The Most Personal Post Yet Sorta: The Lost Vegas Reflection

Quest-ce qu’une grande vie, sinon une pensée de la jeunesse exécutée par l’âge mûr ? »
(Alfred de Vigny)

One day while sobering up in Vegas I had an interesting refection that I recorded. I had trouble uploading it the whole trip. Today it worked and while looking at it finally uploaded to YouTube It make me remember something I have carried with me for a loan. It’s like my Zen koan that brings me to the threshold of satori in a way. Of course the idea of being brought to the threshold of satori is a barrier to it happening and metaphysically or experientially depending on what kind of work you do on your free time, there exists no barrier between awakening and any other moment, I’m sure you can look past my rather reductionist explanation.

Going Deep

Yeah MrMary can do metaphysical too. Sexual innuendo type jokes, spirituality, metaphysics and philosophy are all the same activity to me, they are all a search for meaning for an experiential understanding of why we find ourselves here. But that is always how I approached life. I’ve never seen anything as separate from living.  its like to me a multitude of waves on the ocean, they all have different amplitudes  frequencies , period, but they are all movement. It reminds me of something from the Zen Master Renzai:


Those of you who wish to discipline themselves in the Buddha’s Dharma must seek true understanding. When this understanding is attained you will not be defiled by birth and death. Whether walking or standing still, you will be your own master. Even when you are not trying to achieve something extraordinary, it will come to you all by itself.

What I always took from this was that the impetus to true understanding was for me the utmost driving force in my life at least. The nature of true understanding lies beyond any ideology or theorems. Like the nature of love. Not the hallmark love, or the reason why you accede to anal or something else you don’t want to do for your significant other male/female or dolphin. (Yes a man had a relationship with a dolphin and wrote a book about it) .

Back to reality

I always love writing posts like this where I just run with stuff that under normal circumstances seem incongruous but are all a piece in a important mosaic. The quote above says something to the affect of what is a good life but a dream or ideas in childhood realized in old age. This is not a text book literal definition. If you want that then you have to pay extra, don’t worry its only a little bit 🙂 it’s worth it.  The world still amazes me  and I guess I never lost that or the willingness to embarrass myself in public for a good laugh. Either way here is the video :


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