You may be surprised to know that the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly—yet forcefully—taken by her man is consistently in the top five female fantasies. In fact, it’s often the number one fantasy. What I found interesting about this is that many of the actions involved in the fantasy of being forcefully taken under another context would correspond to rape. Furthermore I should point out that the fantasy of being ravished, of being forcibly taken is not considered as being a rape fantasy. That is something different, according to what I’ve read.
The first thing I thought about after I read the above was Soap Operas. In elementary school I used to wait for my parents to pick me up at the house of a family friend. She did nothing but watch soap operas while I was there. Have you notice the role that rape plays in Soap operas ? Look at this article: How the ABC Soap Opera General Hospital Romanticized Rape.
Luke and Laura. When fans recall this legendary couple they envision their spectacular summer on the run, their long awaited nuptials , and their subsequent decades of vacillating back and forth as tormented suds couples must do. What is often NOT mentioned is how their relationship began.
To cut the denouement, their relationship started out with Luke raping Laura on the discotheque floor.
Making Sense of this
There is nothing more degrading and soul crushing than rape. Yet how can we reconcile how the audience reacted to this plot twist. “The audience responded to the desperate love-sick Luke and forgave him for the unspeakable act just as Laura would.”
In feminism, rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape. I feel that rape-cultural doesn’t address the psychological complexity around rape, rape fantasies, the role domination, submission etc.
DISCLAIMER: Forcing someone to perform any act against their will is to me the greatest violation of the human spirit. It is not something I condone under any circumstance. Also I am not against feminist theories on rape culture. I feel feminist could create better policies if they included a psycho, socio, and biological dimension to their thought.
As we can gleam from mythology, embedded within our psyche is this narrative about sexual coercion. It is and has been a part of our human history. Rape in warfare dates back to the most remote Antiquity and is still around today. There were accusations in 2012 of US soldiers having raped women during our Invasion.
For me rape and ravishment are the two opposite pole on a spectrum of expression. Love and openness are the catalyst that shifts a the expression towards ravishment. Love and openness are products of psychological emotional and mental maturity, something that is in short order. The archetypes that express themselves in our psyche have two forms, an immature forms that dominate during or boy or girl stages of development.
Certain psychologists link the problems we see with men today–violence, shiftlessness, aloofness–are a result of modern men not adequately exploring or being in touch with the primal, masculine archetypes that reside within them. When there aren’t the necessary conditions for children to develop holistically, they’ll be exposed to stimuli which will shift their behaviors towards the destructive polarity.
To address rape we have to first ensure that the children we feed into the various social institutions like religious or the educational industrial complex are not coming out scarred and broken. Second we have to empower families. It is my view that we cannot empower families caught in the thick of class struggles. Look at these rape statistics, taken from reported percentages according to National Health and Social Life Survey
- Someone with whom the respondent was in love: 46%
- Someone that the respondent knew well: 22%
- Acquaintance: 19%
- Spouse: 9%
- Stranger: 4%
If 96% of rape cases come from people the victim knew well, we have to wonder about the nature of our relationships with others. How are we relating to others?
This is what I mean that we need to take an honest look at ourselves, as species. Any policy, however well-intentioned not taking our history, biology, or the idiosyncracies of our psychology into account is bound to be ineffective. I do believe that empowering familial relationship can address the crisis of immaturity and in turn rape.
The following quotes illustrate some of the results we have reaped from just breaking up the extended family. I’m not saying that we need to rush back t extended families but we can use this idea of an extended family to restructure our communities.
Ok that’s it
Edmund Leach claims that the decline of the extended family has isolated the nuclear family and placed emotional demands upon it which are unbearable. The inevitable result is conflict both within the nuclear family and within societies as a whole as the nuclear family creates barriers between it and the wider society breeding suspicion, fear and social conflict.
R.D. Laing claimed that the nuclear family grievously restricts the process of self-development and “generates both an unthinking respect for authority and an us-them mentality which contributes to harmful and dangerous distinctions between Gentile and Jew and Black and White.”
David Cooper concludes that the family inhibits the development of the self and conditions its members not to accept the shared norms and values of an harmonious society but to submit to the dictates of an authoritarian, repressive capitalist one.