My fellow blogger TarnZs published an interesting piece today called This is Justice ?! where she talked about Catherine Kieu a women who drugged her husband in July of 2011, tied him to their bed, cut off his penis and threw it in the garbage disposal all for his wanting to get a divorce. He was not an abusive wife beater, he didn’t cheat on her with multiple STD infected lovers, he didn’t maritally rape her…he deemed her an unfit wife and made the mistake of telling her he was going to pursue a divorce. Surprisingly that didn’t really phase me. I’m used to reading depraved acts in the paper.
What struck me was the existence of comments such as this: “he must have deserved it”, “good for her”, “you go girl” and “men rape everyday…it’s time we did something back”. These comments always trouble me because I feel they are detrimental towards any sustainable dialogue dealing with gender bias, discrimination and sexuality. To praise the mutilation of an innocent human being is never a mark of a mature person.
The Importance of Dialogue
Dialogue is important to me because it can address on a large scale the faulty narratives we have been sold and indoctrinated to believe as true for centuries; narratives that say one sex is weaker than another, or one race is inferior than another. As long as there is any hate empowering speech there will not be progress. Each of us is responsible for the state of society however little we do in sincerity and not from a place of hate encourages a transformative process. When I read about these comments I was able to remember many more comments like it that I have seen more and more frequently over the years. I also remembered an excerpt from a book I had read by Dr Robert Mooreand Douglas Gillette.
In Dr Robert Moore‘s book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine attempt to elucidate he concerns himself with helping men take responsibility for the immature forms of masculinity. Moore asserts that the current patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and in part, the shadow– or crazy– side of masculinity. It expresses the stunted masculine, fixated at immature levels. He asserts that it is harmful to both men and women. I found it interesting and telling that in the last section of the book: A Final Word Moore says:
In this book we have been concerned about helping men to take responsibility for immature forms of masculinity… it is clear that the world is overpopulated with not only immature men but also tyrannical and abusive little girls pretending to be women. It is time for men – particularly the men of Western civilization – to stop accepting the blame for everything that is wrong in the world. There has been a veritable Blitzkrieg on the male gender, what amounts to an outright demonization of men and a slander against masculinity. But women are no more inherently responsible or mature than men are. Men should never feel apologetic about there gender as a gender. They should be concerned with the maturation and the stewardship of that gender and of the larger world. The enemy of both sexes is not the other sex but infantile grandiosity and the splitting of the self that results from it.
I am sure Dr Moore’s comments will stir some controversy, as perhaps his Jungian approach will as well but I do want reiterate that the enemy of both sexes is not the other sex. There has to be some sort of unified effort to effectuate a change. Demonization of either sex arrests the transformative process that years of endured suffering and castigation have allowed us to make the progress, however minuscule you may personally deem that to be.