First Lab-Grown Vaginas, Now Viagra Ice Cream

The long list of unnatural food combinations just grew a little bigger: Viagra and Champagne ice cream. The treat — which has the familiar blue hue of the popular erectile dysfunction (ED) drug — is the brainchild of Welsh food inventor Charlie Harry Francis, who created the product for one of his “A-list celebrity clients.” Each scoop of the dessert contains 25 mg of Viagra, according to the website of Francis’ company, Lick Me I’m Delicious. 

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This is not a coincident. Labs are growing vaginas, and now out of the blue Viagra Ice Cream comes, like many of its’s customers on the scene? I do not believe in coincidences. My first reaction to this was that our culture has finally found the best way to pay respects to the popular greco- Roman fertility God Priapus. Rockets, skyscrapers, obelisks, Darth Vader, and the wealth of man-made object that are phallic looking weren’t enough. Instead of projecting our internalize homage out into the world around us, we are letting it radiate forth

A More Serious Problems Looms

Once Viagra ice cream hit the markets the city streets will become become the background for Eugene Ionesco most famous Absurdist Play Rhinoceros.

BERENGER: And you consider all this natural? 


DUDARD: What could be more natural than a rhinoceros? 


BERENGER: Yes, but for a man to turn into a rhinoceros is abnormal beyond question. 


DUDARD: Well, of course, that’s a matter of opinion … 



Finally Ionesco’s work can be realized in a more tactile and less visual sort of way. But realistically people have been popping Viagra for recreational purposes for a long time now. Imagine a moment when life becomes so easily discernibly , egregiously absurd that we can no longer lie to ourselves. I don’t know if I would want to live a life where I couldn’t lie to myself.

Of course once labs were able create vaginas it was only a matter of time time before Viagra ice cream and Cialis laced movie soda became a thing. Yes Cialis laced soft drinks will turn a boring movie date into a fun date.  After cranking a few out in the bathroom you can go back and talk to your date like a human being. No longer caring about whether you get laid tonight or not because you rubs yourself chafe.

To be fair to feminists, I will lobby for a chocolate bar (chocolate) or salad dressing (why do you always get a salad during the date, if you want to be equal you should eat with completely disregard for your mortality) with the correct dosage of medicine that once taken gets the  the vagina primed and irriguous (well-watered). That way foreplay can be relegated to the recesses of the past like eight-track,  programming punch cards, and men and women who don’t do oral.

What do you think ?