Ladies, I need your help understanding Objectification

You bet your sweet ass it is ...
You bet your sweet ass it is …

Michelle* always gives me a big smile acts nervously when I go to her register. When I went to her to pay today Michelle* gave me a giant smile. I told her if she keeps smiling like that I’ll go buy some more stuff to be in her line again. As we were going through the usual small talk I looked at her body language.

MrsMary was correct: Michelle likes me. As we were leaving MrsMary pointed out that Michelle’s next customer was another guy. He didn’t get the big smile. (I feel special). I informed Mrs Mary that I’ll be filing a complaint. I didn’t go into the pharmacy to be objectified. I came for shampoo, shaving and other things. “Can you believe the nerve of that women, imagining that I was just a body, without a personality? Smiling at me was a clear violation of my boundaries.” After saying that MrsMary look at me and said (paraphrasing) “Stop being such a fucking pussy.” We both laughed and continued onwards

Nobody should suffer objectification. It is important though that we are clear on constitutes objectification. I came across a young dude about two weeks ago who felt uncomfortable being attracted to women. Obviously he was not in touched with his masculinity. He is one of many emasculated dudes I’ve met as of late. Suppressing  a natural desire and self-emasculation is not a cure to objectification. It’s another terrible problem.

As a heterosexual guy

married and bored or single and lonely, aint no happiness no-where
married and bored or single and lonely, ain’t no happiness no-where

As a heterosexual I feel inspired every time a pretty lady passes my way. I enjoy her passage like I do the Seurat mural at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I don’t act on it, because I am with someone. Looking, smiling, or telling a chick I don’t like her new bangs because it hides her eyes – that isn’t objectification. That’s the beginning to circle of life. Before a baby is born, a woman has to take a hot one, or a hot few. Unless it’s a turkey baster, a dude has to talk to this lady and convince her he isn’t a rapist. He also has to prove he can support himself and her and show willingness to go through the rest of his life a neutered adult.

The media objectifies everyone: Men, Woman, Immigrants, Gays, Whites, Blacks, Native Americans etc. A recent survey found that a quarter of British men between the ages of 20 and 30 prefer to have sex with the lights off…because they’re ashamed of their bodies. Part of the whole men feeling ashamed is due to the type of guys portrayed in the media.

An Example of Sexual Objectification

I had a Brazilian Co-worker named Maria*. She could have been an Amazon; a mythic Amazonian who didn’t amputate a breast to be a better archer. She was the definition of voluptuousness. She decided to stay clothed in LuLulemon attire after lunch time yoga class was over. She shut down the job. Even my female co-worker couldn’t help staring. We all even talked about it during lunch. Long story short, a janitor told her she was looking sexy and he wanted to take her out to dinner once he got off his shift. He was objectifying her and had to attend an unpaid harassment seminar. All that told me is that objectification is often times only reserved for dudes a chick’s not into.

Ladies as I see, it we are all objectified. We are all drones lost in a vast bureaucratic machine. This machine draws it’s power from exploiting socio-cultural differences. Once polarized to an extreme, we can be influenced towards acting a certain way (buying a certain product or ideology.) As always this is how I see it, this isn’t representative of how things are in their entirety. I am not asking you looking for fodder to start arguments but I just want to hear from you. Share. Tell me your story.

3 thoughts on “Ladies, I need your help understanding Objectification

  1. I really think objectification happens when you are reduced to an object. The other day when I was riding my bike past a group of boys and one calls out, “nice tits” that is objectification because its reducing me down to my boobs.

    Another time a man walked past me and winked and said ‘G’day Gorgeous’ that, I think was just harmless and friendly. Of course, it is a grey area.

    I think if you are complimenting another person keep it fairly tame, at least until you start getting feedback that they want your attention. Smiling at someone at the check-out is cool, telling someone ‘wow you have a sexy body,’ is not, at least until you get some feed back from some initial more tame flirting that they are wanting and enjoying attention.

    Unwanted comments about appearance can turn from flattering to leery and creepy fairly easily. I think you can show interest with smiles and a bit of flirting and very, very few people would consider that objectification and if they did, they’d be in their own little world because the rest of us would disagree.


    1. Evolutionarily certain things stand out as being physically attractive to both men and women. If a chick is very voluptuous, it’s going to be the first thing I notice and the last thing I’ll comment on until of course after we get comfortable with each other like that.

      What I think makes it “objectification” is the place the comment comes from. I’m with you that the intentions must be align and you must get some sort of feedback first before you unleash. If some creepy dude tells you nice tits, it’s a clear signal that he doesn’t care about you enough for you to wait to give him the sign to continue. Objectification is definitely a grey area. I have a friend who the ladies consider quite good looking, and he can get away with saying some shit that if another guy said it would be creepy and objectifying. Do you know that joke that sexual harassment is only for unattractive people?

      With that said things can get creepy really fast. I see it when I go out at least once, and it’s said see the chick at the bar smiling and trying to be polite and while getting. It’s fucking brutal. To see it’s like watching hyena trying to take down a gazelle on the Discovery Channel.


  2. I have always thought the objectification happens in the mind of all people before it becomes actions towards others by those same people. After all “Objectification” or defining it is just a judgment call. Of course it also depends on how good looking the culprit really is, as the person who is objectifying anyone?
    Example: if the other person who is doing the objectification of you, no matter how rude it is, is off the hook gorgeous, people would more times than not except it as a small price to pay for lets say fame for instance. It is because we as people look as relationships as winning the lotto, either with wealth or exceptional good looks. The genders may indeed look at this differently. Exactly who or which gender looks at whom like this is for the readers to decide, but it does happen just like that.
    Therefore the definition of being objectified, wanted or unwanted, falls into the category of personal genetic attractiveness that culprit has and the person who is being then objectified is willing to take in hopes of some kind of payoff being yours for the taking. In the event of the culprit being unattractive to you claiming that your just being valued as an object is not exactly being honest. Other wise woman would dress-up in burlap sack cloth for their first dates and not care how they look–what assets they dress provocatively? Men wouldn’t care to appear more successful than they really are to land that remarkable piece of eye candy on their arm, who would be willing to break that sexual tension for them. It is the very thing that attract us to others, the objectification of what we see.


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