I was in the gym doing some light cardio getting my mind focused before I did my chest exercises for the day. While I am killing myself on the elliptical I hear “Push it, Push it Harder, cmon now Harder!!!! Yeah that’s it. I thought to myself: “Have I not had it in so long that Im hearing perverted shit now instead of saying it.”
Turns out there was a zumba type of dance exercise class in the gym. The Instructor some blonde lady in her early 40’s had a microphone attached to the side of her head. There were a mix of people in the class. it was mostly women, but from my vantage point I saw mostly old women. You know those grey haired all women named Birdie, Pearl, or Dolores, who save up dollar bills for birthday cards and love to wrap sweets up hermetically in white napkins, yeah those kind of old women.
First off I love old people and never really got to know my grandparents as I wish I could. Its my love of them that forces me to write this post. Imagine if you saw your grandma trying to spastically dance to this song:
It was just a bad image to hear the hook over and over again: How you like it Daddy, over and over again from the song , and from time to time the instructor yelling to her class : Keep it up, cmon, Hold it!!! Push it harder Yeah that’s it !!!
I shook my fucking head and went straight to the weight section and pumped some iron. But please everyone pass this around, maybe it will get to an instructor who because of your effort wont play the following three songs which in addition to the first, I have had to see old fucking Birdie and Pearl dance along to like they suffer from a combo of bad neuro- muscular coordination and constipation. It’s all fun and games till you see your grandma twerking it on the gym
- Hello, Fellow Gym-Goers, Look at My Fat Butt (jezebel.com)
- Philip Marlowe v. Agent Cooper, ‘New Girl’s Schmidt v. OutKast, And Manhood’s Relationship To Female Pleasure (thinkprogress.org)
- Zumba Fitness: Company of the Year (inc.com)
- 10 Steps to Help Prevent Falls in the Elderly, from The CareGiver Partnership (prweb.com)
- Total Gym Announces Black Friday & Cyber Monday Sales Event – Savings of up to 60% off the Best-Selling Total Gym XLS at TotalGymDirect.com (prweb.com)
- Man Sings Unintentionally Hilarious Song to Biracial Girls (clutchmagonline.com)
- Song of the day: You know you lift me up dancing (masmusicblog.com)