CoverLetter I sent in For a writing Gig …….


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Do you like Non-sequitor ?

To Whom It May Concern,

I consider myself to be the greatest satirist of my generation. It goes without saying that my apparent greatness is in direct proportion to my lack of notoriety. Writing for XXXXX is my chance to expose myself (or rather my sardonic vision of the simulacrum of reality I inhabit) to the world and beyond, provided that XXXXX’s audience is not troubled by reading at a third grade level.

On the off chance that that first paragraph didn’t cement my status as the standout candidate allow me to tell you more about myself. I am a native New Yorker who still remembers how much of an overt homage to corruption and self-serving cupidity Time Squares used to be with its pimps, prostitutes and drug addicts. Also unlike many New Yorkers, I never try to shield myself from feelings of emptiness with unfulfilling relationships, cans of chilled Pabst Blue Ribbon, and complaints about our inconsistent-at-best sports teams.

I exude sarcasm and my life is satire. [Cannot share the rest of this] I accomplished all this in a year and half, while working two jobs. With that being said it stands to say that the thing I would change most about XXXXX is my lack of presence there.

My current professional resume has no mention of my second life as a satirist blogger, but I will include it nonetheless because you asked. The strength of my application rests with this cover-letter that is itself a piece of satire. Attached to this email is a writing sample. Perhaps in the days to come we can talk more about [xxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx], and generally pretending to like everyone while getting things done.

Best Wishes

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