EPIC RANT || 547 words on Why I Didn’t Watch the Emmy Awards


The Cynicism has is at times quite caustic . You’ve been warned

emmy-awardSo let me get this straight, the Emmy award recognizes excellence in the television industry.

This sacred tradition,… well it must be people stop everything they are doing on a Sunday to watch someone go up to  a podium spout some nonsense and an occasional homophobic rant not to mention there is drinking involved and a tasteless flaccid host that no one really enjoys…. I could go on, …

But to get back to it, this sacred American tradition was started in  Jan 1949 about 4 years after the end of WW2, during the Golden Age of Capitalism (give or take  a few days/weeks/months) by The Los Angeles-based Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS). They established the Emmy Awards as part of an image-building and public relations opportunity.


Kneel before your God Babylon

Do you see that ? The Academy of Television arts and sciences wanted to find a way to build it’s image with the public   so they created an award show honouring themselves really. I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but this is the equivalent of publicly awarding myself for masturbating to a picture of myself masturbating, to increase people’s opinion of me and get them to think that I am so fucking special that every year I should let you in on this frenetic circle jerk, so you can tell others who were not so lucky to participate how awesome a job I did of public congratulating myself for essentially congratulating myself.

Actually I wont get off on a rant. I’m just going to flex the kegel muscles in my brain, suppress torrents of verbiage and not violently expectorate vitriolic  generative juices all over this post, mostly because unlike the Emmy awards I have decency.

I know what you are saying: Who doesn’t like to receive an awards? And the answer is asexual people who abhor touching and any form of contact because as Rupaul says:


MrsMary really love Rupaul’s Drag race

This is a great marketing ploy of course. It keeps the public attention off of the world around them and the simulacrum of reality you want them to mercilessly plug into like a young Ron Jeremy on the set of Super Hornio Brothers. I generates $$$ and interest it’s good for business.

The medal is of a winged woman holding an atom. Supposedly the wings symbolize the muse of the arts, while the atom symbolizes science, embodying the culmination of the art and the science of television.

Do you want me to tell you what it really means? A winged woman holding an atom represents public relations industry which uses data from scientific studies to reduce man to his most basic of drives and manipulate him into seeing things which he feels inspires him towards an action that just may redeem him of his mediocrity.

 Maybe I’m overly cynical. Maybe I should just leave it alone that so many of the stereotypes and prejudices that create the hostile bigoted environment we live and work in are promoted and disseminated by television/movies on a daily basis.

Anyway I would have more to say but I am going to pleasure myself using tears as my only lubricant. You are all welcome to the award ceremony later honouring my contribution to a growing drain clog