Gender stagnation is a term which refers to an unchanging gender identity. A vital component of a gender stagnant person’s ideology is that, while willing to happily support individuals from all walks of life, choosing to identify themselves in a manner comparable to cream in the dairy aisle (fat-free, half-&-half, heavily or double-creamed), they fundamentally feels that a social privilege that people have struggled long and hard to bring deep into the nation’s consciousness gets devalued when given empty, sensationalist coverage.
When it comes to gender, I’m admittedly quite vanilla, as in a ‘chocolatey’, African-American vanilla variant. Meaning, if you’re like the last woman I dated, you’ll probably put me in the back of the fridge out of sight of parents and friends. But when you’re all alone, you know where to go to get that fix for what has been described as ‘the sweet, soft texture of euphoria.’ I’m unabashedly masculine, which is entirely different from choosing to identify as masculine. Before elaborating further, you should know, namely that without a doubt masculinity is more than just laughing aloud after reading the latest feminist piece on male sexuality. Masculinity has nothing to do with being macho, or the excessive consumption of alcohol, or being/enjoying gratuitous violence, or finally an intolerance of difference, albeit sexual, racial, etc.
How I came to be Gender Stagnant
Gender is no doubt a social construct based on biological as well as centuries of anthropological difference between men and women. In my view, the qualities of masculinity and femininity are expressed by each individual, each in accordance with their own constitution, i.e. no one person is purely either extreme we are all a unique synthesis. There are men who act in a very feminine manner and vice versa. There are those who are more evenly constituted. That said outside of my girlfriend’s makeup installations that dominate the landscape of my bathroom sink, there are few things in life that are entirely neat and orderly. Rather than take stock in society’s penchant for labeling, I decided long ago to act from the core of my being both as an educated man and as a biological entity without paying any mind to labeling’s debilitating uses.
For example, men and women are equal in my estimation. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell my girlfriend to check out a suspicious noise if I hear something while we are sleeping. There is a reason why I always sleep with a bludgeoning tool within arm’s reach (in this case, not the one conveniently attached to my person). I also don’t fast forward porn to the last few minutes to see if the lady wore white at her wedding to the guy(s) pounding her fanny to a fleshy kind of play dough, as a mockery of purity and chastity everywhere. The clips are short enough already. When I see an attractive lady, I go and talk to her. I don’t smile at her and try to look cute in the hope she will buy me a drink. Finally and most importantly I’ve never coerced anyone, to say something they don’t want to under threat of not putting out which is, in reality, a form of domestic terrorism.
To summarize, I am a masculine guy, who likes being so, and has never wanted to be anything else. I feel most comfortable and sincere acting from the core of who and what I am so my gender identity is stagnant, unchanging for the foreseeable future. Subsequently, I cannot speak to the validity of gender fluidity, as it is beyond my experience. Some feel that gender fluid people have a lesser form of gender dysphoria than trans-people. Some transgendered people feel that gender fluidity is a joke that undermines the work they have done to get accepted within our society. What I am certain of is that sensationalizing a popular topic tends to highlight the most famous cases, at the expense of those suffering or trying to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Caitlyn Jenner becoming the media-selected ‘It’ person for trans-people, obscured the plight of many trans-gendered people who aren’t rich, famous, Caucasian, or a part of a reality show or guilty of vehicular manslaughter.
*despite the waggish tone of this post, I’d seriously love to hear your thoughts.