Scientists Create Vagina in the Lab, And I am going to buy one (joke)

For the first time, researchers have successfully implanted laboratory-grown vaginas in human patients—potentially helping women avoid drawbacks from other regenerative procedures, scientists announced in a paper published today.

pussy in a dish is now not just a sex move for the more adventurous and limber of couples

The new organs are created by culturing these women’s own cells into tissues and eventually reshaping the tissues into a vagina-like structure. An underdeveloped or absent vagina can result from any number of health problems, ranging from congenital syndromes like Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauster (MRKH) to cancers and injuries. \

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The last time I was this excited for a new product on the market … Well I cannot remember when last I was this excited !!! Let me at the offset say that the vagina I’d purchase is not for pleasure. When it comes to asserting myself into a vagina I would like there to not just be vast expanses of empty space, although looking at some of the broads I’ve dated. Well yeah a personality sense of style and an attitude are important accoutrements that should adorn a vagina, in a figurative sense of course.

Let me Share with you 7 ways my life would improve if I purchased a vagaina

1. I could win arguments ! – No longer would the need to make sense ever impede me from winning an argument
2. I could get free drinks at a the bar especially late into the night – Usually late into the night anything with a vag is fair game
3. I could summon all the stray cats around my neighborhood just by waving it in the air – I always wanted to have power over animals. This is a partial short cut to that dream
4. I could bring it in for salary negotiations – access to pussy will shift a negotiation in my favor. When deals go bad I can get half of what I don’t deserve to get
5. Get free rides if I carried it around in a short skirt
6. I could start fights with a lot more dudes and not get punched in the face
7. I could drive badly without fear

I am just kidding of course. You don’t understand, for someone who makes everything into a joke this is the penultimate news story. The only thing funnier than spare vaginas, are those hairy/furry boxes that watches comes in.

You know if you put your ear up to a furry box you can hear time pass? They are like seashells in that sense. By the way why of all things, do watches, and perhaps ex husbands come in those furry boxes? Was there a giant hairy-box convention back in Europe in the late 1800’s that worked hard to decide what would go inside?

Maybe we should reuse those empty furry boxes to house the substitute vaginas. It would be a sexual conundrum, aptly named in more familiar circles: The Matryoska Doll Connundrum

Ok seriously now.

This breaking news story has a happy ending at no extra cost to us. The scientist working on this project don’t have to die as virgins. So congrats to both the scientist and those who were once vaginaless but now can be firmly introduced to a whole line of Summer’s Eve Products.