MrMary on Blogs, Blogging and Bloggers (1)

imagesThe appearences of things are deceptive

fallaces sunt rerum species

I have been blogging here for a year and change and its been a pretty amazing experience. I thought it would be interesting to share my thoughts and views on blogging, blogs and bloggers every few months.  It’s kind of like FDR’s fireside chats but fewer calories, less bullshit but more taste. When I started blogging about five years ago things were so different. When I think of blogging then the image of someone sticking their foot into the water to see how cold it is comes to mind. Now things are different, companies are hiring people to manage their blogs, grow their twitter feeds. Blogging is a business now, you can make money with your blog in a host of way, or you get a job through your blog as a writer for a magazine that addresses whatever niche you write or pontificate about. That’s pretty amazing to me.

The one thing that drew me to blogging was the lack of the commercial feel to it. It used to feel, well more than than it does now, that people were sincerely talking and sharing and joking around not for likes although that was nice when it happened.  Sometimes I feel like blogging has become about getting more and more likes and comments. I have seen a lot of bloggers over the last couple of years play more and more of a personality. Sometimes I search through the blogosphere looking for sometime real to read something that affirms that we are all human beings imperfect, struggling, and laughing at the absurdity of life. With the exception of a few blogs I don’t see that happen so much. Actually it happens so infrequently that there are often apologies that start off a post. Let me give you an example:

I am sorry, I just had to respond to something that really moved me…ok that’s done …back to my regularly shtick.

Please don’t misunderstand I am not condemning this. I just find it interesting as it is very telling.  Statements like this really tell me  a lot about how bloggers perceive themselves. Do they perceive themselves as distinct from the persona they play or that comes through on the blog. There must be some sort of deep disconnect there beyond the superficial if we have to apologize or make other s aware that we are breaking character to talk about something seriously, or let our audience know we are momentarily deviating from what we usually talk about.

For me the more I blog the less the difference between MrMary and Dave. Actually I feel now that MrMary is just the name I go by so my employers cannot deny me a promotion or fire me because I think what I think. If you were to meet me in person and we hung out enough that I trusted you enough I think you would find the same person you see here, maybe more fleshed out.

Just some disjointed thoughts

That’s all for now




  1. Agreed. I only like a post, when I really like a post. I read blogs everyday, but don’t just like for like sake you know. I’m finding though, myself included, that many bloggers this year, are going back to posting from the heart, being real. Keeping witty banter and some humor but going back to the basics of writing to satisfy themselves, not the blog fans. I’m really excited to see how these blogs transform.


    • yeah, Im excited to see how they transform too. i think its nourishign for me for my soul to see that other people face the same issues I face , and are going through similiar difficulties. i have to say that the feeling of beign alone in something is the worse feeling. I think that’s why as much as I love laughing I love even more reading something sincere and honest from others


  2. In some ways, I am hoping to make the writer behind Alice more like Alice – she is me, but me out loud, if that makes sense. I am much more introverted in real life, but if I have time to think it out, I do much better. There is question about sincerity around here, though, and I’ve seen people change. Sometimes their blog goes in a new direction, one the writer needed to go in. Some follow along, some don’t. Some stick with the same old thing even though they’ve changed, but start feeling like they’re being fake after a while. Others get an inflated sense of self importance and then they just aren’t fun anymore. It can become all about the followers, the comments, and the likes. Some blogs just fade away.

    My blog is primarily for humor, though other stuff seeps in. But humor is how I handle life, and I’m not sure how to do it any other way. If that makes sense.


    • Hey Alice

      What you said makes perfect sense and your blog always has this genteel and honest feel through it through the humor. That’s what I liked most about it. I oscillate in real life sometimes between being really closed off and and unsually vivacious and interactive. I have always tried to make the blog be honest to how I am in real life. It has its up and downs its deep thoughts, its juvenile jokes etc. You’re blog is one of my favorites which I was happy to collaborate with you. BTW I just emailed you. Hope you’ve been well



  3. I agree with a lot of what you’ve said here. There are certainly personalities on WordPress who are “playing a part” in an effort to commercialize themselves. I won’t say too much about that because I think everyone has the right to do what they want on their own page, but I do miss the authenticity that blogs used to have. Having said that, the people who are truly authentic really do stand out, and tend to be my favorite reads.


    • Hey Jen,

      I agree with you everyone has the right to do what they want with their page. Sometimes i get spoiled tho I must admit: someone opens up a little and you can get a glimpse of how awesome they are. It is tough to go from that back to the jokes and the commercialization. Im with you the authentic and sincere posts are the one’s I gravitate towards.

      Hi five on the comment, it was kick ass


  4. I’ve only been blogging anywhere for ‘a year and change’ [love that phrase], so I don’t have anything to compare my experiences to, however my blogging experience has turned out so much /better/ than I ever thought it would. I began blogging because that was what the marketing gurus said you had to do. I guess I was lucky because the people who finally found my blog did not become potential customers, they became friends.

    Now my posts are less about me pontificating on something, and more about me throwing ideas out there and then having a conversation about them in comments. I do feel a sort of responsibility to keep my posts interesting, but I’m not scared of doing the odd ‘personal’ type post as well.

    I think like does call to like, and those who are genuine in their posts tend to get genuine readers. At least that’s how I see it. 🙂


    • yeah like does call to like which means that we both must be some of the coolest people around these parts 🙂

      I don’t remember what started me off blogging. I think I just wanted to speak freely more than anything. I think at work we censor ourselves, at home we do too and sometimes it feels like a heavy weight or like a heavy burden to keep a lot of stuff bottled in. it’s changed a lot since then, but its still fun to see how sensible people respond to actuaL ideas and its humbling really too I must say, to learn from others and give them that space to speak freely as well


  5. When I “created” C.K. Hope I was going for a persona. Every bit of online writing I’ve ever done was as a “character”. Instead, as I started writing it just became me writing. I’ve found I rather enjoy writing what *I* want instead of what is expected of my persona.


    • I think it shows in your writing. There is a sincerity and honesty in it like your post on impossibility and the one about the hope sanctuary. I have found writing to be very introspective. often times i come wanting to write about thigsn froma certain angle a certain type of tone and style but usually something else takes over in very much the same way you describe above, and its like magic .It’s wonderful to observe that and take part in it.


  6. I didn’t get to finish my comment and WP did something weird and posted! Anyway, I just wanted to say that blogging is a wonderful way to communicate with other people, and it can be disappointing when bloggers don’t take the time to express their thoughts and join the conversation. I belong to a small community of bloggers (it seems we all follow each other for the most part), and I end up knowing more about everyone by following their conversations on other blogs, not just mine. I’d rather have a few meaningful blogging relationships than hundreds of people who simply ‘like’ my posts.


    • I am with you 4amWriter. I love the meaningful blogging realtionships and for me those people are the one’s I write for. The comfort and camaraderie allows me to relax and let loose a little and really explore my thoughts in an open way. I think that what I love the most about blogging. You sometimes get the opportunity to put your defenses and walls down and just interact with another human being in an honest and sincere way. That’s redeeming esp nowadays where everyone is so caught up in everything else that isnt important. Thanks for the comment !!! your awesome !


    • Blogging really has added something to my life that was lacking. I cant say what it is, but the more I comment /write/chit chat with other bloggers the more grounded I feel. I think that out society really isolates us a lot from each other. We are all sometimes I feel at least blocked off from each other, working , trying to move forwards with life, runnign errands and the whole 9 yards.

      Thats sounds pretty awesome belong to that small community. Itoo woudl rather have a few meaningful blogging relationships that legions of adoring followings who like my posts. You reminded me of something Stendhal said lemme get it .


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