A Satirical look at 2013′s Major Events|| Royal Baby is Born!!!

(This blog post was inspired by Ms. Apple at http://applekaurr.wordpress.com/, check my friend out)

Ah the royal baby !

Of all the major events of 2013 this was the one I was most ambivalent about. Why you ask? Looking at how old the Queen is and how Prince Phillip looks more and more like the centuries old Sir Galahad in Indiana Jones and the last Crusade, I’m sure it wasn’t the first time Will and Kate had to change a diaper or look at a shit smeared bottom being cleaned by a commoner.

dope_080905_pegboyI am happy for the baby. It is hard not to like a baby. This is good for the Royals especially in light of the assassination what was it 16 years ago? As long as the baby doesn’t bang the son of an Arabic Billionaire (in the future) he should stand to live well into his 90’s as the reigning anachronism of a by gone era, smelling of aged cheese, and the aftermath of the rum, sodomy, and the lash.

btw -There is some debate about whether or not the Royal navy supplied it’s Seamen with Peg boys). Forced Buggery is as British, as is Great Britain’s historic mistreatment of gays. Anyone remember Alan Turing ?While of course this baby will be born with a silver spoon in its mouth, has anyone asked where was the spoon before it was put in?

The royal baby’s continued happy and healthy existence is proof of the non-existence of Ghosts. Looking at all the movies, you would think that in 8.5 cases out of ten Caucasians get to come back to life to haunt, kill, and spy on people in showers. I should specify two things:

  1. By that definition only the ghost of Caucasian-American Southerners and former Police Officers get to come back.
  2. btw- Lord Imhotep from the movie the Mummy and the Mummy Returns, respectively, account for all remaining ghost returns

QvDY0But logically that is not the case. Imagine all the non-Caucasians that have succumbed to the santorum stained black-fist of the British Empire. The Royal Palace should be crawling with the ghosts of First peoples, Africans, Indians, etc, The Queen shouldn’t be able to sleep …. unless she is undead herself having sold her soul long ago to remain in the semblance of power of an empire that is as diseased and soiled as Prince Harry after his infamous Vegas romps.

article-suncover-0822So good luck royal baby! Let’s hope for your sake that either Karma is non-existent and that the God of Moses doesn’t claim you as retribution for subjugating about 60% of the global, or that you fall in line and sell your soul before your 16th Bday, to one day be the aging effete figurehead England so desperately needs to cross over finally into Modernity.


*300px-Alan_Turing_photoAlan Turing was a British mathematician,  logician, cryptanalyst  and computer scientist. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, giving a formalisation of the concepts of “algorithm” and “computation” with the Turing machine, which can be considered a model of a general purpose computer. Turing is widely considered to be the father of computer science and artificial intelligence. Turing’s homosexuality resulted in a criminal prosecution in 1952, when homosexual acts were still criminalised in the United Kingdom. He accepted treatment with female hormones (chemical castration) as an alternative to prison. Turing died in 1954, 16 days before his 42nd birthday, from cyanide poisoning. An inquest determined that his death was suicide; his mother and some others believed his death was accidental. On 10 September 2009, following an Internet campaign, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown made an official public apology on behalf of the British government for “the appalling way he was treated.”

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