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How I Would Get Aspiring Writers to Buy BullShit Books on Writing

download (7)There is a sucker born every minute.  Some of them are willing to pay $12.95 plus tax for books that supposedly empowers them by feeding them false hope. If I was in the business of living off someone else’s false hope here is how I would do it.

The first step is to muddle the distinction between inspiration and improvement.

Best example, I am writing a book containing the habits of 200  of the world’s greatest writers.  The subtext to this book is that: if you buy my book you will learn the daily rituals and habits that helped fuel these authors’ creativity.If you read between the line you would see that I’m selling you on the fact that if you can emulate these writers you might be as good as them. Worse comes to worse you can improve what you are doing now. How do you measure how you improve, who fucking knows? Well if you don’t improve at least you can be inspired by someone else’s being able to do what you cannot. By my not making any definitive claims, I cannot be called out if your writing sucks just as bad as it did before you got my book. Did you know your favorite author had syphilis and a thing for French Whores. If you write late into the night after fucking some skank, then you too can write as well as your favorite author. 

The Second step is to ignore common sense.

People equate a strong want to do something with talent. This is what every movie tells us. If we want it bad enough, if we are willing to work harder than anyone else we will be number one. If you want to be a center for the Toronto Raptor at 5’3 basketball team you can practice all you want, you can work more hours  than the previous center in thst position you so covet but that doesn’t mean you will be the best center, or even a center. Because you so badly in your heart want to be a writer and you write every day etc, that doesn’t mean you will be a good writer. You will definitely show improvement you will learn you will grow, you will hone your craft but that doesn’t guarantee success  or popularity. 

Third Step is to ignore some basic tenets about the lives of the authors in question

Celine and many writers were profoundly influenced by War. If Celine didnt experience the War as he did we would have not Journey to The end of the Night. It’s not enough to emulate an author’s habits.  You can’t by virtue of steady practice compensate for amazing observation skills or the ability to penetrate into the heart of  the human drama and offer new insights. There is a reason why there are Nobel, Man Booker, and Pulitzer Prize winning. authots By virtue of playing basketball for fun, it doesn’t mean we are NBA level players. How can we determine what is the source of someone’s creativity? Even the authors themselves couldn’t tell  what is the source of their creativity as. Habits again don’t imply creativity. If they did , we should all escape into the deep embrace of Alcoholism and depression, that seems to be a permanent theme in most writers lives.

Ultimately non of these books put the aspiring writing in a position to discover him or herself. None of these books helps put someone in touch with their own humanity.  No books teaches you insight.

Tramadol Nights – Reading and Writing the untold story

Hey Everybody,

When high dosages of Ibuprofen meet up with Tramadol magic happens. I can sit up now for 20 minutes before I have to lay down again. I am a little groggy and my stomach feels cooked like it does after drinking too much tequila. But I here I am writing in a drug induced euphoria. I wanted to talk about writing for a moment, since it is something I cannot help doing.

To be a great writer you must be a great reader.

The caveat is that you must read for technique, you must be well versed in deconstructing texts.Reading a hundred books is great but understand how those 100 authors used allegory, diction, structure etc is superbly important.I had an old school teacher of rhetoric. He used to tell us that we must read with a pen at all times and a small notebook to take notes. The basics of writing are few like the letters in the alphabet, but there are endless ways we can bring them together. We would be given passages like this probably a little longer  and we would be told just to “Comment”. We were graded by our perspicacity. and how we could articulate our insight. It was like seeing technique in action.

So anyone wants to take a stab at this one with me ?

the-seaThe Sea by John Banville

They departed, the gods, on the day of the strange tide. All morning under a milky sky the waters in the bay had swelled and swelled, rising to unheard-of heights, the small waves creeping over parched sand that for years had known no wetting save for rain and lapping the very bases of the dunes. The rusted hulk of the freighter that had run aground at the far end of the bay longer ago than any of us could remember must have thought it was being granted a relaunch. I would not swim again, after that day. The seabirds mewled and swooped, unnerved, it seemed, by the spectacle of that vast bowl of water bulging like a blister, lead-blue and malignantly agleam. They looked unnaturally white, that day, those birds. The waves were depositing a fringe of soiled yellow foam along the waterline. No sail marred the high horizon. I would not swim, no, not ever again. 

Someone has just walked over my grave. Someone.


satisfy the greed of the majority, and the rest will do you no harm

I finished this book and there were a couple of passages that stood out to me. Check it out

beowulf3But satisfy the greed of the majority, and the rest will do you no harm. That’s it. You’ve still got your fiction of consent. If the lowest of the workers start grumbling, claim that the power of the state stands above society, regulating it, moderating it, keeping it within the bounds of order–an impersonal and higher authority of justice. And what if the workers are beyond your reconciliation? Cry ‘Law!’ Cry ‘Common good’ and put on the pressure–arrest and execute a few.”

What is the state in a time of domestic or foreign crisis? What is the state when the chips are down? The answer is obvious and clear! Oh yes! If a few men quit work, the police move in. If the borders are threatened, the army rolls out. Public force is the life and soul of every state: not merely army and police but prisons, judges, tax collectors, every conceivable trick of coercive repression. The state is an organization of violence, a monopoly in what it is pleased to call legitimate violence. Revolution, my dear prince, is not the substitution of immoral for moral, or of illegitimate for legitimate violence; it is simply the pitting of power against power, where the issue is freedom for the winners and enslavement of the rest.”

~ John C Gardener, Grendel