Fame as we know it comes with a lot of drama. Luckily today you are going to help me sort through this drama, and pick the most accurate picture of Beyonce. Everyone knows who Beyonce is, I am assuming. With that said, who is the real Beyonce ? Please choose:
Ok let me Stop Joking
Beyonce the person no one knows, but Beyonce the doctored imaged everyone knows mostly probably because her skin color has been changed to appeal to just about every demographic. There is this age-old process called whitewashing. I am not an expert so I will quote an article on it written by Daily Show Correspondant Aasif Mandvi for the magazine The Salon
All I have to say is that whitewashing has been going on since as long as Hollywood has existed — it’s a tradition — and rather than non-white people complaining about it, they should embrace it. It will make going to the movies so much easier and more fun. But there are just a few things you need to understand.
First, stop watching movies as ethnic people and start watching them as white people. There’s nothing that white people like more than seeing other white people in movies and on television. When you go to the movies with your ethnic “judgment” eyes, you miss my point. Watch as a white person, and suddenly your outrage turns to understanding and laughter.
Take a minute to walk to your limousine in my Gucci shoes, and you’ll realize that I’m just trying to make people smile. Mickey Rooney with buckteeth and a crazy accent in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”? It’s so much funnier than finding a real Chinese actor just talking like himself. Then you’d have to get a screenwriter to actually write genuinely funny lines for that character. You get so much more comedy bang with buckteeth and a funny accent. I mean, it made me laugh. Many people, including myself, were also convinced that Charlton Heston truly was a Mexican/Native American/Egyptian/Ape who talked to God. And I think I convinced a lot of Asians that Genghis Khan really did look like John Wayne back in the ’60s. “Short Circuit” was one of my biggest hit movies and I was completely convinced that Fisher Stevens was Indian. Who knew he was a Jewish guy from New York? That accent was spot on!
My point is, I’m not the bad guy. I’m just the rich guy. When you look at it through my studio executive lens, you understand how important it is that both white people and non-white people believe that Indians, Asians, Mexicans and Arabs are truly just white people in brown makeup. I don’t like thinking that way. I just don’t have the luxury not to. I’m a businessman. White people spend more money on shit than anyone else. (Except on fast food, which is mostly blacks and Mexicans … at least that’s what I have heard. I’m a vegan.) So hey, non-Caucasians, stop buying tacos and start buying Cadillacs.
White people are also cheaper to light than dark-skinned people, and just so you know, you the moviegoer end up paying for that extra cost. Sometimes it’s just too unbelievable to cast an ethnic actor. I turned away a lovely Indian actress once who auditioned for the role of a hobbit. I mean there are no Indian hobbits. Audiences would never believe that.
Now, look: I am trying to do the right thing. America has changed and Hollywood should attempt to portray a truer depiction of the ethnic diversity that makes up this country. The fact that many television shows now hire a certain percentage of non-white actors is a step in the right direction, right? I am even prepared to make a deal with you ethnic people out there. Every time you let me cast a non-Caucasian character with a Caucasian actor, I will give you two or three non-white actors in smaller supporting roles. Why not lead roles? Because I’m trying to make a living here. I have spent a lot of time and money throughout history convincing everyone that white is normal. I have even convinced non-white people that white is better, prettier, smarter, stronger, and that only white people can truly be the heroes. Everyone has bought into it, and now you want me to just abandon all my hard work? OK, I will make an exception for some of you non-whites: If you are a hot Latina, you can be the lead. Why? Because white guys want to fuck Jennifer Lopez.
Here are a few more key elements to remember when watching a movie the way white people have been programmed to react. Laugh at the funny accents, because they are funny. Ignore the source material; I’m making movies, I don’t give a shit about staying true to your comic books. And … hold on! Why the fuck is Idris Elba playing a Norse God!?
The Black History Tie-IN
Person I dont mind white washing or making minority celebrities have more caucasian features through photoshop. It beats the pre-Hollywood white washing any day. Ah the pre-Hollywood white washing is called lynching. Basically if I understand this correctly
Lynching, the practice of killing people by extrajudicial mob action, occurred in the United States chiefly from the late 18th century through the 1960s. Lynchings took place most frequently in the Southern United States from 1890 to the 1920s, with a peak in the annual toll in 1892. It is associated with re-imposition of white supremacy in the South after the Civil War. The granting of U.S. Constitutional rights to freedmen in the Reconstruction era (1865–77) aroused anxieties among American citizens, who came to blame African Americans for their own wartime hardship, economic loss, and forfeiture of social privilege. Black Americans, and Whites active in the pursuit of integration rights, were sometimes lynched in the South during Reconstruction. Lynchings reached a peak in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, when Southern states changed their constitutions and electoral rules to disfranchise blacks and, having regained political power, enacted a series of segregation and Jim Crow laws to reestablish White supremacy.
Some Things You May Not Know about Lynching
- It was popular up until the 1960’s [about a generation ago]
- At the start of the 20th century in the United States, lynching was photographic sport. People sent picture postcards of lynchings they had witnessed. Lynching scenes became a burgeoning subdepartment of the postcard industry.
- In the Great Migration, extending in two waves from 1910 to 1970, 6.5 million African Americans left the South, primarily for northern and mid-western cities, for jobs and to escape the risk of lynchings.
- The Tuskegee Institute has recorded 3,446 blacks and 1,297 whites were lynched between 1882 and 1968
- After their increased immigration to the US in the late 19th century, Italian Americans also became lynching targets, chiefly in the South, where they were recruited for laboring job
- Particularly in the West, Chinese immigrants, East Indians, Native Americans and Mexicans were also lynching victims. The lynching of Mexicans and Mexican Americans in the Southwest was long overlooked in American history
The Most Notable Lynching to my and best example of White-washing
The ashes of a burned/charred/multilated body are ironically greyish white regardless of ethnicity. (That’s a subtle comment folks, let that marinate for a bit)
Washington was tried for murder in Waco, in a courtroom filled with furious locals. He entered a guilty plea and was quickly sentenced to death. After his sentence was pronounced, he was dragged out of the court by observers and lynched in front of Waco’s city hall. Over 10,000 spectators, including city officials and police, gathered to watch the attack. There was a celebratory atmosphere at the event, and many children attended during their lunch hour. Members of the mob
- castrated Washington,
- cut off his fingers,
- and hung him over a bonfire.
He was repeatedly lowered and raised over the fire for about two hours. After the fire was extinguished, his charred torso was dragged through the town and parts of his body were sold as souvenirs. A professional photographer took pictures as the event unfolded, providing rare imagery of a lynching in progress. The pictures were printed and sold as postcards in Waco.
Author’s note– I wanted to say for the record this post is graphic and despite it being so I am not complaining about it. I am not on welfare and I have never been. I don’t complain or need a handout. I have great teeth. I prefer Pepsi to both orange and grape soda, and instead of masturbating to a fictitious image of our country as being the home of the free and brave, I embrace America’s history as it is lynching and genocide and all in the hopes that in the future it wont be repeated ever again and that we can one day clean some of the blood stained spots off our collective soul.