Jocular Look @ Today’s News || New York woman cuddles people for $80 an hour.

cuddle29n-5-webManhattan transplant Ali C. is billing herself as the city’s first professional cuddler, holding emotionally-charged snuggle sessions out of her Financial District studio apartment. “It’s a very healing experience,” Ali, 47, who asked that her last name not be disclosed due to privacy concerns, told The Daily News. “People are very vulnerable during the process.” The expert nuzzler launched her unorthodox venture, Cuddle U NYC, in November and has already had more than 30 clients — all men except for one female — come to her doorman building. It’s a peculiar phenomenon that is being replicated throughout the country — and uncharted waters for city regulators. Ali’s rates are comparable to a massage parlor: $60 for 45 minutes of spooning, $80 for one hour. An overnight stay, which has yet to be requested, is $500.  She even offers a $200 movie and cuddle package, but is waiting for someone to take her up on the offer before buying a TV for her minimalistic apartment. A tissue box sits on a metal chair next to her full-sized mattress at all times, she said. “They’re absolutely necessary,” she said. “There’s a lot of tears.”

The Power of Touch

The equation is pretty simply  [(money Exchanged) * (Witnessing the power of Touch)]+ tears = The best happy ending at a massage parlor ever!!! So I am impressed that this business model can work in setting devoid of erections. Jokes aside I know about the healing power of touch the first time I got laid was in my early twenties and I have to create some entertainment for myself those cold NYC winter nights. Seriously, I  have like at least 10 inappropriate comments, I can just shoot-off, kind of like this ladies clients must do when they return home.

Ok Seriously

There are two NYC’s there is the NYC of the tourist and the NYC of the actually people who live here. Among the people who live here, there is a constant debate about authenticity. I grew up here, saw gang violence, police brutality first hand. I remember when Time Square was full of peep shows, and when crack hit big. I remember the son of Sam killer and everyone being scared to go out into the street. NYC is a tough city, it can crush your soul. Charlotte Perkins Gilman said it best: In New York City, everyone is an exile, none more so than the Americans.

In NYC it’s easy to find yourself exiled from human interaction. So I can see how the indifference and anonymity and isolation can wear someone down and why some people may find solace in paying someone to cuddle with them. I always wanted to run a tour and show people the real NYC I know, not the stupid fucking M&M store in Time SQ, next to the Olive Garden.

I Couldn’t Do It

sleep-tight-cuddling-friends-kitten-puppy-sleepingLike most of my social circle, I am a undersexed, 32-year-old heterosexual male which means whether big spoon or little spoon all roads lead to some form of arousal (especially if she smells nice). Plus I could never let myself sleep around someone I didn’t know or trust, as I sleep extremely deeply. One night in our shit apartment in Brooklyn, we were robbed as we slept and I woke up to a knife placed by my head, and while I am on a tangent these mutha fuckas while robbing us drank my fucking apple juice… seriously is it bad enough that you’re robbing someone and place steak knives by the heads of sleeping children? To then go and drink my apple juice… it had my name on it …. that’s where I draw the line.

Anyways, I give good hugs though, so for what it’s worth, Who wants a free hug ?

How about you guys, would ever see a cuddle specialist?

Would you ever think of becoming a cuddle specialist?

If I could get over the trust issues and find clever ways to use an ice pack when necessary, would you visit me if I was a cuddle specialist/therapist ?


  1. Oh dear a cuddle specialist that is sad, I wonder if she gets many customers. I can sort of understand, sometimes I go whole days without really touching another person, still I don’t think I want to pay for cuddles.


    • I have always found touch to be a weird kinda thing. I find that Americans are very closed off about touch and such. It is from what I’ve seen tougher in nyc, so I can understand why their are a cuddle specialists but i would never pay for something I could get for free


    • The south bronx is scary still. I can only imagine it back in the late 80’s. I lived in the bronx for 5 years I didnt like it at all to be honest.I dont get the new Times Sq or the M&M shop I mean you can get M&m’s everywhere yet at the 42nd stret station I always see scores of people with bags of the shit!

      Dude I got the VEgas job but I I couldnt move fast enough so I had t turn it down. I got some other interviews coming up so we will see what happens.

      How have you been how was ur week ?


      • Man, I’m sorry to hear that about Vegas.
        Glad there’s more coming up.

        Week was short because of President’s Day, but finished it with a wicked head cold. Warm weekend, and I’ll be stuck at home.


    • I couldn’t do that. Laying with someone in bed is such an intimate thing, I mean even on a psychological level, you are inviting someone into a place where you are vulnerable. As a cuddle specialist would you cuddle both males and females?


      • It’s pretty much the same as hugging a stranger, Yes, it is intimate but you’re doing it for someone else so you aren’t giving much of yourself. You’re just holding them and making them feel like everything will be okay. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It would be both male and female and any other gender identity.


      • Maybe it’s the east coast urban setting but Ive never hugged a stranger before, or someone I didn’t talk to for a little bit and access. Actually funnily enough here we avoid eye contact even. This perhaps is why hugging a stranger and in a bed is something i wouldnt feel comfortable doing. There are a lot of attitudes I have ingrained in me from family and culture, a lot of time its hard toeven notice well for me anyways. You shoudl visit NYC 8 million lonely people for you to hug


      • NYC is on my list and very high on that list. I think it does happen when you’re in a city, you just walk around like no one else exists. It’s just life gets in the way of everything else. However, I was in London and got hugged by a group of random strangers. I suppose it would be scary if you knew they meant you harm. If you get paid to hug, wouldn’t you? It seems the ideal job!


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