MrMary Sarcastically Responds || 21 Ways You Do Not Want To Be Proposed To


DISCLAIMER: THIS IS INTENDED TO BE A COMEDIC SORT OF PIECE. IF YOU FEEL THAT I AM ATTACKING A HOLY SACROSANCT INSTITUTION YOU CAN FUCK OFF REST ASSURED THAT I AM NOT.

Again, would you want to fly on an airplane that had a 50% chance of failing? Would you want to enroll your child in an elementary school where only 50% of the children graduate?

This is how I see marriage as it is practiced today: a vehicle that is 50% likely to fail while in use. I am a big fan of a long period of co-habitation first before marriage. After being together for a while, maybe have a kid, if I don’t hate her fucking guts marriage would seem to make sense. I have no care for social conventions.

What does loving someone have to do with their or my family to celebrate our union? In truth it is not really a union. Both of us are mysteries on to ourselves. I am still discovering myself in my 30’s. If after 32 years of knowing myself I am still a mystery to myself how can there be any kind of union with someone else who is basically a stranger to me and themselves? Yes of course we have shared memories, bills and responsibilities, but is that what it takes for a “union” nowadays?

Why Proposals suck

Love ultimately is different from business. Historically marriage is a business! Don’t believe me ?

Why do you need a license to marry someone, why do you need to have the government recognize your partnership? Why do you need witnesses, and why should my significant other be entitled to 50% of everything I’ve worked for? That last bit sounds like asset acquisition (business) to me. I don’t need a license to love someone.

A proposal is supposed to be both

  1. a declaration of love and
  2. The initiation of the marriage contract

Personally I think marriage proposals exist solely for the woman. What is so special about anyone  that I should go down on my knee and propose to them the idea that it be a good idea to spend the rest of their lives with me ? Think of it like this, when I enter Church, I do not genuflect before the cross or before some anthropomorphized version of God, or whatever. But I am supposed to genuflect before my tormentor and ask that they say yes to a life centered around my own personal abuse.

Ok let me explain

I’ve talked to many dudes and none has ever mentioned purposely wanting to get married or propose to their wives. Let me give you the top reasons why men get married:

  • It felt that it was the right thing to do ||
  • I felt it was really important to my wife
  • She was pregnant || I needed a green card

No guy has ever told me that they dream about getting married their whole life. Despite this and its amazing failure rate some are still willing to sign away their freedom. But it’s not enough it seems, to willingly sacrifice  your person-hood. According to Buzzfeed there are 21 ways, women do not want to be proposed to.

  1. download (4)
  2. With a flash mob.
  3. When you’re not looking your best.
  4. As part of a fake arrest.
  5. In skywriting.
  6. On Valentine’s Day.
  7. On any holiday, basically.
  8. At your workplace.
  9. On your birthday.
  10. At a sporting event.
  11. In front of your partner’s family.
  12. By finding a ring hidden in your food.
  13. At Disneyland.
  14. At a restaurant.
  15. Immediately after a positive pregnancy test.
  16. When you’re proposing.
  17. On stage at a concert.
  18. At the mall.
  19. On social media.
  20. On a whim.
  21. After a night of drinking.
  22. Somewhere dangerous.

When I read this, I was blown away by the ingratitude. Do people not realize the arrogance behind such an article? Is it not enough that actually someone wants you, around? If I wrote an article 21 Ways Women shouldn’t approach Men to place a request for sex, the internet would have my head.

What do you think ladies about proposals are you for or against them and what purpose do they serve ?

By the way check out these Articles 45 Perfect ways to propose & 21 Marriage proposal Ideas – do you see how much of what isn’t wanted overlaps with what is wanted ?

5 thoughts on “MrMary Sarcastically Responds || 21 Ways You Do Not Want To Be Proposed To

  1. A very comprehensive list, my blogging buddy. I appreciate your feelings on living together as a prelude to marriage. Nice job! I see you’ve been busy while I was away! 🙂 Much love and naked hugs!

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  2. Oh I think it’s nice. I hope someone proposes to me one day! Doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I know a guy who wrote “Marry me Liz” in the sand with shells or something then hired a helicopter and flew over the beach and told he girlfriend to look down! That’s a bit over the top! A simple “Will you marry me?” will do me.

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  3. I got proposed to beside a waterfall in the Rocky Mountains. It was so romantic. My response, however, wasn’t as well received.
    I proposed that we wait for 7 years, an engagement if you will, and if he still wanted to marry me at the end of that time then we’d go for it. He didn’t ask again. By then he was used to me being around. He was probably surprised when I left. I think he thought that I’d stick around for another 7 years but the way I looked at it was that if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me he would have been a little bit nicer those last two years. I was. He would have gone out and had fun. I did. He would have taken those motorcycle trips with me. I loved them. He would have taken me out for ice cream the way he used to instead of just saying ‘I’m tired.’ the way he did when I asked him to go to the DQ with me. So, how long is a girl supposed to try shit and try shit and try shit before she packs a bag and leaves? I gave it a good 7 years and we parted friends. If I were still with him? Maybe we would have hated each other.

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  4. Let me tell you exactly why people get married with a 50% success rate…Because no one on their death bed said, I wish I was more selfish, I wish I had more me time, I wish I didn’t have family that loved me,…AND trust me on this one, they never said I wish I didn’t love as much as I did. AND one more piece of unsolicited advice, if someone is bothered by the day/place of a marriage proposal, then someone just proposed to the wrong person!

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