DISCLAIMER: I am side stepping the normal horse-shit polemics that normally plague any discussion of marriage and infidelity, in the hopes that we are all adults. Reader discretion is advised.
“But, drawn to her at that moment, he felt a quiet like the voice of the rain flow over him. He knew well enough that for her it was in fact no waste of effort, but somehow the final determination that it was had the effect of distilling and purifying the woman’s existence.”
― Yasunari Kawabata, Snow Country
I recently started reading Snow Country by Kawabata. For those new to Kawabata, Snow Country is a stark tale of a love affair between a Tokyo dilettante and a provincial geisha that takes place in the remote hot spring town.
I was surprised to learn while researching that “the hot spring regions of Japan were home to inns, visited by men traveling alone and in groups, where paid female companionship had become a staple of the economy.” This got me thinking.
Paying for female companionship is an ancient business practice. Furthermore sexual tourism is a quite popular nowadays, and not just for men as I reported in this previous post:
When white women flock to Jamaica for a little fun in the sun, the RandR they’re often looking for is not Rest and Relaxation but to Rent a Rasta according to director J. Michael Seyfert. His eye-opening expose’ sheds light on a barely acknowledged form of sex tourism, namely, white women who visit the Caribbean Islands to get their groove back with the help of black locals. Most of those inclined to indulge their Island Fever with wanton abandon are apparently middle-aged and/or overweight spinsters. Ignored by white men, and afraid to date blacks openly due to the social taboo, they look for satisfaction at remote resorts amidst the anonymity offered by a virtual paradise. These decadent dames safely lure their boy toys with money, electronic gadgets, designer clothes, baubles, or whatever material item it takes to get uncomplicated sexual favors in return along with the strict understanding that like in Las Vegas, What happens in Jamaica, stays in Jamaica.
Looking at the history of paid companionship and the prevalence of sexual tourism, I wonder how honest are we about our own sexuality? More importantly, how honest are we about monogamy? The following chart lists some interesting statistics on infidelity.
This data leads me to believe that we have unrealistic expectations for both marriage and monogamy. People nowadays live longer and their lives are not ruled by religion as they were before. There are sites for casual and online dating. I’m not advocating that you unbuckle your pants and look for trouble. I am also not advocating that you spread them Panama Canal style and let all ships that pay a tariff ( usually the cost of a dinner) pass.
What I am saying is that we need to revisit our social attitudes towards monogamy. Sooner or later it will happen the same way it did for marriage.
What do you guys thinks ?
On a side note look at how marriage was defined in the Old Testament back in the day