Childhood Reflections: Why Did this make me laugh today ? Inappropriate Christmas Songs and Catholic School


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I think deep down inside we never get over our initial conditioning. We may react to it, in a positive way affirming it in our lives and the subsequent daily actions. We may choose to refute it and deny it and become the walking living refutation of whatever ideology that shaped us. Whatever the case the conditioning takes precedent.

I was a very sheltered kid, and it wasnt till I won a scholarship to a prep school that I really heard people curse. I remember being 16 and seeing that some kid I need had cut out of porn magazine decorating his locker. It was like new worlds open for me. I never felt American to be honest and English was a language that I had to use because I was born here. Whereas non of my family grew up speaking English.
It was an always an uneasy interaction and at any moment, French words or Kreyol words would be interjected in the stream of English words that seemed to assault me. Actually in my freshman year my favourite English teacher used to call me “Frenchie” because I sounded French Canadian a lil and could not pronounce “immediately” like I was born here, and I used words really oddly at times. Luckily I did speech and debate for 2-3 years before I was kick off the team for a prank.

Anyways, one year before Christmas, my friend “Vito” comes up to me and says Dave you gotta listen to this, it fugging unbelievable its really funny. He wouldn’t tell me what it was. I didn’t know English could sound so harsh, or disgustingly funny. That year I discovered George Carlin and stand-up and it was complete overload.

Soon I was the most filthy-mouth teller of jokes and inappropriate comment/anecdotes.  I even remixed popular disney songs and made them in to homages to anal, and all sorts of impossibly dirty things. (BTW-FREE ADVISE –  if you are 16 and male don’t ask your physics teacher if he grew a goatee so girls would like sitting on his face, Thomas Gunn was his name I had to guys) Since them Ive always been fascinated for things which are taboo, because they are a mirror to the personal and collective shadow. ( Did you know one summer I went crazy and read a lot of Cark Jung all alone.) I guess looking back no one saw that I was amazed that language could do what it could do, and that each of us has and individual voice that can move people and change things long after the person who said or wrote something has long gone.Dirty jokes were always for me a window into a world I was not a part of and still don’t feel a part of. I think that has become an integral part of my humor, but that for another story.

Anyways here are the inappropriate songs I heard that Christmas season in 1996 (I was 16 then don’t judge me)  if you are easily offended please leave this post now.

Jingle Bell Rock Parody

The Classic Frosty Parody

I played these song for my sister 6 years younger than me and we still sing it together at family gatherings to annoy my parents.

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