Beauty Park, a spa in Santa Monica, Calif., is offering a new procedure for dudes. It costs $575, and it “involves using lasers to remove hair, erase wrinkles, and correct discolouration on the scrotum.” We’ll just give you a moment to let that sink in. Apparently, George Clooney made a joking reference to something called “ball ironing” in a recent interview, and, well, this proves it’s a real thing. Beauty Park refers to the procedure as a “Male Laser Lift,” but a similar procedure advertised by Dr. Drew collaborator Nurse Jamie is called “Tighten the Tackle.” As sickeningly, devastatingly vain as we are here, words fail us at this moment.
Getting Into It
When Peter the Great wanted to Modernise Russia, he demanded that men cut off their beards. After a while he levied a tax if I am not mistaken. I remember Kemal Attaturk to also valued this clean shaven look. Nowadays it’s not uncommon for a lot of guys to remove all the hair from their bodies, which really struck me as odd. Body hair was when i was growing up the sign of masculinity. I dunno now with the manscaping or complete shaving and this ball ironing thing I am not sure what physical features are left.
In mythology hairiness is associated with virility, with an experienced connection with the rest of creation especially the animal soul that has been cultivated and lauded for centuries up until our modern times. We have I feel for our times lost the connection to nature as the global warming and rapid degeneration of the rainforest, pollution of our oceans can attest to. I kind of think that modern man is a sterile being, he cannot create he can only do what he is told. He is unhappy not fulfilled and is trapped in what seems a kind of life but it really isn’t living.
But on a serious note
When did George Clooney become an authority on anything. I don’t see the logic whereby the actions of a rich guy inspire enough men out there to make ball ironing a craze. I do notice that movie stars never talking much about summer reading lists of volunteering efforts they are part of. In the rare instance that they do talk about it there is never a book reading or volunteering craze. I think so many live such a vapid and empty existence that they just wait for the next thing to do to give life some meaning.
Here is an ideas
Why not give free ball ironing for all guys suffering from elephantiasis – disease that is characterized by the thickening of the skin and underlying tissues, especially in the legs and male genitals – pre and post treatment. We can tell all participants that they are getting what we call in America the George Clooney, because it’s grossly overinflated literally and is more of a burden on daily life than a benefit.
The More you know
Elephantiasis occurs in the presence of microscopic, thread-like parasitic worms such as Wuchereria bancrofti, Brugia malayi, and B. timori, all of which are transmitted by mosquitoes.However, the disease itself is a result of a complex interplay between several factors: the worm, the symbiotic Wolbachia bacteria within the worm, the host’s immune response, and the numerous opportunistic infections and disorders that arise. Consequently, it is common in tropical regions and Africa. The adult worms only live in the human lymphatic system. The parasite infects the lymph nodes and blocks the flow of lymph throughout the body; this results in chronic edema, most often noted in the lower torso.
- “Ball Ironing” Becomes the Latest Hollywood Trend for Smooth Testicles (counselheal.com)
- What is lymphatic filariasis? (theglobaldispatch.com)
- ‘Ball Ironing,’ a Cosmetic Procedure for Men (nymag.com)
- Ball Ironing, George Clooney-Inspired Cosmetic Procedure, Uses Lasers To Remove Testicle Wrinkles – But Is It Safe? (medicaldaily.com)
- George Clooney Likes to “Iron” (q104.cbslocal.com)
- George Clooney’s ‘Ball Ironing’ for Wrinkled Testicles becomes Hollywood’s Latest Fad (scienceworldreport.com)
- How to make your unmentionables as smooth as George Clooney (thetimes.co.uk)