How I Would Get Aspiring Writers to Buy BullShit Books on Writing

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download (7)There is a sucker born every minute.  Some of them are willing to pay $12.95 plus tax for books that supposedly empowers them by feeding them false hope. If I was in the business of living off someone else’s false hope here is how I would do it.

The first step is to muddle the distinction between inspiration and improvement.

Best example, I am writing a book containing the habits of 200  of the world’s greatest writers.  The subtext to this book is that: if you buy my book you will learn the daily rituals and habits that helped fuel these authors’ creativity.If you read between the line you would see that I’m selling you on the fact that if you can emulate these writers you might be as good as them. Worse comes to worse you can improve what you are doing now. How do you measure how you improve, who fucking knows? Well if you don’t improve at least you can be inspired by someone else’s being able to do what you cannot. By my not making any definitive claims, I cannot be called out if your writing sucks just as bad as it did before you got my book. Did you know your favorite author had syphilis and a thing for French Whores. If you write late into the night after fucking some skank, then you too can write as well as your favorite author. 

The Second step is to ignore common sense.

People equate a strong want to do something with talent. This is what every movie tells us. If we want it bad enough, if we are willing to work harder than anyone else we will be number one. If you want to be a center for the Toronto Raptor at 5’3 basketball team you can practice all you want, you can work more hours  than the previous center in thst position you so covet but that doesn’t mean you will be the best center, or even a center. Because you so badly in your heart want to be a writer and you write every day etc, that doesn’t mean you will be a good writer. You will definitely show improvement you will learn you will grow, you will hone your craft but that doesn’t guarantee success  or popularity. 

Third Step is to ignore some basic tenets about the lives of the authors in question

Celine and many writers were profoundly influenced by War. If Celine didnt experience the War as he did we would have not Journey to The end of the Night. It’s not enough to emulate an author’s habits.  You can’t by virtue of steady practice compensate for amazing observation skills or the ability to penetrate into the heart of  the human drama and offer new insights. There is a reason why there are Nobel, Man Booker, and Pulitzer Prize winning. authots By virtue of playing basketball for fun, it doesn’t mean we are NBA level players. How can we determine what is the source of someone’s creativity? Even the authors themselves couldn’t tell  what is the source of their creativity as. Habits again don’t imply creativity. If they did , we should all escape into the deep embrace of Alcoholism and depression, that seems to be a permanent theme in most writers lives.

Ultimately non of these books put the aspiring writing in a position to discover him or herself. None of these books helps put someone in touch with their own humanity.  No books teaches you insight.