MrMary Responds to: Why It’s Okay To Be Fat by Golda Poretsky


Having a younger sister and looking out for her for a long fucking time gave me the opportunity to observe for my own eyes, how the pressure to look a certain way, especially for women, can erode away self esteem.  The more I read online and the more people I meet the more I realize how much of an epidemic body dismorphia is.

Personally I feel that

  1. One’s size should not have anything to do with one’s worth. A human being is an amazing thing especially the female sub-population of our species. Extra weight means bigger boobies, and a bigger ass and as a heterosexual guy that’s amazing.
  2. It’s awesome to be confident, and accept how you look, and I fucking applaud that, but one should not let  the self-loving get out of hands and blind you to some truths bout your health

Lemme explain

Women come in all shapes and sizes and so did MrMary until MrsMary saved him from his descent into savagery
Women come in all shapes and sizes and so did MrMary until MrsMary saved him from his descent into savagery

Nothing looks better on a woman than confidence, that is other than MrMary. Studies have shown that 80% of woman like to enjoy chocolately treats in bed. But since your already this deep in, into the post of course, let me get a lil serious.

I think the term fat is a meaningless word. We have to be more specific. There are optimal ranges for percent body fat that have been calculated for men and women.  Percent body fat that fall outside this range, whether towards the higher or lower end have been linked to a variety of health problems. (We will focus on the higher end) Excessive body weight (specifically excess body fat) has been linked to various diseases, particularly cardiovascular diseases, diabetes mellitus type 2, obstructive sleep apnea, certain types of cancer, osteoarthritis and asthma.

There is no set weight that any one person should be. It’s not necessary to be a size 0 or size 6 or too look like a skin and bones model. Whatever size you are the main concern overall health. If you are happy the way you are and you are medically obese I just think it’s important to know that maintaining  the lifestyle that allows the excess weight to remain is dangerous for your health.

That’s the real reason diets don’t work. Most diets especially fad diets do not change the behaviour/ food associations / or the coping mechanism in place that lead to the current condition.They give you quick results that dont last. From the way I have seen the ladies sing Missy Eliots: One minute man, I would think that this need for long lasting results would carry over into dieting results.

I feel that part of loving yourself is being honest with yourself about certain actions you do. Life is precious, to me each second counts and it’s not ok to deny the fact that some of our behaviours (not just eating in excess, being too sedentary too for example.) are not healthy and in the long run can shorten our life. Being sick nowadays even with our advanced medicine is not fun.

Ok that’s the end of my rant.You can be or do whatever you want to do, wear whatever you want, walk proud, because to be alive as long as you are is a cause for celebration. I think anyone who shames another person should be beaten down, but that’s another story. We all know people who didn’t make it this far;  just don’t let your mortality creep up on you earlier than need be. Don’t worry what the Catholics say there’s nothing wrong with loving yourself… just make sure your not hurting yourself in the process of all that loving and living it up

Obesity is a leading preventable cause of death worldwide, with increasing prevalence in adults and children, and authorities view it as one of the most serious public health problems of the 21st century

I don’t even know if this is coherent but it is what came to mind after I saw this. There is a lot more I would like to say, but I would like to hear more about what you feel about the subject. It doesn’t affect me the same being a dude and there is a lot I of course dont know.

Share tell me whats on your mind



  1. This lady makes a whole lot of sense. When I eat crap or too much fat, sugar or salt I feel shit and look shitty and bloated even though I’m probably perceived as ‘thin’ . If you treat your body the way you treat your car or your dog, exercise it and give it the right fuel, it will look great and thrive no matter what your weight or size, and healthy is very attractive. The only thing I’d add is making sure you are sufficiently hydrated by drinking plenty if water and avoiding processed food as all the hidden unnatural sugars, additives and preservatives can make you look bloated and paunchy. If you want chocolate or ice cream have the best. If you want cake, make your own and share it. And like you say confidence is key, maybe one day I’ll crack that one too 😉


    • Hey Sistah!!!

