Haven’t skinny white girls been maligned enough? I can’t imagine living with the constant worry that people think I vomit after every meal. Imagine a world where Starbucks baristas get annoyed by questions about whether the soy milk used in my latté is from a local organic farm. It’s much easier to worry about losing my life at a routine police check point. I’ll take the high road and talk about the facts.
Facts and Stuff
Fact # 1 : Despite the monopoly of wisdom every so-called enlightened being lost in a world where consciousness has gone beyond beyond “all man-made ‘isms’possessed, they never thought to appropriate and commodify spiritual practices for profit.
As a result, some schmuck is cashing in on the body like a God apparel. In no place is the harm done by this egregious lack of foresight so obvious as in today’s yoga practitioners. Did you know that yoga practitioners destroy thousands of beautiful landscape pictures each year. It seems like there is nothing a pristine landscape needs more than some cunt (male or female) striking an extended triangle pose.
I understand, this may not seem like an offense to you. But indulge me by picturing this scenario. Our grandchildren have come of age and the closest they’ll ever get to Nature will be in their laughable attempts to read aloud the list of botanicals on the backs of left over bottles of shampoos that scatter the megalithic, makeshift rubbish piles the last bit of humanity calls home.
If a culture divided along class and racial lines, appropriates anything and turns into an industry, it will bear the marks of its bigotry. No one seems to remember that yoga is a centuries old art form with a rich and complex history. Yoga was popular long before: Friends, salmon colored shorts, eating organic, colonial oppression and Ugg boots. While we are on the topic of socio-historic somnabulance, one thing many modern day yoga practitioners seem to forget is that all the benefits of yoga are neutralized by the children’s tears used to make their iPhones. Yes, despite their impeccably cleansed chakras and colons, it seems rather easy to forget that at $17.25 per class (provided you buy in bulk) yoga does not negate personal responsibility from the abuses of our society or for being an asshole. To be clear, if you carry your yoga mat whether holstered or not, on a crowded train or bus you my friend are an asshole.
Yoga has transformed the lives of many people for the better. To say that yoga is not just for skinny white girls is to disregard its primary message that the gift of an expanded consciousness is for everyone. You can understand my anger at how it has been a sorting-hat determining membership into either the house of the haves and have-nots. That’s insulting to spirituality on a whole.
I’m already resigned to a future where humanity brings about its own end. In my reverie, I can see the remaining stragglers living underneath layers of our garbage, out of contact with the sun developing dull gray skin, chinless faces, and large greyish-red eyes. Luckily I’ll be long dead before yoga mats are repurposed for the cannibalism of the descendants of the willfully ignorant yoga practitioners with their shoulder-length hair, pointed chins, large eyes, small ears, small mouths with bright red thin lips, and sub-human intelligence