For the first time in over a decade, I am single and it is not as fun as you’d imagine.
Yes there is an ebullient charisma that seeps out my pores (not to mention my good looks and iconoclastic style). You have every reason to believe that I spend a considerable part of my week attacking the pink fortress like a Union Soldier during the battle of Antietam. Sadly, I do not.
A Bold Truth About Dating in Your 30’s
When last I dated in 2002 there was no smart phones, there was no FaceBook or online dating. There was just the threat of getting AIDS without having had a lucrative basketball contract first. Currently, I’m neither as naive nor as easily seduced by optimism. I’ve had to learn the hard way. By the way, dating strippers with first names that can double as nuance-laden nouns is more of a headache than anything else . (Cherry if you’re reading, sorry I never called you back and Chastity I hope your augmentation surgery went well, I really do).
On a more serious note, unlike my 20’s I work 50 -60 hours a week. I have little time for much else going in my life. Also I know much more what I want from life and from the woman I want to invest spending time in and money on.
Investment and Smaller Pools
That right I said ‘investment’.
I got the best piece of advice about dating from a comedian. The comedian advised men to equate how women feel about their vaginas to how we should feel about our time. For example I just scored my first big break career-wise. I got my many projects on the side which are finally taking off. If I gave it (my time) away to everyone I’d be fucked. (chuckle). I could invest my precious time into someone. Or I could use that time to edit my writings, sleep, clean my apartment, read something, go to the gym, see my nephew and family,etc. Unfortunately investiture nowadays is a little more complex. We are fishing in a much dating-pool of individuals than during our 20’s.
But It’s Not all Bad in Theory
Other things not bad in theory: bringing democracy to Iraq with bullets and bombs, a lifetime of debt for 4 years of college, and oral sex if you’re Michael Douglass. (Given how aggressive his throat cancer was, you’d think he went down on a box of biohazard waste but sadly, the box in question was of a different kind.
But it is easy to give into cynicism. There are actually some great things about dating in your 30’s and when I find out what they are I will return to tell you. In the mean time
Quid quid latinae dictum set, altrum sonar
(Whatever is said in latin sounds profound)
- Antietam was the single bloodiest war in the American Civil War.
** I wrote this blog post at the request of a reader, and it turned out a lot more fun than I imagined. I think I am going to keep this going