      Nice to see ya dear! I agree that eating processed or fast food is a a terrible thing to do to yourself. The body works optimally on optimal fuel. Not enough people are hydrated and this leads to high level of constipation which has disastrous ramification for health and well being. I would have never guessed from your writing that you are not confident! Then again Im guessing you would have known that I am an introvert from my writing here


  2. I kinda feel the same way. A woman is a woman regardless if she’s a size 0 or a size 16 (I’m a size 7, and usually quite happy with it). Sometimes people really do have big bones, or are taller/shorter, have different levels of body fat. So long as you’re healthy, I’d say it’s fine.

    The problem is when people don’t ever exercise, get so obese they can’t walk or leave their home, eat so many fatty foods that their arteries harden and we have heart attack sufferers who are 20 years old. There’s a difference between being a big, lovely lady like Queen Latifah…and being so inactive/unhealthy that you get Type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea.

    I’d rather the media stop with the “Fat Shaming” and focus instead on “Healthly Living”.


    • This is what I’m talking about, everyone has a different build a different body composition. What matters is that one is healthy at whatever size they are workign either through lifestyle they are maintaining. The media has an agenda to push projects and ideologies that cripple one’s free spirit, and make us only vehicles of consumption of various ‘foods’. I really feel that the focus should be about being healthy and active and also enjoying life. You catch more with honey than vinegar, Everyone wants to live as long as possible as healthy as possible. Fat shaming is detrimental to the emntal adn emotional well being of people. This is a terrible practice


  3. Another thing: why are some obese guys so down on the female figure, when they can stand to lose weight themselves?

    Example: I’m a size 7 woman, but have 34DD breasts and am (as my black coworker says) “bootylicious for a white chick”. I had a very overweight male customer about 1 month ago who felt it was necessary to say “My, you’re a odd looking female, ain’t cha?” I’m a bit sardonic when it comes to myself, so I smiled and said that I’m an odd THINKING female as well. 😉

    Thought that would be the end of it, but after I finished ringing him out he stood off to the side and commented how my chest is too large for my figure…I look like a black woman because of my ass…my hair color looks fake (wtf, I’m a natural blonde)…and my skin is far too pale (sorry for being of German descent?).

    I originally thought it was a very horribly done neg, but then his wife and kids came up, and he kept going. It was quite surreal…being told by someone who literally had 4 chins that I “would look more womanly if I lost my ass and tits”. Frickin’ weird as it gets, I’m telling ya.


      • I *am* a nice person, and I take very few things as serious as others think I should. There are so many other things in life that ARE serious and are deserving of attention/care that I really just can’t sweat the small stuff.

        I may believe in reincarnation, but that doesn’t mean lives are for wasting. They’re for loving and learning, not hemming and hawwing! 😀


    • First of hi five for being bootylicious! It “bootylicious” is one of my favorite adjectives and I always end up spelling callypygean wrong.

      There are so many things wrong with this, and it just goes to show I feel how much we have been brainwashed by the media and the current body dismorphia epidemic sweeping through the nation. I think it should also how stunted in our growth as individuals and as a country we are if we cannot recognize the diversity in all expressions of people. I dont think this dude accepts himself as he is so he cannot accept other for what they are. He recourse then is to classify everything with his collection of premade boxes full of tired labels. There is a lot more I can say but I will save it for a post.

      Sorry about that dude though :-(. Luckily not all of us are still children trapped inside adult bodies


  4. Love this! You always do such a great job with these kinds of posts 🙂 I’ve been called fat, and I tip the scale at 115. It’s nice to hear a man talk about the pressure put on women in an understanding way.


    • I think that the amount of BS that is fed to people and the amaount of overall ignorance is too much and people suffer for it. It’s nice to talk honestly and be frank. It is empowering I feel. Plus all jokes aside I hate seeing people hurt because of ignorance and small mindedness of others its just really infuriating


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