision of how things should be. You may have to start to venture outside the never never land of your creation where surprisingly enough many societies have continued on in time developing new world views that can affects your life in a very serious ways. Oh and if you wanna be a career writer or poet and never read an literature you’re full of shit.

yeah that it

rant ended


A Satirical look at 2013′s Major Events|| Miley Cyrus

Where do I even start with Miley Cyrus?

My mother told me once that if you have nothing nice to say then to shut up. She also told me I was going to marry a nice Haitian girl but that didn’t fucking happen. So then Ms Miley Cyrus…

2013 Miley Cyrus’ Year

But beyond her ballsy fashion choices and controversial performances and statements, you have to remember that Miley successfully reinvented herself with a successful new album and a whole new look. So kudos to her for dominating a very busy 2013!

Aside from that the fact that we feel dirty after watching, what do Miley Cyrus and a woman in a bukkake film have in common? – Although she is plastered all over the news media headlines, she is still empty inside at the end of the day.


That’s mean of me to say. Basically if I can put away my sarcasm and cynicism for a bit, I have always felt that if someone has real talent they do not have to resort to cheap gimmicks and sensational antics  to court, and face-fuck the public into paying attention to them.

Was there a different way of letting the public know that she doesn’t want to be seen as the wholesome Disney personage she used to pretend to be? She could have:

  1. Read a Book/Gone to College
  2. Hung out/Dated/Partied with Lindsay Lohan
  3. Put out a really good acoustic album

comics-miley-cyrus-celebrities-Halloween-931608But I do not hold her completely responsible for her decent into licentious, tongue-out shenanigans. The public is part to blame. The public has an insatiable urge to see and ridicule another person’s, depravity. It’s always better when that other person is a celebrity. There is this tide of schadenfreude that ebbs throughout our society.

Why else would Miley go from Disney Wholesome to the Whore of Babylon riding into our living rooms on the back of the 7 headed beast that is mass media today? I think this is setting a bad example for young girls. Basically to be worthy of attention one has to sell oneself as a hyper-sexualized being incapable of functioning i.e a passive recipient, or in other words a walking orifice.

Just my thought