Lindsay-Lohan1I’m dumbfounded at how my fellow Americans can be so egregiously uninformed. After Lindsay Lohan‘s epic response to hurricane Sandy (the one that put 50 million people at risk) I realized that scintillating and thought-provoking dialogue had become a thing of legend. For those of you who don’t remember, Mademoiselle Lohan said:

WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (I’m calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace”

If  I am going to be absolutely honest part of the reason America  can sell wars to its citizens so well (we have at any one moment 2 wars on lay-a-way) is because we are all not that well-informed. In some state sponsored schools in Louisiana fifth graders study both creationism and evolution as competing theories. On the weekend of April 26 2013 after decades of separate proms, there was the first integrated prom in Wilcox, Mississippi.

 Actually, I don’t mean to get on a rant here but, if Americans get on a whole any dumber, a wave of never-ending violence just may in fact inundate the world, and the first people to be wrongly exterminated might be the Sikhs. The reason will surprise you!

sikh_cartoonist_rect-460x307To your Average American everyone in Asia who isn’t Chinese Japanese, Korean, or Indian is a Muslim Extremist. Basically if your culture hasn’t established itself on your city’s Yelp with at least 5 good places that are down with Groupon  you just maybe a Muslim terrorist with sympathies towards al-Qaeda. Please remember that Americans being one of the fattest nations think in terms of food. So for us when we hear Chinese we think of take out, Japanese we think of sushi and Gwen Steffani, desperate grasping at looking cool, Indians we think of Chicken Vindaloo or another dish etc.  Most Americans don’t know that Jesus is mention in the Koran as is Mary his ‘moms’, and that to be a Muslim you have to believe that Jesus was a major prophet. All Americans know that Muslims don’t eat pork, because bacon and other pork products are our first and second line of defence against Reality as it slowly tries to outflank our TV shows and bullshit smart phone apps to inform us about the world around US, thing like this (source)

Since the 9/11 attacks, Sikh individuals have been victims of gun violence but a wholesale massacre was never attempted until Oak Creek (August 5, 2012). And even after more than a decade of successful lobbying efforts from Sikh advocacy groups to change government policies, litigate discrimination cases, train law enforcement and raise awareness about Sikhs, hate crimes have continued to rise, especially in the last few years, according to FBI statistics.

Isn’t it bad enough that India treats the Sikhs like shit, while of course forgetting their service to Bharat. You know it’s  fucked up when you as an African American kid you are hanging out in Southern India and then you hear black jokes from a Dravidian who is darker than you and every 5 person asks if you want to become a rapper when you grow up. Then I heard a few jokes where Sikhs and Blacks were the punchline and I knew something was up. Did you know that

In 1984, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was shot dead by two Sikh bodyguards, and for the next few days the country erupted in mayhem. Sikhs were hunted down and burned alive. Anyone with a turban and beard was suspect. There were prying eyes on our apartment balcony and a mob seeking revenge on our blood. We survived the carnage, but up to 10,000 people  were reduced to ashes.” (source)

So how can we save the Sikhs from American stupidity? How can we succeed where public advocacy groups had failed. Here is my plan:

 the American we need to educate:

  1. Respond well to repetition || Solution: How about Sikh Car drivers for Nascar.
  2. Respond well to swim wear and the Flag || Solution: Have Sikh men and women model American flag themed swimwear.
  3. Don’t vote, don’t speak English well, love all-you-can-eat buffets – its a way of life. Sikhs you know what to do
  4. Need some other racial group to abuse, || Solution: More Sikhs need to join the Republican party. They can direct you to specific groups you will best be able to abuse

Well those are just my thoughts, I could be fucked up in the head


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