ASK MRMARY || Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

You all have over the last 2 years gotten to know my sense of humor, well some aspects of it. You have also gotten to know a bit of my world view. So I figure I would answer random questions that you or others have asked me, Dave the person behind the blog known rapscallion and from this picture Conan O Brian impersonator. Enjoy


Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing

the right things?

I used to work in a garden at one point in my life and I discovered that I could just make a hole in the ground throw in some seeds dump some water on it and go. Within a few days the seeds would germinate. I then had the opportunity to watch a gardener to plant seeds. It Turns out that there is the right time of the day, the right amount of water and a host of small unknown factors to me at the time, that when taken into consideration allow the seed to grow into a strong plant. What this thought me was that it is not about doing things right or doing the right things, but being deeply in tune to and committed to what we are doing. When I am doing something, or I am driving towards a goal I inundate myself in it. I want to know all the fine details!

I find that after I lose myself in the detail things “happen”. So I am worried about 1) having an honest enough reason to something 2)Can I let go enough to let things happen. I find the less “I” am involved the better the outcome and the more what I do seems “right” to those I am working with.

I think that we tend to make a lot of decisions or even domestic policies without every at least interfacing with the people we deal with or the groups of people. Like the people who often time make pivotal decisions on foreign policy or aid to Africa or the poor never really interface with them, or have familiarized themselves beyond 2nd hand information at best about the people who will be affected by their decisions.

Just my two cents


If You would like to ask me any question just leave a comment or fill out the form below.


Answering Reader Questions: Would You be interested in having frank Discussions about Racism

DCF 1.0I got this lovely question the other day that I thought I would address: Would I be interested in having frank discussions about racism. There are some important questions that should be asked

Is there anyone willing to listen/participate ? How will people deal with being offended ? What format will these talks take ? What do the people who will participate feel they will get out of it ? Am I the best person to talk about it racism?

If the right people, time , circumstances and intentions are present I am more than happy to discuss racism. The real issue is the complexity of racism, socially and historically. When I think about talking about racism certain things come up. I will mention two things

1. There isn’t a common language we can use about racism, even the terms racism means different things to different people and racism overlaps into many areas, racism and gender issues, racism and work related issues. At the end of the day many techniques and instances of exploitation overlap. This makes it very difficult to talk about.

2. Out of sight out of mind – generally if it doesn’t happen to you. Racism isn’t a subject many people educate themselves about because there isn’t a need to.  It’s very personal to some people which sometimes makes conversations sometimes difficult, circuitous, and painful to listen too.

So with that said I would be more than willing to talk with or collaborate with anyone who wants to talk frankly about it. I think after discussing some things: format, what subjects to talk about specifically we could have something great. Feel free to share

My Writings on Racism in the past

I have written about racism before Taking

  1. Taking The Negative Movie Edition: Olympus has Fallen
  2. Taking the Negative Saturday Special:Woman,Skin Whitening, and Adele
  3. Taking the Negative Intl Woman’s Day Special: White Women & Movie Serial Killers
  4. Taking the Negative: Voting in the 2012 Elections
  5. Taking the Negative: The Monster’s Ball Syndrome
  6. Taking the Negative: The Movie Hero
  7. Taking the Negative: Islam and terrorism
  8. Introducing a new Series: Taking the Negative dedicated to Chinua Achebe

Black History Month Post

  1. How I said Good-Bye to Black History Month 2013 & My Great-GrandMother
  2. MrMary’s Black History Month PSA: Why Do Black People Talk That Way
  3. Black History Month Special: Valentine’s Day,Conjugal Visits in Prison, Sex and Bonobo Monkeys 2/2
  4. Black History Month Special: Valentine’s Day,Conjugal Visits in Prison, Sex and Bonobo Monkeys 1/2
  5. MrMary’s Black History Month Game: Pick the Correct Picture of Beyonce
  6. MrMary’s Black History Month PSA: Why do Black People have such Crazy Names ?
  7. Things Not to Do During Black History Month #1