How MrMary Learned how NOT to approach women

Being an older brother to a younger sister I was taught the value of respecting and treating women correctly, and so far that training has come in handy. I keep the lights off and don’t ask about whether they should be on.  However there was an odd occurrence which happened on rainy day at the Franklin Ave 2,3 and 4,5 train station in Brooklyn.

Those days, I was very angry. I thought working out with a bunch of other guys who were bitter and malcontent would help reduce it and it did. We worked out and talked a lot of shit. We also drank at school. Vodka and bench pressing in retrospect do not make much sense but I guess we were young and stupid. We were an odd mix of chemists, electrical, biomedical and computer science majors with huge chips on our shoulders. So for 5 days a week 2-3 hours a day, we lifted together, had lunch together, talked massive amounts of shit together. I went from 185lbs to 245lbs which for a guy 5’9 was crazy.

As one of my female friend at the time said, it looked like we went to jail to work out. One of my work out buddies told me actually that I reminded him of his dog (a pit bull rottweiler mix). His dog was so angry and aggressive they couldn’t even bring a bitch in heat into his enclosure just to throw him a bone, uhm figuratively.

The most Uncomfortable Train Ride Ever

As typical one hot humid NYC summer day changed to one filled with angry thunderstorms. I didn’t have an umbrella and got thoroughly soaked. While waiting for a connecting train at the station in question, a guy with a lisp came up to me and asked me for the time. I told him and then he asked me a bunch of bullshit questions to which out of politeness I answered.  I didn’t suspect anything at the time until he asked me if I lived around the neighbourhood. Maybe he could call me sometime. I was shocked and confused. First off what about me said I was gay. OK yes the shirt was tight and it clung to me like a second skin because I got caught in the rain but seeing as how I had this love affair with the female body and the ladies, I couldn’t see why he had approached me. Then all of a sudden I realized he didn’t want the time, he wanted me. I was being hit on. (That Brown Suga, can’t fuck wid it)

It was flattering. In my head I was  like yeah man all those super-sets and drop sets really paid off, but in a sort of nasty way. I am by no means a homophobe if your idea of fun is an all The-Dick-You-Can-Eat buffet, then by all means dive in, go balls deep. I just personally felt highly uncomfortable. Luckily my train came before things could get more awkward. I didn’t answer and walked on the train. Unfortunately he walked on too. It was highly uncomfortable being oggled like meat flavoured candy for the 3-4 stops. The repeated attempts at eye contact was annoying as was his trying to signal me. I  wanted to vomit. This was the most uncomfortable train ride ever especially if you throw into the mix the lewd tongue and hand gesture he made to me, right before I left one station before my stop.

This was even worse than being stuck in the train cart with the flatulent homeless guy sleeping five feet away.


Full Irish Breakfast Figuratively

I walked home a bit paranoid clenching all the way for my own safety and protection.  I felt like a sombre youth walking the streets on a hot summer day of Ancient Greece, with all the wrong people trying to cheer me up with promises of freshly squeezed juice and a few oily olives – the Greek Breakfast as it is known in county (jail) after lights out. [While I’m glad the Irish & English breakfast has surpassed the Greek breakfast in popularity  blood sausage and white pudding aren’t much of an improvement] From that day on I always remembered my umbrella.

I learned some valuable tips on how not to approach women from this uncomfortable incident.  When I got home that day I immediately saw flashing before my eyes all the times I had seen ladies put up with the horrible pick up lines delivered, the uncomfortable and creepy come-ons, stalking and cat-calls. I gained a lot of respect for women that day, having to put up with all that.

More To Be Said Later


One comment

  1. Interesting perspective. I guess women get used to it. Older women like me don’t get hit on much any just wait till you’re over 50 with a pot belly and you’ll be safe from men trying to pick you up too.


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