EPIC RANT: Schadenfreude, Black Friday & Family gatherings

ap_black_friday_oregon_mi_121123_wgEvery Thanksgiving, I go to bed  happy because without fail Black Friday will be showcasing our collective cultural depravity. Now instead of the media’s daily parade of circus show freaks and broken individuals, I get to see everyday people shit irreverently on the human experience, like the homeless guy does on the 96 street number 2 train station, uptown side.

Every Black Friday I revel in the fact that the dream of Edward Bernays the Father of Public Relations has been realized. That Saturday morning we are bathed in a steady stream of images (aka a golden shower) of former human being  reduced to simple protoplasmic masses so enamored by buying things on sale, that they don’t notice the “conscious and intelligent manipulation of their organized habits and opinions .”

Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here but from the point of view of the government the general public is only needed to buy products from companies that put money in politicians campaigns/pockets. Oh how could I forget, there’s also the participating in an election every few years where our needs are not addressed by those that supposedly represent us.

mileyBut you know we have become accustomed to the anatomically correct Uncle Sam dildo made in China, unfeelingly jammed in our anuses. We are resilient! We keep watching David Lynch films and out of pity more than anything let Miley Cyrus continue twerking when we all know that You can’t twerk …well the pic is right there.

The worst things about all of this is the fact that it’s the meal with our families that add the sparks to initiate this bellicose outbreak.

cheneyfam_500_362There is a reason we all supposedly “miss” each others calls and go for weeks or months without speaking. It’s because the whole Nuclear family thing doesn’t work. Don’t believe me, think about Thanksgiving dinner at Dick Cheney‘s house. Aside from Christ, no one has come back from the dead more times than Cheney. And what’s worse is that each time, he returns  more diabolical than before. How many people with bullets in their faces did it take to bring home one turkey to the Cheney house. if the collateral damage during the Iraq and Afghanistan war is any indication I would imagine  50 people to each turkey killed. The family’s stance on all things LBGT has was the inspiration for Robin Thicke‘s blurred lines song…. talk about getting blasted anyone?

Seriously the nuclear family seems to work as well as the initial Obamacare website. Edmund Leach claims that the decline of the extended family has isolated the nuclear family and placed emotional demands upon it which are unbearable resulting in social and familial conflict. Supposedly these conflicts create barriers, breed suspicion, fear and social conflict. R.D. Laing claimed that the nuclear family grievously restricts the process of self-development and “generates both an unthinking respect for authority and an us-them mentality. David Cooper concludes  that the family inhibits the development of the self and conditions its members not to accept the shared norms and values of an harmonious society but to submit to the dictates of an authoritarian, repressive capitalist one.

So I rest my case. We breed for schadenfreude. If we didn’t take pleasure in each other’s pain how else could we get through our lacking lives devoid of purpose and meaning outside of the economic system we are chained too. Why else would we get married if not to ensure 10 -20 years of watching someone else suffer for our selfishness? Black Friday is the one day we don’t have to pretend that we are supposedly cultured sophisticated people.

I could also be crazy. I dont know …

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