It has been my observation that intention is superbly important. The reason why we do thing many a time often dictates the outcome of our action. Hard work, dedication discipline without a doubt play a role but to me they all trump intention. Let me give you an example.
Number 1 A friend is going on Spring break eh wants to look good at the beach so he can pick up chicks and subsequently pack them like he is working the late shift at FedEx. So he hits the gym we works out hard and gets results goes to spring break has a good time doesnt get syphilis and goes back to the gym and jsut cant get into it. He stops making “gainz”plateaus in all his major lifts and ask MrMary for some advise.
Number 2 Another friend see a family member suffer and die of cancer. That experience changes him. He wants to live life more fully than he was before. He figures that he has to devote time to himself to better himself in all aspects. If he doesn’t put his own health and well being and joy first he wont be able to fulfil his responsibilities to those in his life who depend on him well. He decided to learn a new language to read books he has never read and to hit the gym. He wants to build his body and his mind. After 6 months he continues to make gains, his lifts are better, he is a whole new person.
I have seen this time and time again. A lady who tries to loose weight to yield to familial, friendly or significant other pressuring, never does as well as someone who is losing weight for themselves. These observations lead me to belief that if we do not put our self development and self-actualization as a priority we wont be able to be their as completely as possible for those who need us at work, school, in our relationships. Because of my own medical condition I have to put my health first. I remember when I was in the ER in agony and I kept thinking, I hope I don’t miss to much side work because rent is late.
Yeah it is cliche to say put your self first before your significant other family etc, but the reality is when something happens like sickness or illness or something that could have been lessened if you payed more attention to yourself it is already too late. It is amazing what regular check ups can do, but almost no guy over 40 I knows goes willing without a lot of coaxing.
One thing I have noticed personally is that when you focus on cultivating yourself and your skills you can see how one’s well being and development cannot happen in a vacuum. My growth and development is dependant on my family’s growth and development which is dependant on my neighbours etc. I’m not really serious about my own self development if I spend time antagonizing my neighbour. Stendhal said and I agree that we can get everything in solitude, except strength of character. We cannot grow in the absence of others to provide us the positive and negative stimuli that will spur on growth.
Just my two cents whaddya think ?