Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Colored People: Wear Stevie Wonder type Shades if You’re going to feed your puppy outside


Breaking News

An African-American teenager is accusing Miami police of brutality after being pushed to the ground and placed in a chokehold. Fourteen-year-old Tremaine McMillian was carrying his young puppy when a Miami-Dade police officer confronted him. Police say Tremaine appeared to be a threat because he gave the officer “dehumanizing stares.” The officer pushed McMillian to the ground and held him there in a chokehold. Speaking to CBS Miami, Miami-Dade Police Detective Alvaro Zabaleta tried to justify the incident by saying even though he tried to walk away, McMillian was accosted because his “body language” amounted to a threat.

Alvaro Zabaleta: “Once he’s approaching the roadway, they grab him. And then once his body language of stiffening up, closing the fists, flaring his hands, trying to pull away — well, now you’re resisting an officer at that point. Of course, we have to neutralize a threat in front of us. And when you have somebody that is being resistant, somebody that is pulling away from you, somebody that’s clenching their fists, somebody that’s flaring their arms, that’s the immediate threat. At this point, we’re not dealing or concerned with the puppy; what we’re concerned about is the immediate threat towards the officer.”

Although the officers say McMillian clenched his fists and flailed his arms, he says that was impossible because he was holding his 6-week-old puppy with one hand and bottle-feeding him with the other. McMillian is facing felony charges of resisting arrest with violence. McMillian says he was feeding his puppy with a bottle when the police attacked him. The puppy suffered an injury to his left paw.

MrMary Solves another Case

police-brutality-infographic

I do not know what a dehumanizing stare is and I don’t want to know. I just know that all this could have been avoided if the African American teenager in question had worn shades that concealed his eyes.  He  might have gotten away without the forcible introduction to homosexually themed  S&M.

Well now that I think about his body language,  I’m pretty sure it would have still fucked him over and set him up for that hip-thrust free choke hold.  When I see the cops I tense up. If I look at the most celebrated cases of police brutality I may be killed, hospitalized, sodomized with a plunger or shot in multiples of 20.  The police scared me into excelling in track and field.

I think ultimately the kid is at fault, he was in the wrong place (America) at the wrong time ( pretty much 1770 -2050) I’m hoping by 2050 they would have invented  8 hour skin whitening – when combined with 8 hour energy you will have the perfect work and transportation experience. It will last for only 8 hours each shot lasts 4 hours and tastes of artificial grape and orange. Two 4 hour periods will provide you with enough time to get to work, run errands and buy food in the better neighbourhood and then finally return to the stunted psychological cul de sac that you call your existence.

Takeaway message: To my fellow coloured people dress as non threatening as possible and be outside as least as possible. This means a lot of layering, UGG boots, shades, birkenstocks, baggy cardigans, beat up expensive jeans, loafers that used to be expensive  but are shit now. Don’t own dogs, pre-emptively accept your inevitable abuse Remember it is only brutality if society thinks you are worth something otherwise its complaining and being ungrateful.

3 thoughts on “Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Colored People: Wear Stevie Wonder type Shades if You’re going to feed your puppy outside

  1. Whattheeverlovingfuck?

    This should never have happened. If a 14 year old boy bottle feeding a puppy is now labeled as a threat, we are ALL in a lot of trouble. What is next? Arresting a 10 year old for playing with balloons and kittens? Charging a 16 year old for helping the elderly cross the street?

    Gods DAMN, people make me sick.
    Can I be a sugar glider instead?

    Like

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