You Requested it: Intro to The Crazy World of Dating


For the first time in over a decade, I am single and it is not as fun as you’d imagine.

Yes there is an ebullient charisma that seeps out my pores (not to mention my good looks and iconoclastic style). You have every reason to believe that I spend a considerable part of my week attacking the pink fortress like a Union Soldier during the battle of Antietam. Sadly, I do not.

A Bold Truth About Dating in Your 30’s

When last I dated in 2002 there was no smart phones, there was no FaceBook or online dating. There was just the threat of getting AIDS without having had a lucrative basketball contract first. Currently, I’m neither as naive nor as easily seduced by optimism. I’ve had to learn the hard way. By the way, dating strippers with first names that can double as nuance-laden nouns is more of a headache than anything else . (Cherry if you’re reading, sorry I never called you back and Chastity I hope your augmentation surgery went well, I really do).

On a more serious note, unlike my 20’s I work 50 -60 hours a week. I have little time for much else going in my life. Also I know much more what I want from life and from the woman I want to invest spending time in and money on.

Investment and Smaller Pools

That right I said ‘investment’.

I got the best piece of advice about dating from a comedian. The comedian advised men to equate how women feel about their vaginas to how we should feel about our time. For example I just scored my first big break career-wise. I got my many projects on the side which are finally taking off. If I gave it (my time) away to everyone I’d be fucked. (chuckle). I could invest my precious time into someone. Or I could use that time to edit my writings, sleep, clean my apartment, read something, go to the gym, see my nephew and family,etc. Unfortunately investiture nowadays is a little more complex. We are fishing in a much dating-pool of individuals than during our 20’s.

But It’s Not all Bad in Theory

Other things not bad in theory: bringing democracy to Iraq with bullets and bombs, a lifetime of debt for 4 years of college, and oral sex if you’re Michael Douglass. (Given how aggressive his throat cancer was, you’d think  he went down on a box of biohazard waste but sadly, the box in question was of a different kind.

But it is easy to give into cynicism. There are actually some great things about dating in your 30’s and when I find out what they are I will return to tell you. In the mean time

Quid quid latinae dictum set, altrum sonar
(Whatever is said in latin sounds profound)

Dave


 

  • Antietam was the single bloodiest war in the American Civil War.

** I wrote this blog post at the request of a reader, and it turned out a lot more fun than I imagined. I think I am going to keep this going

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “You Requested it: Intro to The Crazy World of Dating

  1. Loved ths, Dave. I started dating again when I turned 40. That same year, I found the woman I’ve been ridiculously happily married to for 8 years now.

    Wait… this was supposed to be an inspirational comment, but I just realized it sounds like I’m telling you it’s going to take 10 years to find someone.

    Sorry about that.

    But hey, it’s obvious the writing is going really well!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ned,

      First off by my math you are 48 y/o which is amazing as you look mid to late 30’s. What is your secret?
      Your comment is inspirational. I am happy to hear some good news. Deep in the dark recesses of my heart
      I am an optimist. Just don’t tell anyone that, I’m still trying to get a tenuous grasp on my sanity.

      thanks for the compliment. I really want to do something with my writing. Well my satirizing and commentary
      on the plethora of happenings in the world around us. It should be a fun journey though

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well done on the math! And thanks — I think being a humor columnist at least keeps me FEELING young. I promise to keep your secret identity as an optimist to myself, and I’m glad I could offer a little inspiration. Stay true to yourself in life and writing, and good things will happen with both — possibly even together.

        Like

  2. LMFAO! 😉 This was totally unexpected, I almost choked on my cup of tea! Shame on you! I could have electrocuted myself and you! Much love and many friendly, naked hugs! 😉

    Like

      1. Don’t apologize, my friend! It was a hilarious posting! Thanks, buddy! Much love and many friendly naked hugs! 😉

        Like

  3. Done reading. When I encouraged you many a time in the past to go out, have fun, let a few more women break your heart (you breaking hearts as well — I never said do it with strippers, though 🙂 ), I was not merely concerned about a number of posts you could generate on living the single life. I had actually been thinking in terms of how the experience would bestow more breadth and depth to your writing. It’s my wish to see you someday soon typing a magnificent, heartbreaking piece while crying over your cheese soup. Really, you have all the right tools; it’s the necessary life episodes that are lacking.

    So it seems your work life has been taking up much of your time. I ain’t saying it’s not good. You’d need the money to go around. 😉

    Seriously, I understand what you’ve been going through, dear friend, with regards to both your personal and work life. Things aren’t perfect for now. But the advantage of having ample time ahead is still with you.

    Like

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