A Satirical look at 2013′s Major Events|| The Government SHUTdown


This is as misleading as a title can be. The “Government shut down would imply that the government was open for business at some point, which according to many it hasn’t been for a while. It not just hyperbole that I am spouting take a look:

governemnt_inactivity

Of course you may say MrMary: “2014 has just started; they may rally and really get to work.” Well my dear if you believe that you might as well believe that every time a Kennedy drives an innocent women off a bridge/road/peer an Angel gets its wing.

Imagine if every year from 2003 onwards your spouse started to engage you less and less in sexual activity. By 2013, he/she is just going through the motions enough to keep you trap you in the illusion of a coming intimacy that will never be.

While statistically speaking Americans don’t mind a bad marriage or two, do we have to include the one with our elected officials into the lot of things we seek alcohol to find solace from?

The Shutdown Highlights

While the government was shut down, I began to wonder how much do we need government? Is government as indispensable as we assume it to be? How much of its importance and usefulness is actual and how much of it is a by-product of our collective social conditioning?

But aside from that looming questions. There were some highlights from the shut down, well not to me  but to some Americans and in our quest to think positively about everything we should take these into account.

Thinking Positive in 2014
Thinking Positive in 2014

# 1 – More than 2 million federal workers will see their paychecks delayed — and 800,000 of them might never get repaid

These workers were clearly not smart enough to sell their souls to corporations on the side so that whether or not they got paid they could still live the dream.

#2 – Food safety has been jeopardized. 

Survival of the fittest people ! We need to thin out  the herd of Americans plaguing North America. Why not start with the one that can die from common food allergies. If a peanut can kill you ,maybe you don’t deserve to be in the future with the rest of us.

#3 – Spaceflight has been scrubbed. 

We didn’t going out into space during the Shutdown. Why do we need to go to space anyway? I’m sure if we wanted to expose ourselves to frigid temperatures and die asphyxiated en masse, we would line-up to perform random acts of cunnilingus on Jennifer Aniston.

Enjoy

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2 thoughts on “A Satirical look at 2013′s Major Events|| The Government SHUTdown

  1. That whole Chappaquiddick comment is pretty out of date. Republicans love to use that one, but younger people don’t even know about it. Some of them don’t even know who Ted Kennedy is.

    Like

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